QDB — Browse Quotes

#46643 (115)

<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up.

#46646 (146)

<Kobe> http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ :: for all ur sex0ring n33ds
<TMBomber> ow wheres the search by crime? u don't even get to know what they are in for :P

#46647 (160)

<czechreck> Well I bribed the misses to pick us up from the pub with a
bottle of southern comfort
<czechreck> Apparently I made a boo-boo during drunken sex with her
tho
<czechreck> I told her I'd 'had better'

#46648 (92)

<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated
my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter

#46652 (370)

<C4> I overclocked my mousepad.
<tminos> thats nothing, I have my waterbed OC'ed, now I only have to sleep for two hours a night

#46656 (29)

<Gusto> you're clearly an anal assassin, your gay insults just prove your desire for penis

#46664 (114)

<sh-> i can get myself banned, thank you very much
<ohdiesel> sh-: just stick your hands in the olive tray
<sh-> my idea involves indecent exposure and deli meat

#46667 (121)

<WildElf> i dunno notpad scripting too well
<WildElf> java on the other hand i sorta understand..

#46669 (383)

#46671 (301)

<flawed> if you go test drive a jaguar they should give you a free neon
<flawed> as a gift

#46672 (693)

<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on

#46673 (335)

<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders

#46675 (121)

<energize> either we play ghost recon or i make a lame attempt to beat off.. realize i'm too loaded and end up passing out with my dick in my hand

#46677 (12)

(pantherqs) isnt there some gradeschool playground you should be stalking or something?
<Gusto> oh buddy
<Gusto> there are TWO, count em, TWO grade schools right beside my apartment
<Gusto> little jewish preschoolers running around
<Gusto> one day i'm going to snap a load on one of their beanies

#46679 (225)

<hoedje> how can I see witch hda I can mount?
<ymir> You don't mount witches.
<ymir> Because, I don't think they'll appreciate it.

#46681 (-65)

(panthernt) but theres this big black-ish cloud in detroit's general direction
<energize> that's just niggers reflecting into the sky

#46683 (198)

(energize) wanna blow me?
(Wickey) wanna earn my trust back??
(energize) can i do both at the same time?

#46687 (81)

<Gusty> being black would be cool
<Gusty> you could have your own neighbourhood
<Gusty> where the cops are afraid to go

#46691 (212)

<pantherqs> i wonder what masturbation in the dark under strobe light with fluorescent paint on your penis and a black light would look like...

#46695 (609)

<beretta> i just sneezed and smashed my face into my knee!
<beretta> boy is my face red
<mischief> embarassing :P
<beretta> no, blood.

#46696 (4)

<|TripleH|> i prefer my ladies dead, and just before rigamortis sets in

#46698 (131)

<pantherqs> all this freaky shadow government shit they got setup now
<_Tonto> yeah, they can run it from AF1
<_Tonto> kind of like PC Anywhere
<_Tonto> except
<_Tonto> it's Congress anywhere

#46699 (154)

(+Ruskins) AeroBob doenst like star wars, so hes clearly a BIG FAG
(+Normandy) I think he was referring to your sexual orientation actually
(+Kazimierz) I thought he meant he was a giant cigarette

#46700 (532)

(+Kazimierz) Groundhog Day is on TV so much it's as if the film's really happening

#46701 (467)

<datacide> well
<datacide> and always remember the old saying...
<datacide> no cock is as hard as life
<Rjx> I've never heard that one
<debutante> uh
<debutante> me either
<debutante> FREAK
<Rjx> I think that should have been the line in Forrest Gump