QDB — Browse Quotes

#172510 (545)

<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
<BChikapa> You'd have to chase it around.

#172721 (733)

[Buddha] wasn't Microsoft giving a bounty for hackers?
[Buddha] *catching hackers
<@AkamuTheInept> Ya, a free copy of '98
[Buddha] ...
[Buddha] >_<
<@Hallucination> lol
[Buddha] That's like giving out land mines for helping the poor

#172760 (659)

<frostyburn> damn it, there needs to be an auto-formatting script in word that will automatically change all margins to 1.10 inches, spacing to 2.10, font size to 12.5, and intermittently paste quotes from no name fuck faces... because i'm getting tired of turning a 3 page paper into a 4 page paper all by myself

#172839 (253)

(bannsheebot): I was so distracted by this banner ad, I typed my login password into the url field.
(Ntruder): hah
(bannsheebot): it shows this little kid smacking his forehead, and the word "College" next to him.
(Ntruder): someone somewhere deserves a marketing award

#172869 (3243)

* veganzombie has joined #uc
<veganzombie> Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
* veganzombie has quit IRC (Quit: Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....)

#173334 (841)

<y2kThug> i worked with a pretty dumb old broad when I was in Stoneham
<y2kThug> she was getting all frustrated one day
<y2kThug> comes to me "I cant print."
<y2kThug> i stare blankly, "Why not?"
<y2kThug> "I dont know, it just wont print!"
<y2kThug> so i said "Maybe it's because you're standing at the fax machine, not the printer."
<Darshu> nate- lol
<y2kThug> oh and then one day her desk phone died
<y2kThug> someone told her to take a phone off of one of the empty desks
<y2kThug> she says "But what about all my voicemails?"
<y2kThug> shaking my head, "Jeanne, your voicemails arent _IN_ your phone."
<Snow> Eh, that's not too dumb. I mean, people interact with answering machines where things are stored in the physical device itself.
<Snow> A distributed phone system is a bit foreign the first time you see one.
<y2kThug> Snow: she fucking sells telecom

#173416 (414)

(Freddo) wasnt tetris supposed to be a statement about the futility of a capitalist government
(Freddo) ?
(jayseven) O_o
(jayseven) dude
(jayseven) it was just a game
(jayseven) :P
(Freddo) yeah but it was coded by a red :P
(jayseven) you mean.. the blocks symbolise the commies?
(Freddo) i think the blocks symbolise money
(Dom^TopSpin) O_O
(Freddo) or maybe debts
(Dom^TopSpin) lol
(pdhq64) make a row of money, and it disappears?
(Freddo) something like that
(Freddo) its an important message to the children of today :P
(jayseven) maybe it's the publics efforts to banish their tyrant
(jayseven) the more of them that attempt to reach the top, the more likely they'll make a line and.. er.. dissapear

#173422 (606)

<zidane> hackquest.de is encrpyted!
<alucardo> german isn't an encryption method
<ps> the infamous "DE" Cypher

#173426 (238)

<@gloriaea> this is how wars start
<@gloriaea> someone puts up a swedish pop poster and a german blames it on a finn

#173451 (1519)

<theclubhousebarandgrillgod> i have a ????? who is the admin here
<Kyle> You have a horse?
<jeff> I'd like to buy a vowel.

#173460 (2722)

<Pixistix> I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
<Pixistix> If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
<Pixistix> Problem solved.

#173504 (789)

*** PoisonPen changes topic to 'Matrix Revolutions: Smith: "I R teh Ubermensch! U R 0wn3d w/ my awesome Will!" Neo: "No! Because I will refute teh diabilical existential angst w/ kung fu!" Smith: "Argh! Now I must stand in the rain and shake my fist at you! Why? Why?" Neo: "Ha ha! I win by losing! I R teh Jesus!" The end.'

#173563 (422)

<@Black_Dog> ryo: if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep?
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: damn straight i would
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: or the farmer's daughter

#173664 (400)

<@minion> i think abortion is a time travelling alien's plot to stop us from advancing
<@NrK> no
<@NrK> conservitives are

#173682 (275)

marek: hey, this is great. we finally have our own chatroom on irc.
marek: now we can be on bash with our amazingly witty retorts, counter retorts, and general repartee!
Palladia: fag

#173708 (1391)

<cdowdsux> So my friend was telling me about how he tried to commit suicide by taking 20 Advil...so I was just like.. "Dude, why take 20 Advil when you could have just taken 3 Aleve?"

#173795 (448)

<@NapKiN> ANYONE KNOW PERL
<@NapKiN> ?
<dez> yeah
<dez> cant remember what porno she was in tho

#173846 (50)

<rivan> why
<rivan> does
<rivan> my
<rivan> heart
<rivan> cry?
<NippleHead> dunno
<NippleHead> but sounds serious

#173862 (537)

#173927 (327)

<treke|laptop> wtf is terrier_explosion
<hendersa> An exploding terrier.
<hendersa> Geez. I though the filename was self explanatory.

#174498 (151)

<cryme> that would own
<cryme> to jack off of the empire state
<cryme> and see who gets killed by your cumshot

#174510 (1254)

<FuManChu> And now, FuManChu presents another segment of "Things I Learned In College:
<FuManChu> I learned today that if you have sex with your girlfriend's younger sister, you will have a fight in the middle of the campus center, regardless of what you try to say.

#174539 (598)

* Calylinde straps on strap-on-dildo, dry humps up to chanserv
<Calylinde> hahah
<Calylinde> come on, channy
<Calylinde> bend over!
<Calylinde> gimmme the O!
<Calylinde> Chanserv
<Calylinde> you whore
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Calylinde
<@Calylinde> Hahahahahahah

#174668 (384)

* Fred (myEmail@..........net) Quit (Warning: Mirc, has caused an illegal operation and will shut down. This happened because you were about to Finish a download you were waiting on for a month, and we can't have that.)

#174675 (509)

<Shuka> Our band conductor lady is this really scary black lady
<Shuka> and she's like, "Y'gotta have spirit blood"
<Shuka> and then like one time
<Shuka> She's like, "Yknow, don't tell your parents this, but you guys sound like fucking shit"
<Shuka> and we were like o_O