Frag_Fandango: Dare you to ask him for anal sex with the line 'Ream Me Up, Scotty'
Frag_Fandango: Dare you to ask him for anal sex with the line 'Ream Me Up, Scotty'
<_kw> yeah, use 'numbers' instead
* MachinShi (~vat@cpe-76-95-36-105.socal.res.rr.com) Quit (Quit: Leaving)
<NoGods> Yup.
<JFalcon> really? "She used her digits to arouse herself" vs. "She used numbers to arouse herself". One changes a simple pleasing into an orgy.
<_kw> you have a sick mind
<Artifice> Really? I was thinking math inclined librarian in the second one
<_kw> GOOD MAN
<Merines> I know what I'm going to be for Halloween now
SecureXeC: IT'S TO THE LEFT OF YOUR 'A' KEY.
<twat> I use pcp and H.
<Labyrinth> And you really ought to have a pair of boxers with 404: not found.
<Neal> catgirls
<Phoenix> well, coincidentally I also have to do a Japanese thesis paper
<Phoenix> and writing about anime/manga/catgirls/mawaii would be not at all out of line with what all the other undergrads in the major are doing for their SENIOR THESIS, and so it's really no wonder that the department head no longer gives a flying fuck about any of his students
<Neal> my thesis is on why the escalation of power in dragon ball z is unrealistic
<Phoenix> with the exception of Goku*
<Neal> my thesis is FRIEZA SUX!!!!!
<Phoenix> Working from the equation PowLev(X+1) = PowLev(X) * 1.10, I find it illogical that two super seiyan's with respective levels 100,000 and 500,000 should be able to subdue another super seiyan with power level 750,000
<Phoenix> From that perspective, this paper attempts to repudiate the outcome of the Battle of Dragon Mount and propose an alternate ending to the Dragon Ball Z saga
<[CJ]> i won't answer that
(@Fantasy) yep, I blame that evil midget in rehab
(refused) no rehab is complete without an evil midget
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in the balls
(refused) LOL
(@Fantasy) and he was the perfect height
(refused) rofl
(Bucks) rofl
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) that midget
(refused) ... yeah obviously... but come on.
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(refused) lol
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) then on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(refused) you kinda deserved it then
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(refused) yeah of course
(@Fantasy) crying
(refused) I'd give that fucking midget a medal
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(Bucks) what an wesome midget
(@Fantasy) had to get a new roomate after that
(@Fantasy) since the midget was my roomate
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets
geekryan: lol
yetiamchosen: And he's like, "Dude! Are you alright!" I'm like, "KEEP RUNNING!" and I speed up a little bit, chuckling inside. And then it really hits me and I'm like, going full speed, just hurling all over the side of the road, wiping my mouth, running, hurling and he looks at the puke and he goes, "OH MY GOD ARE YOU PUKING BLOOD!"
geekryan: HAHAHAHA
yetiamchosen: And I go, "THAT'S NOT BLOOD IT'S CONFIDENCE AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" And I just blast off like a little red streaming rocket ship. I look behind me and this kid seriously look like he's just about to piss his pants, like, "Oh my god, what the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I got up to the front and this marine looks at me and goes, "Were you really puking up blood?" I'm like, "No devil, it's monster," and he just laughs, he's like, "You're going to hell."
yetiamchosen: That's it. I was chuckling inside all the way home.
geekryan: that really is awesome
geekryan: I can't imagine how freaked out that recruit was
yetiamchosen: I hope he doesn't sleep well again until he gets to boot camp.
<DryBones> Nope.
<MurderMachine> Well, there are two versions I guess.
<DryBones> How?
<MurderMachine> The story my Mum tells is: A group of idiots pushed her over while ice skating and my Dad heroically went over and helped her up.
<MurderMachine> The story my Dad tells is: He paid a group of idiots to go push her over so he could go heroically help her up.
<DryBones> ROFL
<MurderMachine> I have been paid not to tell her.
twins421: ..why
kawiz: its like... digging for water in a different spot in the desert
kawiz: sure, it's different... but you're still not gonna get any
twins421: ...............
twins421: wow
twins421: just ..wow
kawiz: i know
kawiz: i have profound analogies
<Chris281>I kept dreaming that all of my data was lost because my harddrives crashed
<Chris281>And my backups were nowhere to be found, so the situation was fubar
<Chris281>So I woke up, soaked in sweat and checked whether my backupjob was running
<Chris281>And it wasn't because for some reason the LTO drive was jammed
<Vantheman>It's the classic nerd-shining
<niiiiike> im fluent :D
<imp0rt> K can you help me say
<imp0rt> I would like to welcome you to our neighbourhood
<imp0rt> sounds cheesy i know but they got some hot daughter :P
<niiiiike> erm..
<niiiiike> Me gustaria chupar los senos de su hija
<imp0rt> You sreious?
<niiiiike> Yeh, got it off translater tho XD
<imp0rt> K ty :)
<imp0rt> brb daughter flirting time ;)
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<|t34b4gg1n|> That isn't right is it?
<niiiiike> Course not XD it means i wanna suck on you daughters tits ahahahha
<|t34b4gg1n|> You, sir are evil XD
about 10 minutes later
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<imp0rt> Fuck you nike fuckin tellin me bullshit
<niiiiike> WHAT?!?! Man you must have pronouned something wrong
<niiiiike> cos like
<niiiiike> if you say "sen" "os" it means somethin like rubbish
<niiiiike> so you would've insulted their house
<niiiiike> its pronouned
<niiiiike> "sien" "yos"
<imp0rt> oh, i didn't know :\
<imp0rt> ima go tell em again, hopefully they'll understand
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<|t34b4gg1n|> i almosts feel sorry for him
<niiiiike> not me.
<@nondescript> why do you need a big resolution for child porn
<@nondescript> kids are pretty small
<plot> so they join the preisthood to try to combat it
<plot> but give into their urges anyways
<plot> and their urges end up all over the face of a 12 year old alterboy
<pastafareye> Kansas?
<IronAngel> moms chest?
<pastafareye> Bush's EEG?
<pastafareye> Cheney's EKG?
<IronAngel> obamas abs?
<_yoda_> both were loser/weirdos
<_yoda_> the moral of the story is most ppl on irc are losers/weirdos
<amorfati> that's not really a large enough sample to draw any conclusions from
<amorfati> maybe you just got lucky
<amorfati> next person you meet might be a full-fledged psycho :D
< cor_vi> you lost the need, the need for speed?
rhys_rhaven: questions are cute
rhys_rhaven: but the real way to understand a person is simple
rhys_rhaven: you wind a cord around the top of the biggest pair of stairs you can find
rhys_rhaven: and then you wait till a person is about to walk down the stairs, where they will obviously trip and have horrible things happen to them
rhys_rhaven: and then you walk 20 feet way. and you put a thing of frozen bacon in a skillet
rhys_rhaven: and you make the skillet so it can only be heated by a locked drum underneath it, which can be lit only by a single pilot light, which you then line with det cord trailing to a small mortar next to it. which you fill with kittens
rhys_rhaven: hungry, meowing kittens
MisVampyre: oh. my. god.
rhys_rhaven: And lastly you put a timer on the on the propane for the bacon. So they have a choice
rhys_rhaven: save the person
rhys_rhaven: save the kittens
rhys_rhaven: or eat the bacon
MisVampyre: you're awesome
MisVampyre: omg..eat the bacon
rhys_rhaven: Thats it. I love you