#193777 (127)
<[HCC]Freeman> Yiff is another way of saying fuck? Awesome.
<Cel> ....uh huh.
<Mage[CS]> "I want to yiff you like an animal..."
#193779 (754)
<ducklord> You may think I'm retarded, but I actually know some things
<ducklord> Like the square root of my telephone number
#193820 (464)
ashgromnies: Let's play some Oregon Trail
technocloak: I've never played that game since fourth grade . . . the character I named after myself DIED on my birthday.
#193892 (1459)
<ascian> why do you guys need a car?
<Odat> cause people look at you funny when you run down the highway making vroom noises with your mouth
#194098 (358)
hottieanda69er69: i was like haveing a hudge organism in the shower
#194117 (209)
<Mike> WTF
<Mike> MY TOASTER IS ON FUCKING FIRE
<Mike> BRB
#194253 (758)
<chanman3> does irc stay open on christmas
#194258 (615)
<Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children."
<Manboy> hahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH
<Manboy> (sobbing)
<Thom`Manson> hahahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH!!!
<Thom`Manson> hahaha
#194401 (396)
<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in the 80's
#194561 (689)
<Bota> well, either my balls smell like propane, or my propane smells like balls : either way i think we have a problem
#194628 (796)
<[SA]Mastiff> No.  You are underage, and should not drink.
<[SA]Mastiff> Go back to playing with Legos.
<MaryFuckingPoppins> I don't have any Legos =(
<Rigel> Fuck you Mastiff, Legos kick ass
<Rigel> I set them up as the OPFOR while playing with my Moses Action Figure and army men
<Rigel> The Legos lost because moses had the Ark of the Convenant
<Rigel> And just like in the Bible it shot lightning and stuff.
<Rigel> And then the Army Men put the legos in a concentration camp and that was the end of the Third Reich
<Rigel> And THEN Moses beat hitlers face in with the Ten Commandments
<Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Be a Faggotyass Dictator"
<Rigel> "Thou Shalt Not Raise the Undead"
<Rigel> "Thou Shalt not put foxy agents in skintight leather and give them silenced Sten guns"
<Rigel> And then back into the Time Portal he jumped, taking the army men with him!
<Rigel> I should film this shit
#194647 (2325)
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> holy
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fucking
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> what?
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dudes
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> if any of you have rats in the house
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> WASH YOUR FUCKING WANK RAGS REGULARLY
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> ...
<[dSx]awpMAN> wtf?
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> you're kidding, right?
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dude
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i am fucking serious
<[dSx]awpMAN> not all of us have wank rags, dumbass
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> so i had this wank rag i forgot about and left in a corner of the room under some shit right
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i find it today and it has FUCKING HOLES IN IT RIGHT AT THE STAINS
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> and there's RAT SHIT ALL OVER IT
<[dSx]tiMeCop> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
<[dSx]awpMAN> idiot, hahahahahahahaha
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fuck
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i'm going to have trouble sleeping now that i know that SOME FUCKING RAT IN MY HOUSE ATE MY SEMEN
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> dude
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> yea
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> i love you
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> i really do
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> but it would be a crime not to submit this to bash
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> NO WAIT FUCK
#194678 (1051)
<Lafarga> bada: I'm throwing peanuts at your head at this moment.
<bada> funny, I dont feel them
<Lafarga> bada: That's because you're thousands of miles away, across the internet, so my peanuts are bouncing off my monitor instead.
#194770 (131)
* Spin2 has quit IRC (Quit: On the roof of the Church of the Future, Malgaard gets the amulet. His powers are increased by a factor of nothing. Plus wearing the amulet around his neck makes him look like a gay disco dancer.)
#194777 (1185)
<MaoistBanker> The Olsen Twins Announce Where They Will Go To College.............
<MaoistBanker> NEW YORK UNIVERSITY, You can bet they will be getting a torrent of applications for the summer and fall semesters.
<WhatTheChrist> lol remember last time new york had a set of twins
<Smackbilly> Yeah, they went down on a lot of people.
#194887 (923)
<Shanaynay> HEY FAGS
<oval> Shanaynay, how in the HELL are you gonna say "hey fags" when your nick is Shanaynay? ;)
<Shanaynay> OH NO YOU DIDN'T
<Shanaynay> I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST DIS THE NAME MY MOMMA GAVE ME
#194906 (386)
<sincere> there was a huge protest here
<sincere> i walked out into the middle of it
<sincere> i was like
<sincere> get away hippies
<sincere> im only trying to get to the liquor store
#195132 (623)
<Eck> British Prime Minister: I hope this can signal a reconciliation and a unity of the Iraqi people meaning freedom and hope for the people against whom the atrocities have been committed etc.
<Eck> American Guy: WE GOT HIM! YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
#195212 (944)
Daniel: heh i met this chick online who had laser eye surgery today, she lives in California
Nick: and?
Daniel: and there was also an earthquake in california today
#195649 (656)
* |BEER| is AFK, i'm just a bot...day in and day out all i do is serve you....thats it!!!! I QUIT!!! TELL CB TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW BOT!!!! —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—
* |BEER| has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<dr_binks> damn the bot just became self aware
#195964 (354)
<Shaft> this is nice, customer calls in and opens a troubleticket, hes been suspended for non pay and his CC declined. Only way to turn abck on is by certified funds
<Shaft> heres the kicker
<Shaft> They are a collection agency
#195969 (2057)
<TXTerron> wanna know whats geeky?
<Jennifer> hmm?
<TXTerron> I'm driving down the road
<Jennifer> I drove down the road today too...
<Jennifer> Wait, You mean you're on irc in your truck?
<TXTerron> yeah, using my wireless card
<Jennifer> ^___^
<Jennifer> Jason, is that safe?
<TXTerron> na, i just type with one hand while I'm driving and halfway watch the road, its cool, dont worry
<Jennifer> You're good with typing with one hand?
<TXTerron> shaddup :D
<TXTerron> FUCK
<TXTerron> i just rear ended a lady
<TXTerron> brb :(
#196025 (-948)
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US
#196154 (2058)
<APingLDer> So how did it go with that cheerleader from down the street that wanted to seduce you?
<naeblis15> Well, I was going to go along, but at the last minute, I had one of those 'Grinch' moments, when my heart went up past my level, and Satan's and Stalin's and Hitler's and a few more levels, to where it was something like normal, and I decided that I should wait until I could have a meaningful relationship, not just casual sex with someone infinitely more popular and beautiful than I am.
<APingLDer>...
<APingLDer>...
<APingLDer>And where was your brain at this point?
<naeblis15>I don't know, but when he gets back he is so fucking grounded
#196258 (1443)
<MakoClause> shit
<MakoClause> i am so dead
<MakoClause> there is this huge dent in our christmas ham
<MakoClause> where i decided to liberate some of it for a sandwhich
<MakoClause> but i liberated too much
<Zappy-Holidays> dude
<Zappy-Holidays> ham raeper
<Zappy-Holidays> where are your morals
<Zappy-Holidays> I know why you really carved out a little bit
<Zappy-Holidays> *nudge* *nudge*
<Zappy-Holidays> *wink* *wink*
<MakoClause> dude
<MakoClause> i didn't fuck the ham
<Zappy-Holidays> U FUCKED THE HAM
<Zappy-Holidays> HAM FUCKER
<MakoClause> I DID NOT FUCK THE HAM!
<Zappy-Holidays> UR FAMILY WILL EAT YOUR SEAMEN