#102467 (237)
<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men convention. seeya later
#102469 (263)
<steven> Alman : Will you be my friend?
<Alman> uhm lemme do a whois on you first
#102473 (498)
<LesVoix> i want to start the straight pride parade
<fubar-42o> yah
<fubar-42o> what kinda flag would we have
<fubar-42o> since the gay ppl have a rainbow
<fubar-42o> we should
<fubar-42o> have 2 chicks doin it
<LesVoix> LOL
<fubar-42o> cuz thats what every straight guy wants to see
#102486 (718)
<[CKS]Red_Robot> i know i should be working on my paper, but id rather be playing warcraft, so to compromise im doing almost nothing
#102620 (164)
<esco600> why would someone's mom be on bash.org?
<aNuBiS-> moms need nerd love too
#102752 (50)
<mufffin> i could live there
<mufffin> except its an apartment
<Schlurbna> That's not to say I wouldn't live there but I expect more from
penthouse apartments.
<hoek_> Schlurbna - you expect penthouse models in there?
#102875 (-62)
<ater> how bout a tamigotchi game with a chinktwat
<ater> your only options would be "Do Math" "Practice Violin"
#102979 (913)
<cwilbur> we have a database table with fifteen million rows in it.
<cwilbur> they brought a manual database change in.
<cwilbur> "please print a table dump before and after you make the change."
<Azhrarn> nothing like hard copy to recover mistakes from!
<cwilbur> there are fifteen million rows in the table.  if you want us to make a dump of the table just in case, that makes sense.  but do you really want a *book*?
<cwilbur> "our policy says that we need a printout."
<confound> hahaha
<cwilbur> oooookay.
<Azhrarn> print out a link to the backup on your intranet :)
<confound> "that's not MY policy."
<cwilbur> no, they want a printout, they'll get a printout.
<pmichaud> what font size?  how many lines per page?
<Azhrarn> Poor trees
<Halfjack> They'll only want it once.
<cwilbur> when someone asks why we've gone through three toner cartridges and the printer is still printing, we'll refer them to the twit.
<Azhrarn> shrink the font till it fits on one page :)
<pmichaud> purl, 15000000 / 66
<purl> 227272.727272727
<Azhrarn> !
<pmichaud> purl, 227272 / 5000
<purl> 45.4544
<pmichaud> 45 cases of paper :-)
<pmichaud> at 66 lines per page
<Azhrarn> and after he makes the changes...
#103072 (140)
<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
#103102 (520)
<Taiken> A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!
<Shempo> WHAT!?
<Shempo> TIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL?
<Taiken> WORSE!
<Taiken> IM OUT OF MARIJUANA!
<Shempo> Oh
<Shempo> My
<Shempo> God
* Shempo calls up Canabis-Man
<Shempo> SAVE HIM CANABIS MAN!
<Taiken> ...
<Taiken> Where is Cannabis man?
<Shempo> Probably high.
#103104 (688)
<gellehsak> all the french kids at my school
<gellehsak> look at porn all day
<gellehsak> they're like
<gellehsak> "HAW HAW HAW... LE PORNO EST TRES BIEN"
#103111 (229)
<genesis> mommy, why doesnt bc do logic math?
<ch> because you touch yourself.
<genesis> a world without bit shifts is a world i dont want to masturbate in
#103126 (332)
«BoneyCork» ok heres a foolproof plan to get a girl
«BoneyCork» rummage around for 5 minutes, turn to a girl, smile and say" excuse me, have you got a pen i can borrow?"
«Dilbert|Simpsons» or pull out your penis and say "i'm horny bitch, suck my cock"
«_404NotFound» ha
«_404NotFound» ahh.. the direct approach
«BoneyCork» ive never tried that one
«BoneyCork» maybe i should sometime
«Dilbert|Simpsons» yeah
«Dilbert|Simpsons» i've done it millions of times
«Dilbert|Simpsons» its bound to work sooner or later
#103202 (434)
<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me can't understand them.
<TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS!
<OwnerDemon> Exactly.
#103210 (235)
notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv
#103215 (571)
<jeev> there are 2 things i hate in life
<jeev> racists and mexicans
#103244 (358)
<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you try to use for a slogan?
<Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."
#103251 (704)
<Yuli> ...so anyway, I was all like "where's my coconuts man! I ordered em last week!"
<Yuli> and the guy just stared at me like "what the fuck?"
<Yuli> so i was all like "whatever man, send them to my hut"
<Yuli> and I paddled away
#103266 (413)
<_Dogbert_> whats the diff btwn a bucket of menstrual fluid, and a bucket of sand?
<rusty-chix> wtf?
<_Dogbert_> you cant gargle a bucket of sand
*** You were kicked by ChanOP ([Android] stop now.)
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #teens
#103371 (859)
<acaos> why does bread come in one shape, meat in another, and cheese in a third so when you want to make a sandwich you have to cut and fold and contort to get it right? =)
<leile> hahaha.
<leile> its like food-origami.
<acaos> my thought exactly =)
<acaos> but I have balanced the meat-yin and the cheese-yang and the bread-fu now.
<acaos> the ancient, mystical art of Sandwich-Do.
<leile> hahaha
<leile> HAHAHAHA.
#103407 (151)
<werxxx> ok..
<werxxx> lemme put it like this
<werxxx> how to make my script check dns of a given domain
<xterm> werxxx: google should be able to help you out.
<werxxx> google?
<werxxx> so i'll need to configure my script to parse google query result?
#103409 (239)
<quacks> u look like that milk girl
<quacks> on the cup
<@dolphie> huh?
<@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly
<quacks> precisely.
#103422 (220)
<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101
<Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump
<Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon a Hooker 101
#103452 (355)
* ChanServ has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -ooo Deleter Elight|Xenosaga KamikazeChicken|Away
* Cold_Lich sets mode: -o Arieswind
* Cold_Lich whistles innocently
#103459 (235)
### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200 amps
### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*