#287387 (-77)
<Mouldy_Llama> ok, I will come clean
<Mouldy_Llama> I only said I got with the chicken to look cool
#287414 (24716)
<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was
#287665 (2377)
garrett8675309: heard you threatened to shoot my girlfriend...
imptacular: yeah
garrett8675309: you should get your membership card in 7-10 days
#287868 (487)
<FuriousC> listening to music no one else cares about doesnt make you cool, its just means you're a ska fan
#287945 (-319)
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> U MAKE MY HEART POUND
#288357 (532)
<Calisa> When I was little I always wanted little people that could fit in the palm of my hand.
<JPGumby> they are called 'employees'
#288546 (137)
<Shockster> Did you hear about that woman that smoked dope in the streets of Baghdad? She was so stoned.
#288632 (2290)
<ThatOneDude> the last time somone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years
#289218 (5026)
<Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
<@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
<Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help *clap* *clap*
<@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
<@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
<Cedaie> yeah thats the one
<Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
<@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance
#289785 (858)
<xi> my parents sent me a fucking text message to tell me they put my dog down today
#289792 (409)
SuprJmpmanCarp00: I can't be the only one who finds it funny that KFC dumped Jason Alexander for their ads in favor of a room full of black people
#289910 (-517)
WC128: OMFG that pizza was orgasmic
WC128: it was as if God and Jesus and Mary just bukakked into my mouth
#290466 (2730)
<raven> Any cat people here? I've got a problem with Nicky...
<Leth> I've been known to be handy with a wok
<Lore> Why, I'm a cat person.
<raven> I took Morgan to the vet yesterday - he was gone for a total of 45 minutes, got two vaccs and a blood draw.
<raven> Brought him home and Nicky went BALLISTIC.
<raven> Spent the rest of the night yowling and hissing and attacking MOrgan.
<CrazyClimber> nicky smells the hospital smells on morgan
<Lore> Yeah, I've seen that happen.
<raven> Is there anything I can do to get the hospital stink off him, then? Pack his carrier in coffe grounds or something?
<tieboy> how about a bath
<CrazyClimber> just give it a day or so
<Lore> We tried catnip and butter, and neither worked.
<agent_orange> butter?
<agent_orange> you buttered your cat?
<Lore> Yes.
<raven> it's the best way to butter the house.
<raven> Cats are effective butter delivery units.
<Lore> We read somewhere to put butter on a cat's forehead.
<agent_orange> did the emolient facilitate insertion?
<Lore> And the other cat licks it off, and likes the first cat, because it tastes like butter.
<Lore> As I said, it didn't work.
<agent_orange> you read sopmewhere to put butter on the cats foreWHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING
<tieboy> rub the two cats together vigorously until they smell like each other
<agent_orange> piss on them both at the same time
<tieboy> KITTY TASTES LIKE BUTTER
<raven> It's more fun to put tape on their feet.
<agent_orange> why not do both
<agent_orange> and then get out the handycam
<Lore> I believe what I was thinking was "Maybe it will work. And even if it doesn't, I get to butter the cat's forehead."
<agent_orange> AFHV would *love* some footage of sticky-pawed, freshly buttered cats trying in vain to avoid a stream of steaming miller lite
<Samwise> You know what helps with feuding cats, Lore? Sending me lots of cash.
<agent_orange> now, see, I read somewhere --
<agent_orange> I think it was leviticus
<agent_orange> -- that what you should do is frost them
<agent_orange> betty crocker, right out of the can
<raven> Chocolate or buttercream?
<Leth> rave: go chocolate, buttercreme isn't pareve
<CrazyClimber> you're frosting meat?
<agent_orange> and then there'a always Cat Wellington
<agent_orange> "What are you doing in the kitchen, dear?" "Just buttering the cat, pumpkin!"
<agent_orange> "Why don't you baste the chicken while you're at it, too, dear?" "Baste the ... *light bulb* ...Sure! Sure, I'll 'baste the chicken'!"
<CrazyClimber> a google images search for "buttered cat" returns a picture of isaac hayes
<agent_orange> chocolate salty cat balls
#290896 (1555)
<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/
#291262 (9149)
<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense
#291399 (764)
<Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
<Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
<Kaelic> Wtf?
<Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!"
#291606 (243)
<Sholin> You know, I went to KFC the other day with my Mother, And she asked them if they had anything fried..
#291625 (611)
<CharColt64> I think when you get a roaming charge a lil icon should pop up, of a guy gettin fucked in the ass
#291648 (679)
<icekickr> i think i made my mom wonder why she ever had me
<icekickr> she told me she was going to a couples shower
<icekickr> so i said, "oh a gangbang"
<icekickr> i guess its times like that
#291655 (2787)
<vai> My mom is like, deathly afraid of worms and she saw one on the sidewalk
<vai> so she made me go get it and she went inside the house, so I went in the house with the worm in my hand
<vai> and she yelled my name and told me to get rid of it, so I threw it outside I came in the house
<vai> she called me an asshole and a son of a bitch
<vai> so I was like "son of a bitch?" she said "shut up, you're adopted go away"
<vai> =(
#291732 (625)
<SuperKing> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
<SuperKing> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
#291763 (854)
[+Hobbes] I was driving by a church on the way home and on the message board out front it said "Under new management"
#293414 (489)
<@knucklz> and i was going to make a joke about the shit i just took
<@knucklz> but it was corny
#294080 (76)
myke: my sex life is over before it began
myke: i'm married
#294084 (298)
* The_Epitome [Playing]: [Enya - Only Time] [3:40][3.36MB]
<Ochre> Enya? My father loves that Enya song at the end of LoTR
<Ochre> but usually by the end of the movie he's drunk as a post, so He'll pretty much listen to anything