#174725 (224)
<MST3Claye> there's a site out there that shows people beating super monkey ball levels really really fast.
<Merlin> I plan on setting a new world speed record for Monopoly one of these days...
<Merlin> It's called we sit down, setup the game, I pull a gun and go "look bitches, give me all your money and nobody gets hurt!"
<Merlin> then I take the thimble hostage at the Water Works and force everyone to surrender to me, then I win the game.
<Merlin> I figure my friends suck so much, I could win it in about 30 seconds with that strategy.
#174774 (169)
<Calvinosaur> I'm going to ethnically cleanse script kiddies. I'll call it "The Final Solution to the j00ish Problem."
#174916 (818)
<Gecko> lmao, my mates download of "master and commander" is infact "anal agency"
<EmPleh> lol
<Gecko> wait a minute
<Gecko> this isn't a real agency at all
<Gecko> they're just having sex
<Gecko> i'm suprised this lot ever get any work done
#174943 (487)
<elitotaco> hmm
<elitotaco> this is a new one
<elitotaco> "GROW 3 INCHES                  OF CHEST HAIR"
#174967 (1585)
<Morj|YeozWins> I was once driving along the freeway,and a friend through some garbage out the window, and this lady ran over it
<Morj|YeozWins> So she started chasing us
<Morj|YeozWins> So I started going like 150-180 km/h down the freeway to get away, and she followed me
<Morj|YeozWins> So I eventualyl pulled over, and she gets out of her car and runs up and goes "WHAT THE HELL, WHY WERE YOU DRIVING SO FAST YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE, I HAVE A BABY IN THE CAR YOU KNOW"
#175049 (179)
HolaScumbag: GUESS WHAT.
qwerty8447: ?
HolaScumbag: my mom bought me a pen...shaped as A DOG!!!
qwerty8447: LMAO!
qwerty8447: that must be AWESOME!
HolaScumbag: I KNOW!
qwerty8447: which end do you write with?
#175183 (-255)
<zhirinovsky> do you know why old women don't get sex? have you ever tried to peel apart grilled cheese sandwich?
#175605 (346)
<DB7> Meat_30: Sex change?
<Meat_30> yep
<DB7> Works for me
<DB7> Any hole's a goat
<DB7> errr
<DB7> goal*
#175675 (1127)
<nirgleNap> lol, i just put on Najma as i'm sitting here wiring up a circuit board
<nirgleNap> i realized how "odd" this might look.. having arab music playing as i'm soldering red and green wires to a board full of ICs
#175695 (843)
<riffic> its the year 3030
<Mindless> 3030? Shit I'm late for work
#175862 (587)
<buggler> nataria you sex machine
<Nataria> buggler im not a sex machine...
<buggler> you're not? prove you're not
<PubiclyRelated> ;p; yeh
<PubiclyRelated> prove it lol
<Nataria> roflmao
<Nataria> how can i be a sex machine if i havent had sex? O:D
<Nataria> ha i winnnn :D
<buggler> it's like having a cooking machine that hasn't been used, doesn't make it any less a machine
<Nataria> rofl
<buggler> you don't win, you lose. My rebuttal is second to none
<Nataria> so im a sex machine waiting to be turned on?
#175886 (412)
<sFa-Stryder`mp5> im fucking 96% iq.
#176068 (231)
<sekira> it was like 4 PM and my friends grandma msg'd him on aim
<sekira> and she asked if he was still busy doing his homework.
<sekira> I was really bored, so I went on his comp and said "wtf?" and she replied: "wait til five?"
#176076 (704)
<Rentasmo> there was a gay guy at a support group I went to who brought a dog in a bag
<Rentasmo> we didn't know he had a dog till he let it out
<Capnplank> did he bring enough for everyone?
<MrConceited> He was gay, not korean
#176156 (600)
<Ettin> Still, I thought the war would be over by now.
<Ettin> No country has an infinite supply of suicide bombers.
#176169 (612)
<Sarah> the first Matrix was damn nice for an action movie. for an action movie.
<Odin> Corny as hell endings.
<Johnny> Yes.
<Odin> Someone dies. Hell, let's bring 'em back to life with a kiss, it works in Disney flicks!
<Sarah> Neo kisses Smith?
<Sarah> thanks for spoiling it for me, asstart.
#176176 (839)
<Jesus> and i kept getting banned simply becuase i lived in france
#176261 (955)
<crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever
<Invictus> ?
<TheBlackCupid> ...
<ShadesFox> oh?
<Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly?
<Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay....
<crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM
#176311 (233)
<Hatamoto> IRC is like one giant round of intellectual bukake ;)
#176477 (169)
<Ninja_Cow> I view anal sex like eating cake with your anus.
<Ninja_Cow> It doesn't serve a purpose and it looks disgusting.
#176616 (68)
<Esper> And last I checked... IRC is multiplayer notepad... being naked really doesn't matter unless you're REALLY good with ASCII art.
#176622 (406)
<n00dle> What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
<n00dle> Both involve 30-year-old meat in between two nine-year-old buns.
#176783 (1518)
<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i feel a cold chill running down my legs...
#176966 (407)
Lckyduck322 : bitch, what the fuck do you want
theonejanitor : how are you
Lckyduck322 : i'm great and you
#177171 (-24)
<uber> O_O
<uber> chill out aj
<AJ2> uber: eat shit
<AJ2> wait, you're asian...you might make a movie out of it :