#698311
(41)Tarrock: Did you guys hear what happened at the tickle me elmo factory?! Julep Dee: Nope? Trey Blacktail: blew up? Trey Blacktail: *hopes* Tarrock: Well.... the other day at the tickle me elmo factory a man went into the manager's office and complained about a woman outside. "She's holding up the line," he says. "I don't know what we're going to do. We'll never get this done. You have to do something!" Tarrock: So the manager gets up and walks outside where he finds the woman with red cloth and a bag of marbles. She was wrapping the marbles in the cloth and then sewing them on the tickle me elmos. The manager burst out laughing Tarrock: He says. "I'm sorry mam. I think you misunderstood my instructions... I told you to give them a couple of "test tickles" #698341
(2000)<Xenecrite> Guys, I found the greatest glitch! <Xenecrite> It's one of those ads where you have to hit the target. <Xenecrite> You can click anywhere on it and you STILL get the prize! <Xenecrite> 53 free laptops for me! #699058
(114)DragonSiege: you people have acronyms for everything siwelwerd: i can't think of anything that E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. stands for #699080
(499)<RockWolf> one time my friend tried to kill himself by taking 30 advil. <RockWolf> i was like dude...why take 30 advil when you can take 3 aleve? =D #699087
(940)<Spock> have you ever noticed how closely the jehovas witnesses resemble the sith? <Spock> they always come in pairs of two <Spock> one Master and one apprentice #699226
(316)KiRBYdaCREAMpuff: I saw the funniest thing today, a group of white guys putting a roof on a mexican restaurant #699229
(936)<antisocial_boris> hmm, my code isnt working, i need a break <hapchi> well, keep in mind it must be inside a while or for loop #699245
(1038)<anaemic> i like the word inflamable, because its like throwing a curveball at the foreigners in a very dangerous and potentially entertaining way #699258
(786)<caddoo> why do you need condoms sent to you discreetly, you can get them in toilets, schools, chemists and they are all pretty discrete. <EvilDr.X> I dunno, man. I had a friend who used a condom he found in a toilet, he got a really bad infection. #699308
(4200)<Ich> I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or riled up by racism <Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes <Ich> nor feminism, nazism, <Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl <Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody <Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PC's, things get ugly #699415
(186)< dadexter> I stopped using reiserfs because some of my data went missing and my HDD died... ironic, isn't it? #699602
(1082)Mike: i downloaded a virus to test my current virus protector. guess what, it failed the test #699804
(585)<spree> downloading movies takes so freaking long <videogameaholic> set it and forget it <spree> i set it hours ago <spree> i want to watch it before i sleep <spree> i imagine it'd be even worse with chicken <spree> if i stuck a chicken in the oven, there's no way i'd forget it <spree> i'd be staring hungrily at it for hours <videogameaholic> you kidding? when I put a burrito in the microwave and push 90 seconds, I grab a bag of chips. #699884
(49)ScottDoom1944: I have had several customers inquiring about the Wii, but none had inquired about the 360 previously and none have inquired about the PS3. h0ckeygod: That's because you work at Toys R Us. #699957
(884)<Klaatu> Man, I don't know why your g/f has sex with you so much. With your micro wang and all. <Hl1> Psh, it's not the size of the hull. It's the motion of the ocean. <Klaatu> Aye, but it's mighty hard to cross the Atlantic in a dingy. #700007
(1517)<Navatalin> What do we want? less premature ejaculation! When do we want it? ...ahhh shit :( #700015
(297)<nonplused> guys <nonplused> what starts up apache on reboot <quadra> hmm it sounds like a native american thing <quadra> so the answer must be Alcohol #700091
(4237)<Swiich> dude, that girl i went on a date with last night was really dumb <Cindy> fuck you too <Swiich> shit, wrong window #700101
(478)<LionClaw> i tried to OD on pain relievers once <nanNette> :/ <LionClaw> i didnt have a headache for about 2 months #700280
(49)<dauphin> wrath, what do you mean in a sense you're also african? <wrath> cause i was born here <dauphin> are you black? <wrath> no <GWF> yeah, you arent african wrath <GWF> if a dog is born in a stable it doesnt make it a horse #700435
(1519)<starmantaav> so i just realized yesterday <starmantaav> i work at a mongolian bbq <starmantaav> next door to a chinese restaurant <starmantaav> shouldn't we have a bigass wall between us? #700480
(530)assmuncher: any idea who's in the running for president next election? sinistercanadian: ahhnold sinistercanadian: he sneaks into the capitol building every night and re arranges 7 letters on the constitution sinistercanadian: by mid 2007 he will be eligible for president #700491
(425)Skuddward: i love wal-mart's footwear department teddy: "Flip Flops, Buy 2 get 1 free!" #700591
(596)Zizzy: The Bible was the first known recorded Wiki, proving once and for all that Wikis are destined to be screwed up by a bunch of teenagers. #700613
(345)[Synista]: You know what would have been cool [Synista]: if in the superman movie, they had him break a horse's back