#262360
(830)(@kaleido) so i start the video clip (@Blaxthos) of that hottie we turned on on webcam the other night? (@kaleido) coworker walks in just as im closing it to send to the machine at home (@kaleido) "if you send it to me i wont say anything" #262392
(293)<BenLMB> i'm waiting for niggabyte hard drives...so i can use it as a slave drive. #262417
(11116)<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit <foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die <foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?" <foniks`> whatd u think they'd say? <FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate" #262451
(989)Buffman0250: i went to sam's club intending to buy contact lenses Buffman0250: i left with peanuts cookies and slim jims scr0t4r: is it because you couldn't tell the difference Buffman0250: well i didn't have any contacts scr0t4r: hmm i see Buffman0250: youd be surprised how similar they look scr0t4r: have you ever had a slim jim in your eye? Buffman0250: twice scr0t4r: you strike me as that type of person Buffman0250: the second time it wasn't an accident #262518
(1291)<Timid-> MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP * Shockla has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * rooties-w has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * Mr_Hahn has quit IRC (*.net *.split) * rup\tek has quit IRC (*.net *.split) <wandarah> holy shit. <wandarah> truly your meep is a powerful weapon. #262521
(563)<@spr|efnex> last day of highschool <@spr|efnex> im going to take 2 or 3 viagra, go up to every girl that rejected me, point at my pants and say "LOOK WHAT YOU MISSED, BITCH" #262679
(134)<FQ|Dawg> ok so i was messing with one of my schools video cameras <FQ|Dawg> and i recorded my dick, and i cant erase it off the tape <FQ|Dawg> what should i do <%CLV> tell them you were doing a study on the effects of amateur porn on modern society #262986
(1107)<@God> keyweed, hah. i hate speaking in public :P < keyweed> God: that explains the past 2000 years. #263029
(375)<jeff> if the butterfly effect isn't the best worst movie ever, i don't know what is <Calisa> Rotten Tomatoes has one review listed and it says, "Hitchcock would be proud." <jeff> proud to know he had nothing to do with that film #263079
(695)<nutkase> i need to schedule an eye exam <nutkase> with a different doctor who wont cuss me out and tell me i need ritalin <hateful> lol, did you jump when he was putting in the drops? <nutkase> no <nutkase> but when he was asking me which one was better number 1 or number 2 i was like how come there numbered and i only get 2 options <nutkase> and then he was telling me to read the lines, and he had the radio on in the background and i was asking him to turn it up cause i liked that song <nutkase> finally he said god damn it can you pay attention so we can get this over with and i responded with sorry i wasnt paying attention <hateful> lol <nutkase> and he proceeded to tell me i needed ritalin #263081
(1061)[17:21:17] * Joins: jesus (~jirc@167.206.250202.456309) [17:21:27] * Parts: jesus (~jirc@167.206.250202.456309) <The_Defiance> ... o_O <The_Defiance> So that was the second coming eh <The_Defiance> short lived #263967
(1851)<mcsim02> you know...one day the word pron is actually going to replace the word porn for good...and then in the year 2055 some internet geek is gonna think hes really funny by calling it 'porn' instead of 'pron'...and it will be a horrible horrible cycle #264226
(1257)<zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is <zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once' #264334
(833)<Hiyasu> I just called my manager, and told them I couldn't come in, because I'd just contracted leprosy. <Hiyasu> The odd thing was, for about 10 seconds, she believed me. <SePPach> lol <SePPach> what did she say? <newjersey> "I thought I fired you two weeks ago" #264954
(950)<mbg> if a paintballgun doesnt kill people, and is thus called a marker <mbg> so is a regular handgun a permanent marker? #265013
(1667)<Geno> Dude... <Geno> I was wearing my All Your Base shirt...and someone pointed out the craziest thing <Geno> "Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb", when read Backwards, is "Bomb the US (united states) Up Set (upset) Somebody" #265024
(854)<Ikaruwa> if i ever had to fire someone, i would do it scavenger hunt style. you know, give them a piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and then when they figure out the riddle, itd point them towards the next piece of paper with a riddle on it... <Ikaruwa> and keep doing that until theyve collected all their things and walked out the door. after which, theyd find a piece of paper under a rock that said "youre fired." #265090
(400)<Ck3> know whats pedophile's favorite chord? <Ck3> A minor #265526
(1489)<Asha`monkey> One time I was watching porn for like twenty minutes. When I was finished, I took off my headphones and found the sound blaring out of my regular speakers as well. <Asha`monkey> My mom told me to turn it down. #265529
(1499)<grl_05>hi guys <integrating> hey baby, i wish i were your derivative because then i'd be tangent to all your curves <FifthElement> i wish i were your integral because then i'd be the area under all your curves #265532
(6782)<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic. <Sabdo> and it typed out "France" <Sabdo> we were like, wtf? #265781
(664)Belmat: When I was working at the old college, I had the bursar phone me up and say "my internet isn't working" Belmat: So I went down to have a look, and she had IE open, and was typing "internet" in the address bar #265968
(3887)<tom_0369> man <tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington <tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as fuck <tom_0369> it was depressing <sammich> when was this? <tom_0369> flight simluator 2004 #266014
(803)<Tso-JA> I love food... which is why my 6 pack is covered with a good 2 inches of flub <Targeter> you're not fat you simply have "stealth abs" #266250
(743)Pika98765: then stick it in the center and it won't be so ugly :p Amarok: ... Amarok: My father just woke up screaming "Suck my scrotum you cocksucking chink whores."