#961538 (87)
<Lauren> I have this recurring javascript error
<Lauren> Uncaught TypeError: Illegal invocation
<gasp> did you try running it during full moon ?
#961647 (108)
<Shoe> Saw the back of a semi-cab today.
<Shoe> It had the text: Jesus Never Tapped Out
<The_Purple_Bunny> No but he did get pinned.
#961650 (70)
<DrSeuss> I am thinking about the sequel to the vat in the hat
<DrSeuss> It will have theoretical chemistry
<fourbitfox> Oh the Crystals You'll Grow?
<DrSeuss> YES
<fourbitfox> Sounds more like the G rated version of Breaking Bad.
#961655 (163)
<matthiaskrgr> had to have my arm amputated
<matthiaskrgr> on the other hand, I am completely fine
#961662 (317)
<W> Tatjun needs a date
<L> The dude couldn't get a date if he polled a time server.
#961713 (86)
<+se5a> I know a pacifist who joined the army
<+se5a> so that he had a balanced world view
<+ekolis> True Neutral alignment FTW
#961714 (5)
<mceel>What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout?
<Big G>Idk what?
<mceel>Boyscouts come back from camp.
<Big G>Thats a very touchy subject. My great grandpa died in a concentration camp.
<mceel>Oh I'm sorry
<Big G>He was shooting jews and fell of the guard tower.
<mceel>.-.
#961718 (171)
ivy: A man named William Reed's last living testament says that he is going to read his own will
ivy: Will Reed's will will read: "Will Reed will read Will Reed's will".
Elyse: no
Elyse: it's his son will reed junior
Elyse: except will reed senior was so far gone with alzheimers that usually when someone's talking about will reed they're talking about his son, junior
Elyse: he isn't completely running the family business into the ground but he still longs for the times his father, the true biz-wiz, was running things better than ever
Elyse: but now those times are in the ground with his dad
Elyse: still can't believe he's gone
ivy: what the fuck elyse
#961720 (189)
<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down
#961741 (59)
<jryan> Why is TheJazBand in the topic.
<TheJazBand> jryan: i had a seizure yesterday.
<jryan> Ohhh.
<jryan> How'd that go
#961762 (109)
<AAA> Singapore is believed to have the highest prevalence of myopia in the world; up to 80% of people there have myopia
<AAA> yikes
<BBB> i bet they never seen it coming
#961780 (166)
<Haz> started my internship today
<Haz> they banged a gong no less than six times first thing in the morning after a meeting
<fwilson> yeah, that's part of agile
#961783 (168)
<Joe> my friend told me to google kurea hasumi
<Joe> and I did
<Joe> that was a mistake
<Denwa> Don't like jav's, Joe?
<Joe> no, by mistake I mean I have 27 active torrents running now
#961801 (85)
<retry> i miss bathing in hot springs
<retry> in japan that's something you can just do whenever you feel like it
<fuckyou> except they call it bukkake
#962108 (263)
<Humbedooh> Roses are red, leaves are green, but only Java has AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean
#962113 (233)
<@realitygaps> english - the php of spoken languages
#962153 (153)
<Zygo> if you're not finding errors, you're not looking hard enough
<lazy_bum> Is this some kind of woman motto?
#962213 (703)
<Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
#962292 (571)
<cpb> wonder if there's a strip club that needs a linux admin...
<clockwork> i was about to balk at that but then i thought about it and realized strip clubs don't have windows
#962365 (392)
<+Skerper> I remember once in first year CS
<+Skerper> this guy asked me to tutor him
<+Skerper> was absolutely devastated that he'd gotten a 0 for his programming assignment
<+Skerper> so he shows it to me
<+Skerper> and he's literally written an essay on how to make the program
<nugyflex> what the fuck
<+Skerper> complete with stock images and references
<BlackMoon> hahah
<+Jattenalle> haha, aaw
<+Skerper> but no actual program
<nugyflex> ahahha
<+Jattenalle> poor innocent little child
<+Skerper> Never had such an "oh sweety" moment in my life
<nugyflex> how does that happen
<+Skerper> I have no fucking idea, it was the most awkward thing
<nugyflex> how can that possibly happen...
<+Skerper> I don't know how he got it into his head that that was the assignment
<+Skerper> considering it had to be handed up to an automarker
<+Skerper> that compiles it and tests output
<nugyflex> Oooo nooo
<nugyflex> tries to compile essay
<nugyflex> rip
#962517 (443)
<diegov[m]> What's the name of that js programming mmo?
<zer0def> uh, github?
#962644 (79)
<blaxthos> milo == ann coulter minus the penis
#962656 (294)
< Dustin> I was talking to a French friend earlier. He was annoyed that English didn't have a word for a specific kind of pride like French does. I pointed out that the French having more words for pride is like the Inuits having more words for snow.
< Dustin> He didn't laugh. =[
#962685 (238)
<omglolbah> our official template database had a digital test logic page called "DIGITEST" (from the times when we used 8.3 filenames)
<omglolbah> so my coworker needed to create one for analog test logic <.<
<omglolbah> I got to write the docs for "Template: ANALTEST"
#962689 (148)
<Mosai> my habit of buying junk food significantly diminished when they took the self checkouts out of the nearby safeway
<Mosai> since i now have to look another human being in the face when i purchase stuff now