#151284 (532)
<Bob_Haut> Don't call them Broads
<Bob_Haut> Bitches HATE that!
#151295 (254)
<endura> winme is like wrapping ur penis in pink saran wrap and dipping it in melted crayons, then in a freezer and shattering it with a brick
#151296 (1248)
<mystican> my sister gave me some socks and they say on them "too much wiggling of your joystick makes your eyes go funny"
<endura> myst u should use those socks as wank socks
<endura> then when they are orange make ur sister wash them
<DooMWiz> orange??
#151697 (716)
<arteh|ZzZz> lolly! @ 70s porn site
<Squid0x> I REALLY hope you mean the 1970s
#151861 (8081)
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE
#152037 (3490)
<dm> I discovered that you'd never get an answer to a problem from Linux Gurus by asking. You have to troll in order for someone to help you with a Linux problem.
<dm> For example, I didn't know how to find files by contents and the man pages were way too confusing. What did I do? I knew from experience that if I just asked, I'd be told to read the man pages even though it was too hard for me.
<dm> Instead, I did what works. Trolling. By stating that Linux sucked because it was so hard to find a file compared to Windows, I got every self-described Linux Guru around the world coming to my aid. They gave me examples after examples of different ways to do it. All this in order to prove to everyone that Linux was better.
* ion has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dm> brings a tear to my eye... :') so true..
<dm> So if you're starting out Linux, I advise you to use the same method as I did to get help. Start the sentence with "Linux is gay because it can't do XXX like Windows can". You will have PhDs running to tell you how to solve your problems.
<dm> this person must be a kindred spirit of mine
#152138 (206)
* Suzzie just learned the term "donkey punch"
<Suzzie> the question is, why is it listed in the "sports" category
#152355 (517)
<xcham> what I love is how leonardo never manages to stab anyone.
<grassmunk> so you believe the part about fucking turtles living on pizza and standing 5 feet tall but the guy with swords doesnt stab anyone and it ruins the realite for you
<grassmunk> heh
<Kris> lol
#152384 (449)
<FrankFlyNess> she still sits next to me in spanish
<FrankFlyNess> we pass notes
<FrankFlyNess> its almost like cybering
#152400 (863)
<Weiki> sex is icky
<Weiki> when you have it all too much.
<Weiki> You'll get to the point where youll actually want a pizza over sex, at least for me anyways.
<BrianJohnson> I bet people in Ethiopa want pizza over sex
<BrianJohnson> They must have sex an awful lot
<Lanus> Let them suck you off, and solve two problems at once!
<Novasol> That's quite possibly the most disturbing solution for ending world hunger I've heard yet.
#152424 (1039)
KitterLittie> Man, this sucks
KitterLittie> I just sat down to poo, but before I even sit down I hear this big *KERSPLOOOSH!*
KitterLittie> So I'm all freaked out, wondering how that happened, I jump and turn around...
KitterLittie> Turns out that I forgot I had the TV remote in my back pocket before I took my pants down :(
#152578 (803)
—› join: (RIAArep) (LucerinRd@128.163.205.182)
(+Xelopheri) ::: Metallica - The Call of Ktulu : 8:53 : 128kbps : Joint Stereo :::.
(+Xelopheri) oh shit!
#152727 (621)
Steve: so, why don't you just have anal sex with your ex?
Felix: I... can't afford that much lube?
Felix: I don't like making girls cry?
Felix: I don't like washing bloody sheets?
Felix: I couldn't deal with someone shitting on my dick.
Steve: well, technically..
Steve: they're not shitting your dick, you're dicking their shit.
#152737 (2583)
<J-dogg> Your pretty funny
<DirtyKate> I don't remember you.. but thanx
<J-dogg> Wanna cyber?
<DirtyKate> OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
<DirtyKate> Who are you?
<J-dogg>  I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
<J-dogg> And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
<DirtyKate> You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
<J-dogg> Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
<DirtyKate> Haha! OK
<DirtyKate> Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
<J-dogg> Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
<DirtyKate> I want everything, baby!
<J-dogg> Is this a delivery?
<DirtyKate> Umm...Yes
<DirtyKate> So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
<J-dogg> Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<DirtyKate> Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
<J-dogg> You can't hurry good pizza.
<J-dogg> I'm on my way now though
<DirtyKate> So you're at my front door now.
<J-dogg> How did you know?
<J-dogg> I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
<J-dogg> Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
<DirtyKate> Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
<J-dogg> So you're still in the bathroom?
<DirtyKate> Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
<J-dogg> I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
<DirtyKate> wtf?
<DirtyKate> You perverted piece of shiat
<DirtyKate> Fuk
#152835 (505)
<Murdoc> sometimes i wonder if the fig leaf on Eve's twat is actually an air freshener
#152844 (511)
ThatIsDamnGood: Stupidity is an inexhaustible natural resource
ThatIsDamnGood: Someday we'll learn to generate electrical power from it
ThatIsDamnGood: And it will change the world
#153171 (577)
<zamros> moose i am going to kick you in the groin until the only thing you have there is a bloodied mass of pulp
<Mooseka> HAHA, YOU'RE TOO LATE
#153172 (1623)
RogueRed1: you dumb
RogueRed1: your*
Xaimus: NOT MUCH BETTER
#153216 (483)
(Antti): [Receiving] Colorful_-_08.avi (67.3MB) from Uraschlafen at 1B/s, 22% (15.4MB) done, 89wks 6days 7hrs 45mins 28secs remaining
#153225 (1138)
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  I just got fucking attacked my a huge ass spider.
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  *by
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  I looked up to see this huge spider on my monitor.
[Kendros]@::  lmao
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  THE MOTHERFUCKER JUMPED ONTO MY FACE
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  I FELL OVER BACKWARD
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  As I was typing randmo gibberish I hit ctrlatldel two times or something.
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  My computer was off after I killed it.
[boner] ::  nice
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  Nice my ass.
[Doctahluuuvvv] ::  I punched myself in the face :/
#153226 (644)
<Hidden_7> MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER
<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware
<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this bitch
<Hidden_7> and it won't fucking give up the goods
<Hidden_7> so fucking like a chick it's not EVEN funny
#153491 (216)
<Black_Moons> Well, as I see it, if they start doing geeky things like play chess they might wanna do other geeky things.. like doing geeks.
#153494 (356)
<_Godless_> other night, was fucking hella drunk
<_Godless_> next day I'm thirsty and I see a cup and I'm thinking alright. I got that before I went to bed last night. Water on
<_Godless_> well the first sip tasted funny, like it was watered down really bitter beer
<_Godless_> then the second time I started thinking wtf, did I drop a fucking tylenol in it when I was hungover in the morning
<_Godless_> well I finaly decide to get up and change the water .. that's when I notice the nice yellow hue
<ravnus> rofl
<_Godless_> I just hope it was mine >_<
#153512 (311)
<lech> if i want a 3d file browser, i might as well have a bfg and some monsters to shoot
<Wevah> word
<antiuser> shoot the file you want to open
<Wevah> instead of "rm -rf file" you shoot it with the railgun!
<lech> yeah, then the fun is over
<lech> "I BEAT MY FILE SYSTEM!"
#153519 (1540)
<{eCholaLia}> u know if u have a 56k modem , u can save time buy d/lin songs with the smallest amount of bitrate and changing em after wards with a convertor
<Natus> i think you may be legally retarded