#303011 (690)
<quik-silver> You know, life really IS like a box of chocolates
<quik-silver> A cheap, meaningless gift that noone ever asks for
#303093 (784)
<@LoungeServ> For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
#303256 (616)
gnabtuls: Ok, so I take this gay Children's Theater class, right?
ch405kn16h7: mhm
gnabtuls: and we have this one Jewish girl in there.
gnabtuls: So, one of the groups is doing "The Stinky Cheese Man"
gnabtuls: and she's playing The Stinky Cheese Man
gnabtuls: and the very first thing to happen in that play is they bake the stinky cheese man
gnabtuls: ala the one jew in my class gets put in an oven and baked
#303329 (735)
<[X]> What the fuck? Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple". What the fuck is it with celebrities naming their kids weird shit?
<Alex> I'm gonna name my kid Strawberries
<bobik-> Alex, you a dumbass
<Schwert> the kid will kill you ,Alex
<Alex> true :(
<[X]> It could be worse... when I was two or so, and living on an Air Force Base in Utah there was a family living on base whose last name was Cane. Their daughters were Sugar, Candy, and Nova.
#303362 (1558)
<Steve> Even "The Magic 8 Ball" is smart, and knows Microsoft Sucks. It says "Outlook Not Good."
#303435 (-28)
<TornSoul> what's the difference between a jewish woman and an airplane?
<TornSoul> airplane stops whining when it lands in miami beach
#303790 (1224)
<Flamon> women are like hurricanes. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car
#303797 (312)
<Zephyr> Isn't American cheese appropriately named? It's fake and processed, just like America.
#304168 (643)
<Justin> What's your sign, baby?
<The_Gevil> Yield
#304502 (2543)
<Kanush> it's funny, when I tell someone I'm an insomniac they almost always say "that's odd, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow" which is odd becuase I don't go around telling blind people "that's odd because I can see perfectly"
#304642 (1663)
<Jakosin> what is a .tar
<Rivicen> its used to patch .road files
#304653 (1448)
<Lurker> one time my mom fell asleep on the couch, no joke, I switched it to a porn and started fwappin it. I later found out she wasn't asleep
<Lurker> :(
<Dan> your kidding right?
<Lurker> no
#304709 (-37)
ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel?
ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him.
ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel.
ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.
#304790 (-3)
<phroze> i like the express shirt "Oh her? shes just a friend"
#304808 (693)
<CaRlOs``>: who r u ?
<sQuisha>: im squisha who r u
<CaRlOs``>: i would b Carlos...
<sQuisha>: k
<sQuisha>: glad we cleared that up
#304811 (287)
<mixedknut> drac killed the chats again
<mixedknut> bastard
<Dracon|s> bah
<Dracon|s> I was the only person other than you chatting
<Dracon|s> as if my terrible punning would drive people away
<GOD|away> <---
#304812 (1551)
<rockpapertaxi> so this guy comes to the door
<rockpapertaxi> a jehovah's witness
<rockpapertaxi> and he's like "can i interest you in the word of christ"
<rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "sorry i have to shut the door"
<rockpapertaxi> and the guy goes why?
<rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "our sacrificial goat will get out"
#304879 (937)
<NeoSmurf> So there I was waiting for my g/f, when I get a message from some chick wanting to cyber with me.
<Merry> yeah...
<NeoSmurf> I told her cybering is for losers and I didnt want to.
<NeoSmurf> So she tells me to tell her what to do with her pussy.
<NeoSmurf> I tell her to wash it, and she just quits talking.
<Merry> LMFAO!
#304885 (300)
<phx> 230-Welcome to Leadtek Research Inc.
<phx> 230-=^.^=
<phx> 230 Anonymous user logged in.
<phx> motherfucking anime smileys
<phx> theyre everywhere
<phx> i mean what is that?
<phx> a dogs head with a iron rod shoved thru its head?
<phx> i guess that explains it, its probably an asian delicacy
#304889 (655)
* SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming
<RavenBUSY> mister gamgee!
<SamGamgee> mister busy
<RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
<JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass
#304890 (303)
<Alex> Mosser!
<Alex> heh
<Alex> I've been there
<Alex> always the private bath though
<MrSmartass> Sounds like the Hotel Edison in NYC.
<grue> how did I read that as "pirate bath"?
<Alex> is there a fetish you're trying to repress?
<grue> Could be
<grue> I think the mental idea of Keira Knightley in a bathtub is what did it
<grue> "Avast, lass! Prepare to be boarded!"
#304891 (2255)
<lyfe> i just don't keep a fucking book with the names of all the girls who've had their dick in my mouth
#304898 (638)
xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy program?
linenoyz: no
xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil rights?
#304925 (296)
<OtherBill> omg.  It's the meditation mantra of the internet generation.
#305286 (1349)
<zzA> You know it's sad when the highlight if your day consists of calling this girl and checking the status of my quote on bash.org
<neon_stocking> i bet its even sadder when both of them reject you
<zzA> Not funny b/c it's true :(