QDB — Browse Quotes

#9973 (616)

mike_afe > Linux manuals should have a section at the end showing a linux geek what to do in the event of sex. Not a complete sex manual but just some basic instructions.
Nikki_afe > 'Leave computer, it is not required'

#9974 (295)

Brianetta_afe > There's this other girl, who says she "values out friendship but..."
Brianetta_afe > and this continues:
Brianetta_afe > "... I wish it was more."
Josh_afe > lol, she's talking about your co...oh, never mind.

#9975 (681)

<Spengler> you know what?
<Spengler> the matrix would have made a really shit movie if he took the blue pill.

#9976 (145)

Nikki_afe > Russian biscuits are nice :)
Snaar_afe > Nikki: hm, i can't remember anything special about them
Snaar_afe > Nikki: i'm not sure if there is such thing as russian buscuits :-)
Snaar_afe > maybe it's just a rebranded dry dogfood :-,
oPless_afe > "russian biscuits" = potatos

#9978 (1129)

adam_afe > I just got a nice email from the most beautiful woman in the world :~)
adam_afe >Laura!! :-)
Urthworm_afe > what does she say?
adam_afe > err..
adam_afe > "Fuck off and stop emailing me you stupid worthless gimp."

#9985 (708)

<HankMcCoy> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll.

#9989 (394)

<Bearsy> hehehe... you dont really NEED pants.. they're just a nice to have
<rik0> i only have them for the pockets

#10000 (420)

<Cuthalion> I figured out why I'm not getting mad chixorz.
<majesty> ?
<Cuthalion> My humours are off. I need more blood and vitriol and less bile and phlegm.

#10007 (346)

<rumorf> Any horny ladies from idia?
<micah> Where in the %@!@% is idai?
<dlphoto> It's where idiots are from.

#10009 (363)

<Cosmic_Bard> I've been caught masturbating before, by my mom. Dosen't sound quite as bad as that, but it was embarassing nontheless. Ysee, it was to those dancing girls in Duke Nukem 3d. The ones that'll only flash you if you hit the spacebar and duke goes "Wanna Dance?" and "Shake it baby!" I think that's what alerted my mother.
<Cosmic_Bard> So now I always turn the speakers off when I masturbate.

#10010 (244)

* Shi-chan beats Tino down
<Shi-chan> DIE
<Tino> haha
* Shi-chan takes out a spoonn
<Shi-chan> DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS
<ilifin> there is no spoon

#10012 (254)

<Cosmic_Bard> King-Bob: You're about as articulate as Johnny cochrane, born an epilleptic claustrophic retard, in a small room with a strobe light.

#10015 (837)

<RageATM> im allergic to porn it makes my dick swell

#10019 (920)

<Mormi> Fucked my girlfriend up the ass last night...
<Sp[A]rK> no shit...
<Mormi> Well... some..

#10021 (316)

<matts> I was on vacation and I saw this casino advertisement on the highway: "LOOSEST $1 SLOTS" and they had a picture of a woman on it and then I realized that this casino ad could be taken the wrong way :P

#10022 (57)

<DragonOnna> Roninjoey, Uses of an AOL disk, #68. Earmuffs (glue some fur on one side, then attach a U-shaped piece of bent coathanger to both disks).
<Zibro> DragonOnna, Uses for a shitty script, #58. NOTHING. (ie: no use, so don't use it because it's fucking stupid)

#10025 (1368)

<a_passerby> I want a :D drive instead of a D: drive

#10028 (1752)

#10034 (316)

<duckman> do you say gash?
<A|exander> not in polite company
<IonSurge> haha
<IonSurge> who here is polite company?
<A|exander> oops typo
<A|exander> meant police custody

#10051 (59)

<g5r3> can anybody hack me with my whois?

#10052 (1075)

<Kiz`> a semi decent looking girl can get laid whenever she wants
<Kiz`> just go up to a guy
<Kiz`> "sex?"
<Kiz`> a guy can't do such things
<Yuffie> Maybe you haven't gone up to the right guy?

#10058 (383)

<eV`Zenoge> Isn't herpies food?
<eV`Zenoge> like chocolate
<eV`Zenoge> wait a minute
<eV`Zenoge> thats hershes

#10067 (207)

<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like Oprah retains water

#10068 (163)

<X> any windows machine i have is behind my FreeBSD router.
<X> and that's tighter than a cows ass at fly time

#10071 (263)

<Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to always say "Uh huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.