<scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor
<scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up
<scytale> was cooking something, piece of food fell on the floor
<scytale> dog ate it up, then threw up
<vic> it's way more than you need
<Jewass> no way
<Jewass> i need to feel my cleanest
<Jewass> and we have lo-flo shower heads at my house
<Nosnam> Its not a lo-flo shower head. It's a low bandwidth shower head.
<Kurt> golden showers
<Nosnam> golden showers would be AOL
<Nosnam> A dialup shower head is one where you have to stand there for 10 minutes before the water starts coming out
<Nosnam> I use a cisco router with my shower. It's load distribution sprays my entire body at once
<Nosnam> I forgot to enable WEP encryption on my 802.11G shower... I was showering, and my neighbor joined me
<Chamuyo> I remember back in my time when you had to order your water and it got delivered in paper envelopes with stamps glued on them
<vic> that's taking it to far
<vic> gtfo
<d0pp> :D
<d0pp> It echoed through the entire store.
<DM|Rigs> :(
<Munter> Jesus loves you!
<Sirak> Everybody else thinks you're a cunt
< mine9> 1.03 million for music
< mine9> 324,420 for computers
< mine9> and a measly 196,490 for sex
< mine9> talk about boring people...
< nub> that's because they're on livejournal. look up "masturbation"
ThePseudoNerd: And later on, I hadn't finished my drink, so this kid says, "Finish your beer. Think of all the sober kids in Africa."
trevmaniscool: my day was horrible, i lost a 20 dollar bill, got beat up, and was late for all my classes
vampiriclord98: dang
vampiriclord98: why u get beat up?
trevmaniscool: For stealing a 20 dollar bill when I should have been going to class
<videogameaholic> yep
<Zach> You get any hot chicks on the internet yet?
<videogameaholic> wtf? There aren't any chicks on the internet.
<Zach> You gotta do what I do. I get onto one of them lesbian chatrooms and pretend to be a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> I bet the other 60 "horny lesbians" in that room think they are just as clever as you.
<Zach> no no no, they're really women, they send me naked pictures
<videogameaholic> What do you do when they ask for yours?
<Zach> I send them a pic of a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> ...
<Zach> No seriously, they're all lesbians.
<videogameaholic> If you say so...
<Zach> damn straight.
<videogameaholic> I'm sure you are.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway, so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.
<jon334> girlfriends are never perfect, m8
<sword> well last night while she was giving me a back massage she asked me whether i wanted anything to eat or a blowjob or both. i said that im a bit tired so she got me a beer from the fridge and said that i should make myself comfortable
<sword> cause she still hadnt finished my home assignment for the PHP class and she wanted to check /. too
<jon334> she good looking?
<sword> id say so, yea
<jon334> MARRY HER! NOW
<M3atwad> he comes up behind my while im doin homework and gives me back rubs
<M3atwad> i don't know if it's sexual harrassment
<M3atwad> or if he's happy im doin my homework so that he doesnt get arrested for me dropping out of school
<M3atwad> ...
<Kylie> your dads a perv
<magik8> ur dads a perv
<op_01001> your dad's a perv
<dysc404> your droppin out?
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont you eat this root."
<baconbits> And the AOL guy is dumping chili and jello and crap on the guy's sandwich saying that it's "Spam and viruses"
<baconbits> And then he's like "Which would you rather have, Regular highspeed with viruses and spam, or highspeed internet with AOL?
<baconbits> I got the best parody for that.
<baconbits> The guys are standing in line
<baconbits> Getting food.
<baconbits> And the Regular highspeed guy takes a crap on the sandwich
<baconbits> And says "Which would you rather have, my regular highspeed, or highspeed with AOL on it?
<nxn> I put down an X in the middle and she's like "OMFG CAMPER!!"
Dan: there was this shop with the sign "coffee corn" above it
Dan: it was meant to be 2 different signs but it looked like one
Dan: and this girl that was with us asked "WTF is coffee corn"
Dan: then later we walked around the other side and the other part of the sign said "nuts juice"
<ziz> apparently they had a lot of failures early in the manufacturing process
<ziz> but now they're happy with it
<ziz> and some embedded network appliance makers have begun using them in their webservers
<ziz> so the name of this thing is the "Dothan"
<ziz> and i keep thinking "...what, so many Dothans died to bring me this information?"
<Joesmurf> by mistake
<Nortica> You fuck her?
<Joesmurf> I had no clothes on and started talking real dirty before my actual gf came in...
<Nortica> hahah
<Joesmurf> Yeah that morning coffee was like none other ... all three of us cramped around that little table, all thinking about what had happened, and no one saying anything except like "lovely morning out" and "think it's sposed to rain later"
<Nortica> funny shit
<Joesmurf> I think her mum was semi into it ... mite break up with my gf and go after her dirty hoe mum
<Joesmurf> plus I wouldn't have to move
<RobinHood> heh
<Kronovohr> so...you're like #GGGGGG?
<Bork_Tanbey> then they're going to have to start thinking retroactively
<Bork_Tanbey> The Sims: Text RPG
<Bork_Tanbey> "Buy Washing machine"
<Bork_Tanbey> "place washing machine north of dryer"
<Hotwire> "rotate east"
<Hotwire> "rotate east"
<Hotwire> "change color to red"
<Bork_Tanbey> "impregnate slutty neighbor"
<Hotwire> "slap neighbour and run from child support"
<Bork_Tanbey> "challenge everything!"
<+fork> on the contrary, my dildos are double-sided
<+fork> diodes. ok