QDB — Browse Quotes

#98423 (235)

<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant

#98432 (1156)

<WrmSlayer> The AI in the matrix got it all wrong
<WrmSlayer> they should have just used cows instead of humans
<WrmSlayer> no chance of rebelion
<Reverend> yeah
<Reverend> stupid AI
<WrmSlayer> and the mootrix would have just been a big sunny infinite field of grass

#98439 (57)

<zez> jerry seinfeld is old.
<matt> it takes a dirty old man to do that job
<zez> no i mean he's gotta be wearing 15lbs of makeup
<matt> ya..
<matt> its really too bad
<matt> tv went downhill when he left
<zez> uh
<matt> i wish he did more
<zez> tv's been going downhilll since 1950.
<zez> i dont like seinfeld at all
<matt> heh
<matt> no way
<zez> i find him completely self absorbed and stupid
<zez> nope
<matt> (marry tyler moore)++
<zez> the only episode of seinfeld i like at all is the soup nazi one
<zez> and its not because i like seinfeld
<zez> its because i empathize with the nazi.

#98447 (886)

<Diamond> But what's truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
<tidalblaze> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Diamond> That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
<tidalblaze> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Diamond> ...Apparently when I have kids I'm going to stick them inside a small aluminum box.
<Diamond> And have them process numbers for me all day.
<Diamond> So I can watch porn.

#98450 (7904)

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

#98459 (273)

(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all through the house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and didn't believe in christmas

#98549 (78)

<x[conco]> morning
<ChrisFlugel> I just had dinner
<ChrisFlugel> still feels like morning
<ChrisFlugel> maybe because I havent wacked off yet today

#98554 (322)

<Crash2xs> smoke time
* spider_gurl smokes
<Crash2xs> I wonder y all the sex workers smoke
<Inanna> friction?

#98638 (415)

<KillaDawg> I don't want to move to Singapore with you. too humid
<PinkRydergurl> Well, you don't have to wear clothes..you can walk around naked like people in Africa..
<KillaDawg> Uhhhh, people in Africa have large penes, so they can comfortably walk around naked. I'm white; I'm not quite that well-endowed
<PinkRydergurl> Uhhhh, once again, we're talking about SINGAPORE, which is in ASIA....you're more "gifted" than you think you are...

#98661 (231)

<J-DOgg> 52. What does cobol stand for?
<Java_Lang> programming
<J-DOgg> Here's your 1st hint: common bus_____ ________ ________
<GodDess|Lang> really stupid computer language
<GodDess|Lang> that i aced
<GodDess|Lang> and forgot the name
<GLOW|SonicReducer> Completely Obsolete Business Orientated Langauge

#98665 (1209)

<CommanderStab> I remember once this girl was stalking me
<CommanderStab> Some french girl named Olivia
<CommanderStab> And whenever I went online there she was on ICQ or MSN or whatever going "RARGH HELLO ^_^_^_^__^_^" and like being ultra-friendly and like doing nothing but complimenting me on whatever the hell she'd come up with for that day
<CommanderStab> And I was like, whatever but I'll put up with it, praise can be hard to come by
<CommanderStab> And then finally she said she was gonna send me a picture and I was like, YES! My patience has payed off =D
<CommanderStab> And I got the picture and I was like WTF?! This is a guy!!
<CommanderStab> How could I have gone 4 months and NOT realised that the guy's nick was "Oliver", not "Olivia" I'll never know >__<

#98680 (526)

<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point

#98686 (286)

<+psychoace> damn fucking netsplits
<+psychoace> when will mirc solve this problem

#98701 (2191)

<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self

#98862 (225)

#98863 (287)

<punchcard_w0rk> "fuck with me and I convert your job into a shell script"

#98871 (497)

<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!

#98872 (232)

<BoneyCork> irc operators have a musty operator scent
<CG> na ima clean
<BoneyCork> when you go into some houses you can tell they have dogs, others you can tell they smoke
<BoneyCork> i bet if you go into CG's house you think, "irc operator"

#98880 (356)

Geeky Weezer Fan: Gay Cruises are for gay people....
onkeybutt87: they are?
onkeybutt87: uh-oh
onkeybutt87: Dad's not going to be happy about that one

#98898 (1170)

<iretch> i love how the only way i can tell which family members are home
<iretch> are which lights are lit up on my hub

#98911 (334)

<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off images", it only refers to inline images. Which is why it's safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl. I think it's obvious how I figured this out.

#98917 (291)

<Snowman> How come I can't hack anything that I try to?
<Snowman> I even used su... I just dont know what do do after that...
<Snowman> Even when I have root...
<TheFat> *sigh* you idiot...
<TheFat> Dont you know, you need uber root not su...
<Snowman> How do I get that
<TheFat> run "halt" then "ur"
<Snowman> Sweet, so i will hack things with ur?
*** Signoff: Snowman (Disconnected)
*** Snowman(poopie@host-209-111-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #hackr
<Snowman> Man... hacking is sooooo gay

#98918 (649)

<Aitrus> I have three root canals with crowns scheduled, plus the removal of two wisdom teeth, and two impacted partials. PLUS two fillings.
<Aitrus> my children will be forced to brush at gunpoint.

#98935 (426)

<Aitrus> You are standing on the top of a cliff next to a clone of yourself who just so happens to be stark naked. You reach over, and deftly push the clone over the cliff. Is it:
<Aitrus> A: Homicide
<Aitrus> B: Suicide
<Aitrus> or
<Aitrus> C: Just another obscene clone fall

#98997 (148)

<teefers> im khaleds rat
<teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says about him on undernet
<teefers> then i send it to him
<teefers> and he winnukes people
<vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not to mention, I hate you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get winnuked h0 h0 h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> ha!
<Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw output real time
<vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
<vulture_> :P
<Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
<vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
<Untitled2> There's an idea
<Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from x.x.x.x
<vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."