#259421 (267)
<golgotha> wait, how did the Mexican Pledge of Allegiance go?
<ShadowRage> we pledge alliegiance to the border, of the united states of america
#259507 (1916)
<AJ> One of my best friends is Jewish.
<AJ> For state testing, our school gave us food, so we'd be awake and do well. Someone called it "concentration food".
<AJ> So my friend excitedly says "Concentration food? I haven't had this since camp!"
#259804 (1221)
<+Huitzil> PETA is starting a campaign stating that the secret ingredient in KFC chicken is "cruelty"
<+Huitzil> cruelty is apparently the most fucking delicious thing on Earth
<@Dracos> Yes.  It is.
<@Dracos> Which is why veal is the best food ever.
#259938 (-69)
<`michael> i just spilled pizza sauce on myself and i'm using bread as a napkin
#260037 (1080)
<Philth> WTF?
<Philth> new jenga 9/11 memorial twin pack
<Philth> comes with a little plane to push the blocks out
#260060 (1513)
<xNichG> anyone have a good way to visualize 3d vector fields and surfaces?
<Nap> LSD?
#260282 (2343)
<knightmare> _______ ___._._._
<GTEK> ?
<knightmare> /s_r__r 12_._._.1
<GTEK> dam i kno this
<knightmare> /ser_er 127._._.1
* Quits: GTEK (Quit)
* Quits: xfiles (Quit)
* Quits: Evolution (Quit)
#260294 (493)
<Antipop> Does it have a henway?
<Bew> What's a henway?
<Antipop> About 3 or 4 pounds
#260330 (1038)
<VOmitOry> I have a problem, every file i download gets corrupted, anyone know why? :o
<kn1ves> is your computer republican?
#260672 (815)
<@Aztorath> I got stuck in a playground slide today.
<@Aztorath> Literally WEDGED inside the tube.
<@Aztorath> We took my roomates kid to the park to play on the stuff. And my roomate tells me to go down backwards, lying on my back, headfirst.
<@Aztorath> It was one of those totally enclosed twisty tube slides.
* DreadWolf (~DreadWolf@DreadWolf.users.undernet.org) has joined #oldwarez
* Abaddon sets mode: +v DreadWolf
<@Aztorath> So I'm like, "Alright". I climb in, slide about halfway to the sharp curve, and his kid jumps in after me, HEADfirst. He slams into me and is lying on my legs, my head hits the top of the tube, and I just about bend entirely in half.
<@Aztorath> So now I'm literally wedged inside this hot, tiny, plastic tube, with an extra 60 lbs pressing on me, entirely stuck. Can't move. Kid can't go back up because his feet are out behind him, and I'm kissing my knees.
<@Aztorath> If I were ever close to giving myself a blowjob, today was that day.
#260690 (417)
*** Trel_Nadal is now known as ElmerFudd
[ElmerFudd] Shhhhhhhhh!!! Be vewwy vewwy quiet...I'm hunting wamers...Huhuhuhuh
[ElmerFudd] Wook!! a wascawy wamer!!!
[ElmerFudd] KaBoom!!!!!
*** ElmerFudd sets mode: +b *!*implyunix@*.libertysurf.co.uk
*** SimplyBSD|fuck was kicked by ElmerFudd (Oh! No! I killed the wamer!!!.)
*** ElmerFudd is now known as Trel_Nadal
#260706 (1057)
<iRiot-Vinin^Amped> !kb kicks and bans at same time
ChanServ sets mode: +b *!*@adsl-63-204-246-30.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net
<Arcanic> lmao
<Arcanic> dude
<Arcanic> you banned a guy named kicks
#260952 (1224)
<eminem_fan> they changed google!
<eminem_fan> i hate it, it's like new coke
<Blacgrass> wtf, you're like eleven, how do you know about new coke?
<eminem_fan> stfu blac, how u know I'm 11?
<Blacgrass> do a google search for "eminem fans"...
#261028 (1421)
<fo_eva_pimpin> WHITE POWER. FUK BLACK NIGGARS. IM FUKEN WHITE.
<xenogenesis> That's nice, dear.
<fo_eva_pimpin> SHUT UP YU STUPID BITCHHORE YO MOMMA CAN SUK MY COK
<xenogenesis>...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Do you see the injustice here? The accused claims to be of caucasian "pigment", if you will. However, whilst claiming to be of this race, he is attempting to sound "homie" or "black". An immediate contradiction.
<fo_eva_pimpin> FUK YU STUPID BITCH. IM FUKEN BLACK.
<xenogenesis> Opposition rests.
#261275 (173)
<Daxim> also, bersirc is broken
<Daxim> it must not add the angles to the link
<Daxim> I'll file a bug
<paranoid> I want to file a bug report to your fucking parents
#261282 (-86)
<Aital> which is the off possition on a PSU?
<Aital> Is it the line or the circle?
#261340 (1218)
<Astrum> bash.org script:
<Astrum> if( quote == funny )
<Astrum> reject();
<Astrum> else
<Astrum> reject();
<Astrum> I hear they're comming out with the bash.org script version 2
<Astrum> it's optimized:
<Astrum> reject();
#261501 (15008)
<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally
#261902 (431)
<Kazeuri> I feel like such a nerd
<Chris> Why?
<Kazeuri> I went to go call my girlfriend, and when I was thinking of the first numbers to dial, instead of 535, "HTTP" came to my head
#261931 (4362)
Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.
#262314 (2336)
<paRaLyX> what's long, hard and fucked two girls from my science class last week?
<Slax0r> omg...
<qwog> you didn't!
<paRaLyX> the mid-term physics exam :(
#262325 (369)
<Fril> "Flight delayed because psychic passenger had vision of a bomb" - turns out the inflight movie was "Gigli"
#262353 (14033)
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard
#262354 (702)
<[CD]Zinc|o_O> anyone know the name of tupac and biggy's new song ?
<[CwO]polarity> "We're Both Still Dead"
#262356 (204)
<polarity> your dreidel brings all the goys to the yard.