QDB — Browse Quotes

#447839 (418)

Nick: yeah the other day i was late for work and kinda half-pushed this lady over
Nick: like, the lady fell completely over
Nick: but i was only half responsible

#447880 (812)

<zerox-> who has paypal
<KermyAWAY> thousands upon thousands of people
<zerox-> ok who has paypal that would be willing to do me a favor
<KermyAWAY> no one
<zerox-> ok let me rephrase it 1 more time
* SNguyen sets mode: +o zerox-
<@zerox-> who wants to do me a favor or else be banned

#447902 (718)

<DEADGIRL> IM BACK NIGGERS
<J0SH> u spelt black wrong

#447906 (915)

LoCo643: if you masterbate to the same girl more then 10 times, it is ok to call them your girlfriend
LoCo643: its a rule

#447941 (837)

<T-Dragonus> There was a young fellow named Bliss
<T-Dragonus> Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
<T-Dragonus> For even with Venus
<T-Dragonus> His recalcitrant penis
<T-Dragonus> Would never do better than t
<T-Dragonus> h
<T-Dragonus> i
<T-Dragonus> s
<T-Dragonus> .

#447942 (412)

<T-Dragonus> Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!"
<T-Dragonus> Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now."

#447980 (321)

<holgie> One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom,The wife was getting out of the shower and the husband grabs her boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn`t need a bra." The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and says "If your ass was firmer you wouldn`t need a girdle." The wife is now pissed and is ploting her revenge. One day a week later the husband is getting out of the shower and the wife grabs his dick and says "If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn`t need your brother."

#448002 (263)

<LadyHitomi> save a tree eat a beaver

#448261 (630)

lab_rat_inph3ct3d: spiderman isnt the only one who gets his hands sticky on the web

#448314 (2258)

* badlands dials phone-a-hooker
<WhitAdept> phone brb

#448321 (476)

<Zonko> Ah bukkakke, the sport of kings.
<Snazzbot> A lot of kings!

#448392 (1220)

<GeneticFreak> The office is like a tree full of monkeys trying to climb up. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes...

#448446 (628)

<symbolik> RDX is so stupid even his windows taskbar clock flashes 12:00

#448477 (749)

<DavidC> I once got some beer bubblebath for my birthday. It looked and smelled just like beer, complete with a foamy head, and made me stink of beer for a week. No amount of bathing/showering/scrubbing would get rid of it.
<DavidC> But I was a student at the time, so no-one noticed.

#448569 (957)

<noc`> I like rice
<noc`> rice is good when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something

#448621 (219)

*** BennyHill has joined #lobby
<Benny_Hill> BOOBIES, TITS, CANS, BEWBEEIS, MUFFINS, BOULDERS, YABBOS, SWEATERMEAT, JIGGLERS, BAZOOMS, MEAT PUPPETS, MILK WAGONS, JUBBLIES, BREASTESSES, HAPPYSACKS, TATAS, BAAABOOMS, TWIN PEAKS, TWEETERS, CHI CHI'S, COCONUTS, BOOBLATINES, MAMAMAMARRIES, SWEATER PUPPIES, BAGOS, FLESH BAGS, WHOOPERS, PILLOWS, BOYS TOYS, DOUBLE MOUNDS, TEATS
<Benny_Hill> GLOBES OF WONDER, BAZONGAS, BOSOMS, BLOUSE WEASELS, BIG'UNS, MELONS, TITILATIONS, BAZOOKAS, JIGGLYS, HOOTERS, BREASTS, JOY TOYS, SQUEEZIES, KNOCKERS, FAKE O BAGOS, JUGS, RACK, WUBBAS, KNOBS, HEADLIGHTS, FUNBAGS, PUPPIES, and of course WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION !!!!
<ProfessorEvil> :O
<ProfessorEvil> I don't think i've ever seen it put so eloquently before.

#448637 (720)

<@KrayWolf> Microsoft Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.

#448646 (768)

his_madjesty: hey, I wake up in the middle of the night for all sorts of reasons.
his_madjesty: mostly to get up off the computer chair and go to bed.

#448929 (322)

<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> i have to go now
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> toodloo
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> au revoir
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> aufwierdershen
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> chin chow tay
* rohirrim-not-a-mofo was kicked by Sarumatt||Lurking (Or just plain "Goodbye.")

#448963 (697)

<Snowy_Duck> Intellegence - the new minority.

#448978 (279)

<Shortigo> damned CS.. I keep spelling "pearl" as "PERL"
<Jenny> ahahahaha
<Jenny> lol
<Shortigo> ironically I also find the need to add .cx on anything ending in "se"
<Shortigo> "... after examining the fine detailz on the base.cx"
<Jenny> hehe

#448982 (692)

#449033 (194)

<nubber> so my choices are a diseased crack whore (IE), a ball-busting advertising exec (opera), a 400-pound hairy woman (mozilla), and a needy money grubbing model (firefox)...

#449045 (459)

<Looney> godammit I d/led the wrong atlantis ep!
<Unruly> upload it and ask for a refund

#449083 (736)

<willo_sk> Wheee
<willo_sk> My $100 tires are rockin
<willo_sk> Another 50 for mount and balance tho :(
<willo_sk> I suspect that they fucked up my alignment
<willo_sk> Hosers
<josh> willo_sk: are you no longer chaotic good?