#113418 (276)
<memo> I AM NOW TAKING REQUESTS REGARDING PRESSING SPECIFIC LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET AND THEN HITTING ENTER   <memo> IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A LETTER PLEASE DO SO NOW AND I WILL TYPE IT
#113423 (151)
<Locke> I went on an exciting box and pie adventure.   <Locke> It wasn't nearly as sexual as it sounds.
#113443 (113)
<`Hunter> Dutch tv sounds really shite, the only good stuff is what you steal off us :/
<RevMonsta> wtf your right
<RevMonsta> he is giving a sausage a blowjob
#113511 (826)
<WoG> wanna play me in UT J?
<J_Dawg007> Sure, I just got it again. Gimme a few minutes to practice though, I need to learn to nut suck again.
<WoG> lmao
<J_Dawg007> Err... not*
<J_Dawg007> Great, I'm never gonna live THAT one down..
#113520 (305)
<oR1on|Trivia> 6. What is a leech a type of?
<AuthSrev> woman
#113533 (363)
<Beltz> This condom in my drawer, it's about to expire. Two weeks left! And those things last for 5 years.
<Dindrane> ... wow.
<Dindrane> Tell me it's a family heirloom or something, passed down?
<Mickster> Just tell me it's not used
<Dindrane> Ya, cuz keeping a used condom as opposed to a packaged one makes you more of a loser?
<Kyatoru> I'd say so. That's a disgusting trophy.
<Beltz> My last 2 or 3 were in my wallet for so long they eventually had holes all over them and were brown inside due to dust. I started carrying one in my wallet at all times due to my last near-sex experience. I have such a wild imagination.
<Dindrane> Beltz - I hear of people having near-deather experiences... but near-sex? Holy shiznit, man.
#113542 (420)
@zacke › i got in trouble once, and my mom installed windows me as my punishment
#113578 (632)
<idiotdude>My mom's boyfriend gave me some magazines and one of them was an FHM from last month, and i pick it up and a penis enlargement ad falls out, and the order form is cut out and theres some notes scribbled on the bottom on how much it would cost plus shipping and handling
#113589 (210)
Frost: :p
Frost: lol dood
Frost: my brother and his friend come home just now
Frost: and theres 5 kids coming up the street running
Frost: im like wtf
ape: lol
Frost: and he tells me they are chasing him and his friend
Frost: so i go out there like wtf fags what do you want
Frost: and they said my little brother and his friend hit some lady in the head with a rock and shes bleeding
ape: ROFL
Frost: man my brother is dumb
Frost: im gonna let them beat him up
ape: thats the funniest shit ive heard in a long time
Frost: :P
#113632 (207)
<MKendora> Unfortunately, Win2k still needs electricity to run >_<
<JB> Heh.
<JB> Maybe for 2k5.
<Fancia> They fix that in Windows SG (Supar Gud), which runs on the power of pure dreams.
<Tagrineth> Hehehe ^_^
<JB> Well, we're all screwed.
<Tagrineth> But that probably still won't run on most people's comps
<JB> Anyone here besides Fancia have a pure dream in teh last year?
<Fancia> ;b
<Tagrineth> NOT ME
<MKendora> I have impure dreams.
<MKendora> I have purely violent dreams.
<Fancia> Well, they're thinking of expanding Windows PG (Perfikt Gud) to run on any dreams. ;o
<JB> That may help.
<JB> Methinks some of the dreams here may corrupt it, though.
<Fancia> True. ^.^;
<Tagrineth> LOL
<Fancia> "Windows received an Illegal Dream error! Please reboot!"
<Tagrineth> Hehehe
<Tagrineth> "*PLEASE* reboot... (sicko)"
<JB> Windows has committed suicide to remove the image form it's memory. Please order a new copy.
#113653 (329)
<Catmando> I've never had an IDE cable with a hole like that
<Catmando> I've had floppy cables, but never IDE
<dealer_> youve never had sex with a girl, but that's not saying it doesnt exist
<narayan`> ouch
<ran_dogg|> i can't top that
<Catmando> well, I do have more experience with IDE cables than with women
#113943 (1493)
* St-Lemur puts pasta next to antipasti
<KCaesar> You FOOL! You'll kill us all!
#113949 (231)
<ph0rce> this is like turning into a war
<ph0rce> back like vietnam
<ph0rce> INCOMING NETSPLIT! GET THE FUCK DOWN
<ph0rce> INCOMING BOGIES INCOMING BOGIES
<ph0rce> RETURN FIRE
<ph0rce> *dos attack*
#114068 (308)
<dj_enkie> im a good babysitter
<dj_enkie> the boy is older
<dj_enkie> e is like 8
<dj_enkie> and he will become me someday
<dj_enkie> i give him porn to not tell his parents that i drink their booze
#114202 (813)
<typobox43> brb, grabbing a floppy dick
#114332 (2402)
<Kazak> man I am bored, Im gonna try some weird shit
<Nash> uh oh
<Kazak> HOLY FUCKING BLOODY HELL!
<Nash> ?!
<Kazak> I PUT A STAPLE THROUGH MY DICK!
<Nash> HOLY SHIT!
<Nash> You really are a crazy bastard!
*Killer_jeep has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> good fucking hell this hurts LIKE HELL
<Killer_jeep> What?
<Nash> he put a staple thru his dick
<Killer_jeep> DEAR GOD
*Killer_jeep has left the conversation.
<Kazak> shit now I have to piss! Brb
<Nash> this can&#8217;t be good
<Kazak> BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCK!
<Nash> what happened!
*Darkness has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> the piss flew out of the staple holes
<Darkness> WTF!?
*Darkness has left the conversation.
<Kazak> I had to straddle the toilet to get it in!
<Nash> are you gonna go to the ER?
<Kazak> are you crazy? no fucking way
<Nash> well try pulling it out
<Kazak> I can&#8217;t it hurts like hell if I try!
<Nash> well it has to come out sooner or later.
<Nash> better off sooner, before anyone sees you.
<Kazak> GODDAM THIS HURTS
<Nash> its your own fault, you know.
<Kazak> shutup! augh this hurts!!!
<Kazak> GRGGRFFFFDJH~!!11
*Aaron has joined the conversation
<Aaron> whats up guys?
<Nash> The crazy bastard put a staple through his dick
<Aaron> FUCKING HELL
*Aaron has left the conversation.
<Kazak> THANK GOD!!! I got it out!!!
<Nash> right&#8230;what about the holes?
<Kazak> uhh&#8230;
*Malaina has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> I&#8217;ll have to cover my dick with band-aids.
<Malaina> what the hell are you talking about?
<Kazak> oh shit. Nash, don&#8217;t!!!!
<Nash> your boyfriend put a staple through his dick
<Malaina> FUCKING HELL YOU SICK BASTARD!
*Malaina has left the conversation.
#114347 (1033)
<Skilless15> what's rtfm
<Skilless15> i forgot
<@avaxx> read the fucking manual.
<Skilless15> why
<Skilless15> you could just tell me
#114352 (2260)
Spoon35: http://www.oddworldz.com/fmweekly/kellypinup.jpg
SenorWeird: who?
Momog: hehe
SenorWeird: who is that?
Momog: kelly hu = the wolverine chick from xmen
SenorWeird: Kelly who?
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly?
Momog: heh
Momog: it's a trap!
SenorWeird: Just tell me the chick's name. It's Kelly what?
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: ?!
SenorWeird: The chick you just posted a picture of!
Spoon35: Hu
SenorWeird: That's what I wanna know! Kelly who!
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: So it's Kelly Exactly!
* Marty11 Laughs in the strange confusion
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: The girl in the picture you posted is Kelly Exactly
Momog: Hu, Kelly.
Momog: HA!
SenorWeird: Yes, Kelly, Momog.
Spoon35: Kelly Momog??
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly
Momog: doh
SenorWeird: Okay, you know what? Forget this.
SenorWeird: Let's talk about that hot chick in Mulholland Drive and The Ring.
SenorWeird: What's her name?
Momog: who?
SenorWeird: her name
Spoon35: Watts.
SenorWeird: yes, I think my question was quite clear.
Spoon35: Watts.
* Momog covers his ears and screams
SenorWeird: are you not understanding me?
SenorWeird: Who is the chick from The Ring?
Spoon35: I think I understand. you want to know Watts.
SenorWeird: Not What, who. Who is the chick from The Ring.
Spoon35: no, Watts is the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Who is?
Spoon35: no, she was in X2
SenorWeird: What?!
Spoon35: exactly.
SenorWeird: Exactly was in X2. okay.
SenorWeird: so then Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: Hu was.
SenorWeird: Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: no. Watts was in the Ring. Hu was in X2.
SenorWeird: Exactly. Now, let's get back to the Ring. What's that chick's name?
Spoon35: watts.
SenorWeird: okay, I'm lost.
SenorWeird: What's the name of the chick from X2?
Spoon35: no, Watts is the name of the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Forget about the ring. I don't want to hear about Who was in the ring.
Spoon35: watts
SenorWeird: Am I not clear? Who was in X2?
Spoon35: yes.
SenorWeird: Yes?
SenorWeird: Yes what?
Spoon35: Yes Hu! No Watts.
SenorWeird: ....
SenorWeird: What?!
Momog: i am logging this and using it as blackmail against you both
SenorWeird: oh, this is either genius or stupidity.
#114358 (491)
(maddox@) I just thought of a joke, I don't know if someone has already made this up, but here it goes: What actor would Christopher Reeve be if he could trade places with anyone? Christopher Walken
#114377 (210)
< Teratogen> Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.
#114413 (393)
<NekoLocke|Runescape> What the hell? some girl offered me cybersex on Runescape in exchange for all the gold ore I had in my inventory. @_@
<Danny> now you do it be a man whore :P
<Eden99> LOL XD;
<Noval> Wow, a game with real hookers. That's inpressive.
#114470 (669)
* flathead has joined #zdoom
<Zack`> a dragon in thick, fluffy white diapers
<flathead> sounds like I missed one hell of a discussion here
#114600 (-22)
Mix-Master-Movies:  MY GROUP NAME IS
Mix-Master-Movies:  REAL MOVIES ON KAZAA
amanda:  the link
Mix-Master-Movies:  ITS ON MSN
Mix-Master-Movies:  SO AMANDA WILL YOU JOIN
amanda:  no
Mix-Master-Movies:  WHY
amanda:  i dont usa kazaaa
amanda:  and u wont give me the link.
Mix-Master-Movies:  WHAT LINK
Mix-Master-Movies:  I DONT HAVE A WEBSITE
Mix-Master-Movies:  ITS IN THE MSN GROUPS
#114610 (1113)
Aaron|SYS> Hello
<Aaron|SYS> I am Aaron, a System Operator (SYSOP) for Mindspring
<Aaron|SYS> I will be monitoring the activities of Mindspring and Earthlink subscribers this evening
<Aaron|SYS> Have a pleasurable and enjoyable day or night!
*** Quits: Aaron|SYS (Killed (SFC (hi, I'm an ircoperator, and I will be regulating your activity monitoring)))
#114622 (374)
<Berrik> my goddamned school has fat cheerleaders
<Berrik> let me tell you something
<Berrik> there's only one half of a girl's chest I want to see jiggle when she jumps
<Berrik> and it ain't the bottom half