QDB — Browse Quotes

#22883 (117)

<p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
<BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider it
<BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes

#22887 (262)

<RageATM> been sitting here for so long when i walked into the other room i could still see my mirc screen

#22895 (440)

<@yay> he doesn't have a low self esteem
<@yay> he thinks he's awesome
<@PhiL> really
<@yay> he's just depressed as hell because no one believes him

#22897 (195)

<es0> how you use TCp with an abacus?
<%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack?
<@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :)
<%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs out there
<%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier pigeons"
<@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one

#22899 (572)

<@freak> i now have a 'HEERZ WUT IM LISTANEN 2' plugin so i can piss everyone off
* @freak listens to PUDDLE OF MUDD - BLURRY
<@freak> not even a kick? :(
<@freak> fine
<@freak> i'll do it
*** freak was kicked by freak (NO FAGS IN #WTF ASSHOLE)

#22900 (324)

* ILoveJackDaniels is gonna set up a "Ken's Typos" quote site
<kensplace> msssake me anon but ken still
<ILoveJackDaniels> Ken: Lay off the crack. Seriously ;)
<kensplace> lol
* kensplace promises not to slay antyother word

#22902 (207)

<@PhiL> jesus fucking christ, hitting tyrant with the knife is like poking a small baby in the stomach
<@PhiL> the motherfucker giggles in your face, then claws it off

#22904 (463)

<@Social> mathcore is DEP
<@Social> and mr gayngle
<@Phil> "AHHHHHH ONE PLUS TWO EQUALS THREE I HATE YOUR MOM AHHHHHHHH ::fast guitars::"
<@Phil> oh
<@Phil> i thought it was hardcore with mathematical lyrics
<@Social> lol
<@Social> LOL
<@Social> oh man
<@Social> that made me laugh
<@Social> AHAHA
<@Social> that would be great
<@Phil> i was being serious
<@Social> like
<@Phil> i would be a pioneer of that genre
<@Social> "AH 2 TIMES FUCKING 3 EQUALS 6 DIVIDED BY THE SQUARE ROOT OF YOUR MOTHER'S LOVE!!!!! FUCK!!!!"

#22905 (456)

<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!

#22906 (520)

#22910 (31)

<Ancalag0n> yes i just used residents as a verb
<dragonbyt> i hate fskcing dialup
<Ancalag0n> dialups gay
<Akki> how about "resides on"
<Ancalag0n> u should get aol
<Ancalag0n> akki:nope
<mikephoen> what the hell, did they install irc at the retard house :/

#22915 (338)

<IngyThing> ill probably pop in sometimes about 2300
<ILoveJackDaniels> we'll still be here, and ken still won't be able to type :)
<IngyThing> hehe
<kensplace> hic i reswomble that remark
<ILoveJackDaniels> flro
<kensplace> resembel
<kensplace> resembel;
<kensplace> hic
<ILoveJackDaniels> resent?
<kensplace> resembl;e
<kensplace> hic
<kensplace> look like

#22922 (933)

<r-j> ebay bought paypal for 1.5 billion dollars
<Doh_> wow
<smozoma> i wonder if paypal used ebay to sell themselves to ebay?
<smozoma> and did ebay pay by paypal?
<r-j> lol

#22925 (372)

<nilumtil> HOPE U GOT 2 IPS
<BilliamForty> i have twenty anyone want one?
<cln> BilliamForty, YES
<cln> i have no idea what i'd do with it though.
<BilliamForty> ok you can have 250.912.666.56454.258.4145.541
<BilliamForty> and if anyone says thats not an ip they can meet me out back
<cln> that isn't an ip.
<BilliamForty> meet me out back
<cln> will do
*** cln invites you to join #out.back

#22939 (2536)

<NyseriA> i just hit my hand with a hammer
<NyseriA> and the first thing i said was "SPLENDID"
<NyseriA> which made me laugh
<NyseriA> then i dropped the hammer on my foot because i was laughing at me saying splendid instead of FUCK

#22942 (352)

<NyseriA> at uni we asked this lad why the carpet was a different colour under this computer desk, he said that he had spilled an eggcup of bleach :D What made it worse though was that there was a lass sat on his beanbag on teh floor and she said, did you spill it upwards onto the keyboard shelf bottom as well :P

#22943 (1528)

<NyseriA> Things I've learned about war from videogames: If you find yourself mortally wounded by an enemy sniper be sure to let him know that he is a faggot.

#22947 (184)

<shitshe> it would be so convenient if cyber sex was real

#22950 (3)

Kydaimon: so have you found out which chess piece you are yet?
Kydaimon: if not i suggest you get on that...I'm hedging my bets you're a queen
Kydaimon: FAG
Jaron95DX: fuck no
Jaron95DX: HAHAHA
Jaron95DX: I hate you
Kydaimon: only because you know that's the funniest thing you've read today motherfucker

#22952 (608)

<weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it and blue when you right click it
<weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
<sponge> thats sad
<weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write and debug

#22954 (1586)

<Elly_May> my little sister just asked me why my hair was tangled
<Elly_May> i told her it was because my boyfriend came all over it when i was giving him a blow job
<Elly_May> at which point my father admitted he could hear me....

#22955 (1804)

<Elly_May> i'm so sick of fucking my father
<Shitshe> you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father
<Elly_May> whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of shit

#22976 (134)

<rei> only you can prevent forests! :)

#22978 (303)

<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.

#22985 (145)

<saunafrend> damn it, walmart doesnt advertise their shotguns on their website.