#350956
(1132)JunoRulz: Know what would suck? JunoRulz: Falling down an up escalator. #350962
(1084)<Shiv>To: Starduck (starduck@anbudom.net) <Shiv>From: Shiv Asmodaeus (shiv_@hotmail.com) <Shiv>Subject: Forum Ban <Shiv> <Shiv>It has been several months since I was banned from the ANBU forums, and I believe that I have <Shiv>learned my lesson. I promise to never, ever again ask for the specifics regarding what has <Shiv>infested your colon, nor if said infestation has begun the laying of eggs. If you wish, I <Shiv>will avoid the subject of your intestinal invaders altogether. <Shiv> <Shiv>Additionally, I withdraw my query regarding the status of your Valtrex prescription. <Shiv>Understandably, I am sure this would be an uncomforatable subject to speak of to a stranger. <Shiv> <Shiv>With great expectations and rock hard nipples, I await your reply. Thank you. #351018
(2180)<MalachiConstant> hah, I have a funny story about watching Ringu, ready? <Jessica> Yeah. <MalachiConstant> I was watching it on DVD, and it was a quiet scene, like s shot of someone sleeping... <MalachiConstant> I was admiring how they kept showing someone just sleeping, and were realy building the tension well... <MalachiConstant> then I realized my DVD player was stuck and I was watching a still frame for about 10 minutes on the edge of my seat #351025
(2004)<Reaver_Reload> This reminds me of a time back in college, where one of my friends who was really dumb, she was crying one day and i asked her what was wrong. Turns out she broke up with her boyfriend, but she wouldnt say why. <Reaver_Reload> I convinced her to tell me, and apparently she was talking with her other two friends about their boyfriends. one friend was complaining how cold her boyfriends nuts were when she was giving him head, and the other one agreed that her boyfriend's were really cold as well. (their boyfriends names are richard and thomas btw) <Reaver_Reload> So she says she has never given head and the other two encourage her to do it, saying its a 'great way to keep a guy' <Reaver_Reload> Just two days later apparently she ran crying to her friends and they asked her what was wrong, and she said "I tried giving him a blow job, he was enjoying it at first but then he just got up and left and said we were over before i had even finished!" <Reaver_Reload> concerned, her two friends asked her what was wrong.. turns out she said "Wow, your balls are really warm.." and he asked "why? is that bad?" and she goes "oh no its just that richards and thomases' balls are really cold" #351029
(1417)<Raiks> Has anyone got their 'Violence Against Women: Australia Says No' booklets yet? <Sweep> i have raiks <Natus> i have too <Raiks> My girlfriend opened it and got a paper cut from it, and then belted me for laughing at her #351074
(1690)jeisai: Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you, Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun life, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages every day to see what they're up to. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change. joejoe: you didn't type that, thats too proper for you to have done. joejoe: where did you get it? jeisai: it was on somoene's away message... joejoe: so its about you then? #351086
(810)<Koushiro> "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -- Karl Marx <Koushiro> "Winners don't do drugs." -- The FBI #351098
(836)[+BaByGiRL]: A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm. [+BaByGiRL]: "Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..." #351162
(739)<m0nk3h> *Italy has quit euro.2004.com (Read error: Connection reset by Scandinavia)* #351195
(865)<squire> can anyone here help me, i just dled a movie and i dunno what to do <kokoro> have you tried...watching it? #351223
(242)<Guruchild> i think that babies should be abortable up until 2 years. <Red_Dog> 2 years? I say 18. #351226
(1023)<traid> is it bad when people at work ask what happened to your porn site? #351298
(572)Esi: people have installed linux on their Xboxes so... Blayne: When people install Linux on their dishwasher, then I'll give them a nod Esi: is that a challenge? #351399
(807)Seven11Slurpes: word of advice Seven11Slurpes: if you take a shit and theres no toilet paper left Seven11Slurpes: duct tape is NOT a substitute PrinceCharming4a: o.0 whered that come from Seven11Slurpes: well, its started off like this Seven11Slurpes: i was taking a shit Seven11Slurpes: and found out i didnt have any tiolet paper left Seven11Slurpes: so i looked around a saw a roll of duct tape next to the sink Seven11Slurpes: and figured. eh. why not, what harm can i do Seven11Slurpes: and boy was i WRONG! #351420
(1135)<Eriya> I need some new and exciting way to prepare chicken legs <IamMercy> Put on a french maids outfit! <IamMercy> And play circus music <Eriya> thanks Mercy, I can always count on you to be completely unhelpful #351428
(233)<hot^> Do to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off. #351713
(873)<sparhawk85> if Electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? #351717
(467)<special_guest> Whoever said that hell hath no fury like a women scorned never owned a cat. #352050
(261)twentydeadbodies: Now that you're gay you should be picking up all sorts of chicks. Staticd00r: lol #352051
(943)<LS_Nick> :o <LS_Nick> there appears to be arse-cheek marks on my scanner... <des1re> wtf <LS_Nick> strange... <LS_Nick> tastes like my sister = #352059
(771)<Inversation> hahaha <Inversation> on the price is right: <Inversation> "our next prize is: A Super Sucker!" -woman walks out from behind curtain- <Inversation> -vacuum cleaner emerges a few seconds later- #352075
(248)JokingClown: I want to have a "wall plug" (electrical socket) surgically implanted into my skin. JokingClown: Maybe on my side, above my hip. JokingClown: It would have to actually work or anything... Itd just be funny to see people stare. JokingClown: I wonder how much a surgery like that would cost... SpyBreak: :| JokingClown: Insurance wouldnt cover it, because its cosmetic SpyBreak: WAAAAY too much time on your hands. go look at porn or something. #352172
(9272)<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :( <rycool> ... <NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door. <NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings. #352559
(972)<Xaenyth> I'm going to ask you all a question that got a friend of mine expelled from school. <Xaenyth> If you were going to shoot up a school... <Xaenyth> ...what music would you want playing on the loudspeakers as you did it? <r00x> Kill the rabbit by emler fudd #352729
(399)JunoRulz: Meh, in health class, some lady talked about it. JunoRulz: She said rape is unwanted penetration of body. JunoRulz: So I went around sticking my pinky in girls' ears. JunoRulz: Declaring rape.