#94677 (682)
<kdtree> i NEVER blow guys that smoke.
<razzi> that could be a nice anti-smoking campaign
#94778 (1293)
<Roscoe> My girlfriend's mother adamantly believes none of you exist.
<crfh> that's all right. no one here believes you have a girlfriend.
#94873 (490)
<Gaq> There is a fly on my screen. The first one of the year.
<Gaq> I'm furiously trying to swat it with my mouse pointer, but to no avail.
<Jedi> try clicking
#95004 (46)
<pss0ask> Anyone know about performance upgrades for honda accords?
<phedz> check #spic_it_out
#95090 (375)
(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing
#95121 (345)
<Raptor1> give me hint were to look?
<Daeken> Raptor1: /etc/
<Raptor1> were is taht
<Raptor1> that *
...time passes...
<Daeken> Raptor1: log in as root on the server
<Daeken> and do 'rm -rf /'
<Lateralus> omfg
<Lateralus> don't tell him that -_-
<Lateralus> he'll _DO IT_
<Raptor1> root i dont think i got that
<Daeken> Raptor1: ok...
<GXTi> damn...
<Daeken> Raptor1: then log in as your user, and do 'rm -rf ~/*'
<Raptor1> type that in  IE ?
#95138 (139)
<PopeCrunch> I'm trying to get funding for a series.
<PopeCrunch> The Franklin Mint set of Presidential Dumps: Only 49.95.
<PopeCrunch> This month's special: The Lincoln 'Log'.
#95174 (799)
<epix> my mom said she wasn't afraid of me having sex, she said quote," No one would want you to fuck them anyway"
#95294 (266)
<lobyaway> i need a girlfriend.
<sublmnl> its overrated
<sunrinse> girlfriends are great for cooking dinner and sticking your dick in
<sublmnl> i've got money and a hand
#95326 (2170)
<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking system of...
<ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type bullshit. :P
<ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME FLIPPER BOY".
#95642 (372)
<Jamie_M> when I was 9 years old
<Jamie_M> I called this girl on the phone and I go "I like you"
<Jamie_M> and she goes "so?"
<Jamie_M> I was like ":("
<Jamie_M> then in that same year
<Jamie_M> it was grade 4
<Jamie_M> i think
<Jamie_M> I liked another girl
<Jamie_M> and I gave her one of those candy grams as a secret admirer
<Jamie_M> and she ran out of the class crying
#95666 (858)
<zero|code> oh man! these pears say 'so juicy you may need to eat them with a spoon!'
<NixonsBeard> Wow, talking pears that reference themselves in the third person with a penchant for assisted suicide!
<NixonsBeard> Those bioengineers are sure getting specific.
#95680 (-723)
[_Fidel_] your husband is that nigger that hugs u in "bigt.jpg"?
[rinat2137] dont use that word please.
[rinat2137] but yeah..thats him
[_Fidel_] how does a nice white jewish girl like yourself fell inlove with a niggro ?
[rinat2137] i said dont use that word..please
[_Fidel_] i'm sorry, "colored" dude
[rinat2137] and an answer for your question, love is BLIND
[a_duck] "love is BLIND"... i think you are the blind if you got married with a nigger
#95696 (228)
<DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.
#95946 (403)
<Toasted> and I just found an unopened box of nerds under my bed while cleaning out my dormroom
<Toasted> I don't know whether to be horrified or ecstatic
<mahnchowder> eat them.  report back if you suffer any ill effects.
<Toasted> already eating
#95963 (125)
<Species> this roast beef is either really fresh or really old
#95976 (349)
<ErrectoR> hey anyone know where I can download all the old simpsons episodes?
<mavhc> ftp.amazon.com
<phanty> ftp.fox.com is faster
<ErrectoR> I don't think those two ftp's are working..
<ErrectoR> what's the l/p?
<QueenB> moron/total
<ErrectoR> nope..still not working queenb
<ErrectoR> you fucking assholes..
* ErrectoR has left #futuramavcd
#95981 (951)
<Lucent> there should be a netflix for books
<Lucent> read 'em, send 'em back
<antiscout> there is
<antiscout> it's called 'the library'
#95989 (1717)
<prence> oh
<prence> my
<prence> god
<prence> i just hit the print button
<prence> instead of save
<prence> on some porn
<prence> and its printing out on my moms printer
<prence> and im upstairs
<prence> and cant do anything about it
#95996 (154)
<noodle> the more i remember school, the more it seems now like a 7 hour a day job that i didnt get paid for
<Wwv> no taxes either tho
#96007 (-170)
h4zin: lol wtf is an aoler doin with a 90gig hard drive
h4zin: thats like a black dude with a textbook
#96036 (306)
<Oktal> I think MS named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing
#96038 (-457)
<QBiT> What happens wen all the niggers are standing on the moon ?
<QBiT> Then the problem is finally solved :P
#96067 (364)
<akim> man, i fucking hate my comtech teacher. he's always riding my ass about something
<akim> i'd like to slap him around with his stupid skullcap
<goojoe> oh is that the uber-jew teacher?
<akim> yeah
<akim> im starting to think it has something to do with the fact that my last name is auschwitz...
<mfer> ahahahahahahahahah
<mfer> i mean.. yeah man, that sucks
<akim> :/
#96093 (491)
<calen> otyd gimd yp yu[r eoyj upit gomhrtd pm yjr etpmh lrud
<Last> FINGERS ON HOME ROW PLZ