#203024 (569)
<j0n> Let me tell you about the first time I ever made love to a girl. We were out in a little meadow/park kind of thing, and we laid down on the blanket, and afterwards we both just lay there staying into each other's eyes. Neither of us said anything, it was kind of creeping me out. Then finally she looks to me and she says, "Baaaaaaa."
#203096 (177)
<Beska> Look at these tom:
<Beska> SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
<Beska> FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
<Beska> ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling
<Beska> lo
<Tommy> wtf.. rotf
<Beska> SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
<Beska> FAULT: The Bar is closing.
<Beska> ACTION: Panic.
<Tommy> O.o
#203220 (514)
<@Butcher90210> lesbian porn is gods way of telling man "you fucked up but i still love you"
#203226 (394)
<Kalium> "Home is where the bandwidth is."
<Milkdud> lol
<Kalium> Someday, I'll have that line on my doormat
#203247 (7229)
<@maddox> FUCK!
<@maddox> my mom just found my website
<+DMTec> isn't she proud?
<+khoveraki> ha
<@naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews
<@naken> and you didn't tell your mother?
<@maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a penis."  "No mom, I didn't draw a penis"
<+DMTec> ROFL
<+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good
<@maddox> now she's crying
<RichK> haha, your mom doesn't know about your website?
<@maddox> (on the phone)
<+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a penis"-greeting card?
<@maddox> dmtec: oh fuck, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I did draw a penis.
<RichK> bahahahaha
<@maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died and not raised you"
<+khoveraki> rofl
<@maddox> she hung up
<RichK> You are dispwned maddox
#203250 (71)
<spider> sigh, i gotta go find my alcholic truck again, bbl
<FRiZzO> oh yeah she didn't come home with you last night?
<spider> negative
#203288 (1139)
<shortyz> call your isp
<shortyz> god help whoever has to help your sorry ass
<bette> how do i call internet explorer?
#203333 (268)
<Masoumi> guys do you know what 133t means?
<Zandog> ít mëâñ§ í'££ fµ¢kíñg hâ¢k ÿøµ® ß®âíñ§
#203417 (1067)
<FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with information, compared to when it was empty. <FirebirdGM> The guy that was on the phone told me that it was only a few pounds difference.
<FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.
#203571 (529)
FFVI: I once told a friend to shoot me if I ever passed 3000 posts on AT. Total Posts Made - 8000...wow :/
arctic pirate: you once had a friend?
FFVI: One. But then his parents got a restraining order when I showed up for his kindergarten graduation.
#203786 (837)
< DiEsElBoY-DnB> i gotta a pretty hot woman, she cooks and cleans for me too
<@Scruffypoo> DiEsElBoY-DnB: and every night you kiss her before she tucks you in, cause you love your mommy
#203815 (6124)
<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
#203911 (1075)
<DrBacchus> fajita: RFC 2795
<fajita> DrBacchus: excuse me?
<DrBacchus> fajita: You're supposed to give me a link.
<fajita> DrBacchus: i'm not following you...
<DrBacchus> dumb bot
<fajita> Stupid human
#204086 (624)
<PitChic> did you all see about that 97 year old woman who was found alive in the rubble of the earthquake in Iran, after 8 days burried?
<Marcus``> that's fucked up
<Marcus``> old people are like indestructible, as long as they don't don't fall down and break their hip
<Marcus``> help! i've fallen and I can't get up!
<Marcus``> and a house is on me!
#204164 (238)
<InuYasha> Rabies isn't an STD is it?
<Ronald_MacK> It is if it's oral sex.
#204180 (663)
<Xenocide> i brought a dvd for a teacher
<Dodge2k1> huzzah!
<Xenocide> and i have 2 differnt things named EVA on it
<Xenocide> iatneh and regular
<Dodge2k1> lol
<Xenocide> :( i was supposed to bring the regular
<Xenocide> but i brought the iatneh on accident
<jasonn02> PRON?
<Xenocide> It was about to start on the projector
<Xenocide> but then i saw the label on the dvd
<Dodge2k1> omfg
<jasonn02> IT WAS PR0n?!?!
<Xenocide> and jumped over and pressed eject before it could start
<Xenocide> YES
<jasonn02> LOLOL
<jasonn02> ROFLMAO
<Xenocide> ALMOST PROJECTED ON A HUGE FUCKING SCREEN
<jasonn02> NEET
<Kabuki_Dude> OMG
<Xenocide> i almost had a heart attack
#204205 (136)
« lgcbmb » on topic question; where can i get more old man porn?
#204222 (482)
* trib has just *almost* burned his flat to the ground
<bobstay> wow
<bobstay> how did you manage that?
<bobstay> the ground's quite a way away
<trib> I put a big lump of meat int he oven and roasted it
<trib> and used the smoke detector as a timer
#204225 (308)
* jane masturbates
< applemacdude> god
< jane> YES!
< jane> found it
#204240 (611)
<Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains
<Wallaroo> ?
<Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end up playing with them anyway.
<Placebo> hahahahaha
<Placebo> ROFL
#204248 (2071)
< tcowher> personally I'm annoyed that they can get 11KBps from mars but can't get me a stable 5KBps over 17 miles.
#204432 (838)
<Ruth> hmmm first thing to do when one gets home is .... check spam for emails
#204672 (342)
<@Karnaugh> amazing, Cat5 seems reletivly imune to cellphone radiation
<@Pandaemon> Karnaugh: you're going to start wearing a Cat5 turban, aren't you?
<@Karnaugh> Pandaemon: Thats what all the arabian hackers wear these days
#205195 (7520)
<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!
#205221 (480)
<Eglin> yuck.... didn't think that asking about a c# like static string method would start a stinking flame war.
<pedantic> Eglin: you are new to irc aren't you