#339458
(1417)<Monsoon`> people are stupider than previously imagined <Monsoon`> My roommate talked to a customer today, told him to right-click on something. So the customer got a pen and paper, and proceeded to write "click" on it. #340338
(1890)<trigga>ow <trigga>i just stapled the roof of my mouth <trigga>i was holding the stapler in my mouth and it started slipping so i bit down #341298
(740)<Raven> YOU LIAR ENJOI <Raven> gayanal.com not a warez! #341627
(1271)<Porthos> did you hear about the new pirate movie? <Porthos> it's rated PG-13 <Porthos> wait <Porthos> damnit #341783
(528)[Vexidus] When i shared my pics folder i had like 5000 naked pics of my girl shared [Vexidus] but nobody ever downloaded [Sanctum] Vex has a daughter? #341825
(223)<Fitteh> My cellphone has a clock in it though and that is what I use. <ptj225A> Don't you have the Speaking Clock? <MaxBack> Who doesn't? Here, let me just pull my time-midget out of my pocket and slap his bottom. Sounds like it's 2:24, and that's in the P.M. #342068
(1137)<patteam717> If Neo got into a fight with Aragorn, Neo would win hands down <kissmeimtoxic> that may be true but if Agent Smith got into a fight with Elrond that would just be dumb #342139
(1722)<FlourescentGerbil> My mom is going to kill me <FlourescentGerbil> I was supposed to be watching my little brother, but while I was jacking off to porn, my brother wasted a quarter pound of beef trying to create a beef milkshake #342596
(1602)<Calvinosaur> You missed philosophy class today, huh? <71mm34> yeh <Calvinosaur> You know how Mr. Warren's policy is to read all the passed notes out loud to the entire class? <71mm34> no ive never expereinced it <Calvinosaur> Well, we really threw him for a loop today ... <Calvinosaur> Josh passed a note that made it around the whole class before Mr. W caught it. <Calvinosaur> Mr. W read it, walked out the door, and came back in ten seconds later. <Calvinosaur> We were in stitches at this point. <71mm34> wat did it say <Calvinosaur> "Mr. W's fly is open." #342633
(7899)<Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit <Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls <bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother <Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!! #342779
(987)NbVb16Mb009: i know have you ever had the weed that smells like christmas trees NbVb16Mb009: it is some good shit Me: hahahahhahah, you got dicked over. somebody sold you some pine tree branches and told you it was weed Me: do you smoke? NbVb16Mb009: no dude im a dealer shit it was weed and yea i smoke all the time NbVb16Mb009: have you ever made a beer bong Me: bull shit, you aren't a dealer Me: hahahahah, are you retarded? NbVb16Mb009: ok but if you ever want some just talk to me about it Me: just so you know, i don't believe you. what kind of weed do you sell? NbVb16Mb009: shrooms #342833
(2271)<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs <Olly> What happened to it? <Rach> i broke it <Olly> On purpose? <Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE <Rach> just stupidly <Olly> Ahh <Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it? <Rach> yeah, it's full of water #343370
(652)R-Salamander: Look at me, look at you! Watch me do that Pikachu! PeteMantis: (scratches records) R-Salamander: We stayed out 'til two o' clock! Watch me do a Thundershock! PeteMantis: (scratches records) R-Salamander: I am bored as hell tonight. MonkeyBoy: Watch me do the Dragonite! R-Salamander: Dude... We stopped doing that crap like five minutes ago. Come on. PeteMantis: We did? #343725
(957)<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work <MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0. #343805
(1843)<Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid Toys'R'us.." #343825
(1991)<[-Blacksword-]> brb, dishes have developed their own language and are talking to the garbage about overthrowing me... i must correct this #343901
(1261)<fugi> I put a note on our fridge saying "find what I peed in and win $1", roomates though it was funny, but a couple friends of ours refused to have some applejuice. #343917
(457)<RenegadeC> I have to talk to that girl who came over to my house friday night <RenegadeC> because she left her bracelet here <CardO> was she hot? <RenegadeC> yes <RPG> RenegadeC: sheep don't have bracelets; they have collars. #343937
(1295)<BlackAdder> no, because ds told me that building a comp is like putting together lego <BlackAdder> and then i went and tried putting lego together to see <BlackAdder> and i cut my finger #344096
(1698)<Mango> Haha, I went to the bathroom, came out, and ripped off a piece of sweet bread that was on the table and my dad says "What the hell are you doing? Did you wash your hands?" <Mango> I said "no, but I didnt piss on my hands so dont worry" <Mango> "doesnt matter" he says "your hands were still all over your dick" <Mango> "Who cares? My dick, along with my entire body, came out of YOUR dick" <Mango> So now we can't look eachother in the eyes anymore. #345144
(2312)<forceflow> hah, there are two quotes on bash rated 1337 <forceflow> that's awesome <ItlnStaln> You're going to be a virgin for life, you know that? #345535
(473)[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds.... [detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love big dicks :( [+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh? [detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :( #345591
(224)<Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a marriage <Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover <Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink #345974
(695)* Joins: HarryPott (Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net) <HarryPott> what is a proxy * Parts: HarryPott (Cool@adsl-67-66-94-237.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net) <Maritim> it is a thing that takes longer than 44 seconds to explain #346240
(1318)(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much (Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty