#346467 (1816)
<sideburns> they opened a restaurant a few blocks away
<sideburns> it's a lesbian restaurant
<UncleGivey> HAHAHAHA
<sideburns> err... lebanese
<UncleGivey> "Hey honey, there's that new restaurant down the street... feel like eating out?"
#346997 (918)
<KitBoxPocket> jesus christ
<KitBoxPocket> we've had this number for ten years
<KitBoxPocket> TEN. YEARS.
<KitBoxPocket> And we STILL get calls from people asking for the fucking Hatfields!
<KitBoxPocket> I swear, one of these days I'm going to answer with "No! We's the McCoys and we's a-feudin'!"
#347115 (1665)
<tRonz0r> I'm $4 poorer, 1 bandanna richer and I still don't look like a pirate
<tRonz0r> yarrrrrr, tis a sad day.
#347268 (2040)
<cow_hax0r> HOLY HOLY FUCKING SHIT AFK A SEC
<leecher> er...
<cow_hax0r> Sorry back
<leecher> what's the problem, house on fire?
<cow_hax0r> No I had to get a drink
<leecher> so why the urgency?
<cow_hax0r> Well... I REALLY had to get a drink
<leecher> so your house wasn't on fire or being attacked by ninja's?
<cow_hax0r> Well.. no, but my throat was kinda dry
#347793 (2927)
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse.
* Antifreez sighs
<Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
<Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
<Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.
#348029 (1767)
<Orajim> I was in the bathroom today and written above one of the urinals said "The joke isn't on the wall, it's in your hands"
<Orajim> I never felt so small in my life.
#348034 (240)
<Squatter> Liking Russians is one of those neutral things that doesn't say anything about someone
<Lush> Yes it does
<Lush> After Khaled told his friends about me, they all wrote to say that Russians are fabulous in the general vicinity of the bedroom
<Lush> I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just smiled politely
<Squatter> Really? I never heard that. Normally I think first and foremost of the arts, then brutally oppressive government
<Lush> I think the former does not contadict the statement about bedrooms
<Squatter> Neither does the latter
#348078 (167)
<toqer> hey germ, I think you would like my wifes friend michelle
<Germ> does she like sex
<toqer> next time you're out here, we need too hook you two up
<Germ> No thanks i dont like being "hooked up"
<toqer> she like sex, weed, and eating
<Germ> eh
<Germ> wait how much eating?
#348080 (668)
<booyah> yeh i use perl too
<booyah> wrong window, ignore me
<andywho> Don't worry, you use perl, we ignore you automatically
#348129 (2297)
(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick
([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick
([sic]): that's pretty gay
#348365 (878)
<Royce> :(
<Hynox> Why the sad face Royce?
<Royce> I just went to Ask Jeeves and searched for Thesorus.
<Royce> It told me i should look for a Dictionary first.
#348401 (564)
Shivanfire: maybe I should go into politics
Shivanfire: I've always wanted to fuck a lot of people at the same time
#348436 (775)
<nostal> What are the dimensions of those little MSN display pictures?
<esuna> 2D
#348450 (2861)
OnlineHost:  Sheila41428 has entered the room.
d00d903:     hi there sheila! 17/m/tx wanna cyber?
Sheila41428: sure
d00d903:     asl
Sheila41428: 48/f/tx
d00d903:     the hell? mom?
Sheila41428: OH JESUS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
OnlineHost:  Sheila41328 has left the room.
#348482 (924)
<HEIST> I hate early am with no sleep. I hear the voices inside my head..
<HEIST> The flashbacks.. the urges..
<HEIST> Like I'm dropping down a well into a pit of something..
<HEIST> I can LITERALLY hear voices whispering in my ears
<HEIST> saying things
<HEIST> wicked things
<HEIST> telling me what to do
<Vortex> what are they saying now?
<HEIST> "drink more ovaltine"
#348498 (9218)
<MasterG> .....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
#348507 (927)
<Moose> Is a girl I've been shagging for a few months but not really 'going out with', as my heart lies elsewhere.
<Moose> Anyway, cut a long story short, she's moving up to Glasgow in 2 weeks, and as a going away gift for her, my mates between them have offered me £90 if I can film myself performing a 'Spiderman' on her.
<Moose> FYI A 'Spiderman' is the art of pulling out just before the vinegar strokes, chucking your fat into your hand, then flinging it in the girls face whilst triumphantly shouting "Go web go!!"
#348515 (-98)
<karaipantsu> Women want equal rights, but we have to do all the work in bed. :-p
<karaipantsu> Girls need to get their sexuality out on their sleeves, like us men.
<karaipantsu> Then everyone would be fucking everyone else, and the species would die out from STD's
<Idle> karaipantsu - STDs can't even kill off homosexuals, what makes you think they can kill off the rest of humanity?
#348516 (1502)
<vodak> Adding files to WinAmp has gotten much easier now that I realized 'enqueue' wasn't spanish...
#348528 (316)
<sd> my mom got pissed at me today
<sd> I was wearing the "the axe effect" and it must have turned her on, because she told me to leave the room and stay away from her =/
#348650 (512)
<N1k1tA> can't we just get along?
<tulkas> no
<tulkas> we can't
<Renegade> yeah that would suck
<N1k1tA> i hate you guys
#348697 (2024)
CascadeOrca: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Lerxs: indeed
CascadeOrca: I don't have a real father
CascadeOrca: so you're all my dad today
CascadeOrca: Congratulations.
Sixteen Bit Hero has left the room.
CascadeOrca: damnit, just like my real father
clash103 has left the room.
CascadeOrca: DADDIES! NOOOES!
Wiggidiba has left the room.
#348790 (581)
<DisgruntledBadger> Why do they call it tourist season if we can't shoot them?
#348837 (446)
<Zero_Flaw> Wow, I just saw my dad surfing the net looking at health sites about STD's. No wonder he was trying to shield the computer screen from me. But, I could still see Herpes at the top left.
<Zero_Flaw> Even worse, 5 minutes later my mom gets on the computer and looks at the same thing.
<Zero_Flaw> I should have been a bastard and said, "Mom, you don't look like you're feeling too well, something wrong?"
#348858 (465)
<Kaotic> I'm probably going to have to get wireless eventually, my brother keeps punching "network holes" in the walls