#309123 (597)
<dDG> Wait... what the hell
<dDG> There's this NASCAR all-star thing on
<dDG> and there is rap for background music
<dDG> NASCAR and rap music...
<wc16> rofl
<dDG> The terrorists have won
#309195 (1146)
dee: mute do you ever talk
mute: No, I never say a word.
dee: why
mute: I think you missed the joke there, dee.
dee: what do you mean
mute: ...nevermind.
#309198 (744)
«single_14yrold_male» any1 wanna cyber? im almost 16
#309208 (440)
<fetus> Hooters- "Chicken tastes better with a boner."
#309343 (1717)
<TheShadowHunter> I wish I wore an eyepatch
<TheShadowHunter> itd give me that air of mystery that the ladies find irresistible
<Saria> Ahahaha
<Saria> Wtf
<Saria> Yeah, eyepatches totally up teh sekz0r fact0r
<TheShadowHunter> psssh you say that now
<TheShadowHunter> but wait till youre milling around at a party
<TheShadowHunter> and all of a sudden the doors open and I walk in wearing a tux and an eyepatch
<TheShadowHunter> and people gasp
<TheShadowHunter> and an uncomfortable buzz fills the room as people try to return to their former joviality
<TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost that eye defending an orphanage from a killer!"
<TheShadowHunter> "I heard he lost it deep in the amazon!"
<TheShadowHunter> "Hes so mysterious!"
<TheShadowHunter> "So sexy!"
<TheShadowHunter> and all the ladies would want me
<TheShadowHunter> till I tell them I was running with silverware and stabbed myself in the eye with a fork
#309397 (13085)
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit
#309732 (1103)
* Inthesto can imagine this dialogue.
<Inthesto> "He's ill."
<Inthesto> "You mean he's dope?"
<Inthesto> "No, I mean he's sick."
<Inthesto> "So he's cool?"
<Inthesto> "NO I MEAN HE IS NOT PHYSICALLY WELL HE IS DISEASED"
<Inthesto> "oic"
#310023 (382)
<t-f-i> An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
<t-f-i> The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
<t-f-i> Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German." The group became silent.
#310216 (1531)
<Anime-Sama> While most people ask themselves "WWJD" (What Would Jesus Do), I've decided to turn to the more appropriate "WTGML," which is an acronym for "Will This Get Me Laid."
#310362 (892)
splibob: I think we have a conflict of interest
jenneh: what's that?
splibob: me not being interested in talking to you
#310380 (357)
<Rapala> i'm not sure if i'm supposed to go to work tonight
<Rapala> so i'm gonna sit here and see if they call
<DrunkOM> sounds like a plan
<Rapala> there are 2 others doing it as well, and the best way to be wrong is to be wrong in a group
<HFM> the best way to be wrong is to find out it's really not your kid..
#310385 (860)
<peebles> how about a new low CARB diet
<peebles> No Cheney
<peebles> No Ashcroft
<peebles> No Rumsfeld
<peebles> No Bush
<peebles> And forget about the Rice.
#310549 (243)
<james>once when I was at work at a cafe a man came in and ordered 3 'cappucini'
<morg>haha
<james>I asked him if he would like a biscotto to go with that
#310706 (532)
<SoberIRL> my gf is getting her tongue pierced soon :D
<Drewtetz> you can finally find out what it'll be like to have a rod and two balls in your mouth!
#311282 (862)
( l008com) Hey does anyone know how David Blaine levitates?
( LoganCale) There are two ways.
( LoganCale) One way he's on a cable and they digitally edit it out.
( l008com) no he's on ABC thats not cable
#311375 (2483)
<DigDug> ....
<ogw-iii> ...
<Denshuu> ..
<silicon> all excellent points
#311502 (1264)
<SvinX> whats the file in /etc that controls the profile?
<k> /etc/profile ?
<SvinX> .. i realise i didnt word that very well
<SvinX> yea could be it
<SvinX> thx
<shiftyphil> what's the tool you use to shovel dirt?
#314704 (1080)
<Knuckleskin> i know someone here who was sent to prison cos he had nunchucks in the boot of his car
<Swiss_Cheese> holy shit, over there ur cars have boots?!
<Swiss_Cheese> ours have wheels
#314712 (1353)
(@JH) you know you can get stuff engraved on an iPod? I was thinking about this..
(@JH) RIAA v. JH - Exhibit A
#314798 (1074)
<@Shai`tan> Know what the best part of pirated software is?
<@Shai`tan> the cool songs that play in the cracking programs
#314921 (299)
CianMTF: So... i was like on this site
CianMTF: "unprecedented computer recovery techniques!"
ShateredLifetime: "We use different hammers to find out which one makes it work"
#315042 (3390)
<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look
#315118 (637)
InaGreendase: he got arrested...
InaGreendase: for sexually harrassing himself..
InaGreendase: yes, himself.
InaGreendase: he was looking in a mirror or something and saying to himself
InaGreendase: "You're so sexy, you bitch...i wanna fuck you so bad...you'd look even hotter if those pants were tighter.."
InaGreendase: and that dorm's RD was watching the whole time
#315298 (586)
<Mr`Death> Hey Queued, know of an easy way to reduce speaker noise?
<Boinger69> turn down the volume?
#315336 (211)
Dave: I support R. Kelly.  I saw the video, and that bitch wanted it. The theory is, if the girl is walking in the mall without her parents.. like alone or just with friends... then she's ready to get some dick.
Banderon:  Dave, look!  Those 12 year olds don't have a parent with them! Go! Go!