QDB — Browse Quotes

#453350 (558)

<sukumade> i'm out like michael j fox in jenga

#453511 (692)

LightGrayMage: all the technology in the world doesn't matter if the majority of your population is mind numbingly stupid.

#453525 (1339)

<Tealos> no
<panthy> =(
<Tealos> turn that frown upside down
<Tealos> )=

#453589 (722)

<Don> scyth, I come here for the loving people and atmosphere happy.gif
<scyth> I come here because I forgot to remove it from my auto-connect list

#453626 (289)

<@Carmen> I wish I did all the things I wanted to do to my EX before we broke up
<@Carmen> Selling her to that guy out east for 6000 would have been a good start
<@Deadlymouse> should have taken four goats and a Camel when you were offered it
<@Carmen> Ya would have gotten more from the goat

#453932 (921)

<Orthodox> deutschland 11e hier is 18, haltet mich gefaelligst davon ab glei zu verschwinden und die chinesische wodkaflasche zu exen
!kick!: <Orthodox> was kicked by <Pidda> [I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.]

#454094 (610)

#454110 (1251)

Awesomest771: god damn jeff's been at blockbuster for 2 hours, where the fuck is he
Einhander MKII: that was a pretty stupid question

#454183 (1459)

spoonsucker: I ordered pizza today (not from Pizza Hut because they're not open for lunch on Mondays or something) but the delivery driver was a 45 year old Italian-looking lady with six times too much makeup on. My dad was home on his lunch break and saw her leaving. Then he came storming into my room demanding to know if I'd just had sex with a hooker =

#454203 (8331)

<drmason> there was this one time I was wanking to porn...
<drmason> ... I kept a javascript tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing
<drmason> so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
<drmason> alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
<drmason> I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
<drmason> and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javascript tutorial"

#454510 (780)

< Cronos Gabliani > I personally belive that in any situation that you expect a kick in the balls, and you get a slap in the face, thats a victory.

#454512 (1995)

<@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
<@Matt> 1.
<@Matt> 2.
<@Matt> 3.
<@Matt> 4.
<@Matt> 5.
<@Matt> 6.
<@Matt> 7.
<@Matt> 8.
<@Matt> 9.
<@Matt> 10. Women have tits

#454578 (1231)

Opti: i was really bored... had 2 options... 1) watch paint dry 2) come to #general
Opti: i chose the paint...
Opti: but thats dry now :/

#454669 (693)

kinky kinsey: oh yeah...wanna bet?
Steel: would i lose?
kinky kinsey: yes
Steel: then no. i dont wanna bet

#454774 (955)

<Kahlzarg> Jesus dies i get chocolate.. jesus is born I get presents.. works for me..

#454906 (1326)

<Biomech-> i took a shit earlier that weighed about 200g, well unimpressed
<Nezzie> so, do you actually scoop it out of the toilet?
<Biomech-> im slightly more sophisticated than that
<@cai> you're weighing shit, how sophisticated can it get?

#455050 (1446)

* Hawk boots up Windows
<Beyonder> It's like a million mac users cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced...
<suds|finals> lol
<Beyonder> wait.. make that 5000 mac users, let's be realistic
<Evs> LOL
<SysError> XD

#455441 (999)

<BoTGoD> In the wet season, when my house lies at the eye of a particularly savage thunderstorm storm, lightning all around and power out, i like to masturbate - it makes me feel like i am thor.

#455450 (1109)

<@Vegetarian> i cant wait till i die, im either gonna have "BRB" or "AFK" on my tombstone..

#455543 (735)

Denomination: i almost read a whole pamphlet about child abuse
Kristen: why?
Denomination: it had pictures

#455720 (1151)

<Dram> XP is basicly 98 with a lot more extra features to hunt down and disable

#455735 (569)

<Match> you shouldve seen the confused look on her face
<Match> it's like we dropped her in the middle of china and asked her to find a mr. chang

#455771 (1087)

Dan: When I die, I wouldn't want any one to find my pr0n. Someone needs to create encrypted mpeg/divx.
Presmike: all the passwords would be cracked in no time because they have to be easy enough to type with one hand.
Dan: O_o

#456050 (948)

<THE_RAVEN> asl?
<BlackstarII> 41/m/neverland
<BlackstarII> wanna sleep over?

#456278 (1172)

<+blotch> howcome you never see a black santa
<@SantaReul> what are the chances of a black man breaking into people's houses to *leave* things