#192619 (701)
<cayde> It's getting harder to get a summer job these days
<tam> cayde: maybe cos it is winter?
#192741 (934)
<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: And with the clicking, came the ticking, of the page that was no more
<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: Quoth the server, 404
#192769 (305)
<xa-mua> i think i'll go rent seabiscuit
<reboot> you leave my wife alone
#192834 (384)
<Min1ster> I have been captured My Regime has fallen and my sons are dead. But I have some good news..... I just saved hundreds on my car insurance by switching to Geico
#192848 (900)
<DthPool> Im trying to milk myself
<DthPool> its not working
<DthPool> my nipples hurt
<TranceDude88> say  hello to bash.org
#192857 (303)
<Yurijin> HOLY CRAP
<Yurijin> i was playing a song
<SoSul> hellos
<Yurijin> and forgot i left some porn video in the play list
<Yurijin> and all of a sudden
<Drayth> ROFL
<MonopolyMan> XD.
<Yurijin> "AHHHH <music ends>" "OHH OHH OH <slobber> OHHH"
#192888 (1459)
<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?
#192957 (280)
<darklink570> tubgirl is like the luigi to goatse's mario
#192961 (286)
<[RIT]Vyper> RIT women are like parking spaces. They're either taken or handicapped.
#193061 (595)
<drew> um..quick..does anybody remember how to make a cat vomit?
#193137 (49)
<I_D> what's this I hear about you and the arab army?
<bugkiller> I_D: nha.. but the Israeli defense army didnt accept me to intellegence devision for some fucked up reason
<[-Locky-]> get on one of your jockey camels
<[-Locky-]> and haul ass over here
<I_D> he can't locky
<I_D> that's a military vehicle over there
#193180 (259)
<drakin> 6666666666666op''''''
<drakin> sorry, turn my back and a kitty sits on the keyboard..
<Stokesy> fuck you all you fucking fuckers
<Stokesy> sorry, that was my parrot
<drakin> isnt it spelt torrettes..
#193186 (438)
<ld>: my parents got really pissed at me for my grades
<leet eskimo>: sux to be you
<ld>: but i ownd their faces off
<leet eskimo>: how
<ld>: well "i cant belive you have a 50 in gym"  "it's ok, i had subway for lunch"
#193198 (776)
<@Infinik> Do you think the Matrix ever gets netsplits?
<warpunk> Sure.
<@Infinik> Quits: Trinity (smith.matrix.com jackson.matrix.com)
<@Infinik> Quits: Morpheus (Quit: Observe the powers of the red pill, bitch)
<@Infinik> Smith has been kicked by Neo (Cloner) (-M-a-t-r-i-x-)
<warpunk> Heh.
<Swanky-Tuna> Why would you take a pill from a bald black man in the middle of nowhere?
<warpunk> Cuz I paid for 'em!
<Swanky-Tuna> there was a flash about that
<Swanky-Tuna> everybody started smiling as he was passing out
<warpunk> All your matrix are belong to us.
<Swanky-Tuna> and trinity was just a crossdresser
<@Infinik> Haha
<Infinik> "The Trinity?" "The Trinity who hacked the IRS d-base?" "That was a long time ago." "I thought you were a guy." "That was a long time ago too."
#193247 (403)
<[K]orangeboy> nah, i live in wales, which is like the dirty retarded cousin that lives chained in the basement of the uk
#193314 (437)
<Jonathan> anyone here seen the movie pi?
<Yesenia> yea, I saw it 3.14 times.
#193322 (808)
<Fox_Jenny> alan, please dont wear socks tonight
<Borlath_Mon> Yeah. Use a condom, you cheap fucker
#193342 (38)
<Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie
<Godsey> Humping Dumpty
<_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while you sat your ass and watched him
<Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't satisfy Dumpty again
<mannyh> haha
#193399 (269)
<SumGeye> I met God once.
<Bern> Ok...
<SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like whiskey.
#193438 (236)
<Lemmih> a_shadow: You could start rollerskating. That was how I meet my first girlfriend.
<Sonarman> or you could just masturbate to porn
#193439 (134)
<Chocoboko> I wonder what things would have been like had Square stuck with Nintendo.
<DragonFogel> I doubt we'd see FFT. =P
<Soulcleaver> Imagine FF7- with all the "objectionable" and "offensive" material removed.
<Indogutsu> <Barret> You Shinra are the vermin, robbing the Planet of its dreams! And that makes you King Vermin! So hush your mouth, you... you... jackaninny!
#193460 (567)
youatemypancreas: Dammit.
youatemypancreas: Diablo won't work. it keeps minimizing itself. >_<
Areku: *pats.*
Areku: Oh hey. I've got a great plan.
youatemypancreas: Oh?
Areku: I'm going to set up a murder. And just before I murder the person, I'm going to ask. "Are you scared?" And when they say yes, I'll reply "You shouldn't be, you're on Scare tactics!" Then when they're all happy, and relieved they're not going to die.. I'll stab 'em good.
#193571 (435)
<OwnerDemon> Subliminal (kill) messaging (your) is (parents) awesome!
#193625 (277)
* Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles.
* Lee dies.
<Tash> Shit.
<Tash> Its Rape 'o clock.
<Kyle> ..
<Kyle> What?
<Tash> Oh wait.
<Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.
#193646 (2481)
<Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.