#925464
(2150)<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night.... <yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda. <yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone. <yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing. The timing on that was impeccable. #925489
(37)<+fuji@2ch> Basically, he and his second wife, not my mother, got in a fight. He kicked her out and started drinking massively. <th0r> ah, fuck alcohol >.< one of the worst materials we ever created <+fuji@2ch> He spent awhile sitting alone in the house with no food and few hundred scotch bottles. <th0r> That's crazy... how's everything now? <+fuji@2ch> He basically fried out his brain,and went crazy and started building a fort in the middle of a busy street. <th0r> ... what? Seriously? <+fuji@2ch> yeah, no kidding. <th0r> That sounds more like something a paranoid schizophrenic would do... <+fuji@2ch> Yeah, well maybe there's some other issues going on. #925490
(532)< Nooblender> on an unrelated note i had to wake up early after staying up late to have breakfast with my hot nieces, so i went to sleep at 8 pm but woke up at midnight, wtf < that_guy> on a related note do you realize how creepy 'hot nieces' sounds? #925493
(364)<Party> asians are cool, it's the closest your ever gonna get to fucking an alien #925495
(9)<dux0r> giving head must be weird as fuck <moot> lol <dux0r> cause uve got like <dux0r> a pee utensil <dux0r> in ur mouth <dux0r> like a chunky hotdog <moot> xD <dux0r> what a weird thought <sudo> your penis is like a chunky hotdog? #925505
(318)<JPierre> Helping noobs on IRC who refuse to listen is an all-too-common waste of time. <biznatch> It's like you have this talking horse and the talking horse says "I'm thirsty" then you lead the horse to some water and it still won't drink. <PVicky> Simple solution: slaughter it for the meat. #925507
(717)<windAd> haha, epic. <Choonsen> What is? <windAd> I set my password for my new keylogger program once it was up and running, got distracted by cooking ramen, came back and forgot the password <Choonsen> Shit dude... you're retarded <windAd> Noo, its all okay... I just went into the log files and found out what I typed while in the program. Two minutes later I now know that my password was 'ramenalmostdone' #925509
(1105)<Gper>Anyway, mates what's your New Year resolution? <PowerBuddy> Gotta learn harder >.< <RoznaM> Less porn, more chicks. <Gper> Hej, Z, what's yours? <Ziame> Thought about 1280x960 #925516
(93)<Ardennes[Q]> fat people lag. <guyman> lol <Deviant> so your mom must have dced when she gave birth to you <khagin> lmao #925768
(1041)<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ? <p5Ds13a06> you can't buy alcoholics <p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free #925789
(-8)<@The_Happy_Chemical> Nigga I know you have, I could name some song that was created 10 minutes ago by a hobo bashing his face off a dumpster and you'd have heard it #925793
(1780)<Rei> who lived in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS <Rei> who died in an oil spill because of bp, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! #925835
(1443)<pronto> i like my women how i like my filesystems ... FAT and 16 #925847
(742)<livin> your cousin is a titerope walker, rite? <luckyest> he committed suicide by jumping off during a performance two months ago. <livin> maybe he was a bit *imbalanced* <luckyest> you're a dick, you know that right? #925919
(1037)SpicyLemon: Jesus died for my sins. I figure, it's best to not let him die in vain. I sin as much as possible. #926329
(4440)<N00b>Can someone explain cell division? <Nerd> o <Nerd> 0 <Nerd> 8 <Nerd> oo #926559
(924)< Stalin> You could put out ads in magazines and online and such, guaraunteed 25-30 lbs weight loss overnight or your money back < Stalin> and then send them instructions on how to amputate one of their legs #926566
(506)<tic`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit <MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick #926627
(3273)<Javelin> Oh. <Javelin> My. <Javelin> God. <Javelin> We have a unit here. It's about the size of a small speaker. <Javelin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER." <Javelin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?" <Javelin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..." <Javelin> Next thing I hear: *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" <Javelin> Now they're pissed at ME. <Javelin> Because THEY couldn't read. <Javelin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher." <Javelin> I hate people. #926695
(1319)Aquillar> hey, you guys ever play kmem russian roulette? Agnostos> I don't believe I have. care to explain the details? Aquillar> dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/kmem bs=1 count=1 seek=$RANDOM Aquillar> keep executing until system crashes Aquillar> person that crashes system has to buy beer Agnostos> lol Agnostos> I wonder if I can sneak that into a server startup script here. #927499
(922)<GOD|away> Crackheads will rule this country! We will rise up! And teach you all that we are the superior race... <GOD|away> WHITE POWDER! #927751
(1917)<rdubyaj> dude this car I saw.... <rdubyaj> was really dusty <rdubyaj> and someone had written on it "I wish my wife was this dirty" <rdubyaj> and underneath that someone else had written "she is" #928168
(270)<Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to drinking. <Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory. <@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense. <Xnoia> I do. <@RWolf> did. <Xnoia> Damn it! #928475
(662)Matoyak: We caught a catfish with some weird-ass face tentacles... Matoyak: That's the best way I can describe these things. Tru: lol Tru: I thought weird-ass face tentacles was a defining characteristic of catfish... Matoyak: It wasn't like whiskers...these things were half as long as the fish itself, and almost as thick. Matoyak: Heh, these were above and beyond the call of duty for catfish face tentacles. Matoyak: Weird-ass sunovabitch. Tru: hehehe Tru: mutant Matoyak: Yeah. It was big enough to keep, but we tossed it back cause we weren't going to eat something that looked that fucked up. Tru: if you eat a mutant catfish, perhaps you get mutant catfish superpowers... I wonder what those would be? Matoyak: ... Matoyak: The ability to become a bottom-sucking scum eater? Matoyak: Hrmmm Matoyak: So you become a politician. #928768
(907)TRex-o: I want to settle an argument. Am I an invasive species? sjackso: invasive species reproduce