<Edgy> Microsoft Works
<Edgy> Microsoft Works
<fugimax> so...
<fugimax> my balls in yo' mouth in like 3 hours?
<LockeCole> erm...if I'm available sure
<LockeCole> damn
<Borgis> Every time you turn the tap on, the water heater outside makes this loud 'BBBRRRAAAAPPPPP' noise
<Uric> yea
<Uric> that happened at my old house
<Uric> I dont know what it is
<Borgis> Your old house didn't explode or anything did it?
<+GPT> wtf is wrong with you... lol
<hi> yeah seriously you fuckin loser who the hell reads dilbert
Lord High Rikonian:: Because I want my whopper served to me on the stomach of a nubile quivering 19 year old's belly
Lord High Rikonian:: and I want her vagina filled with ketchup for dipping the fries
Lord High Rikonian:: but will Burger King do that? Nooooooooo
Lord High Rikonian:: fucking false advertisements
anastas:: ummm. Rik... that was nasty
Lord High Rikonian:: I know
Lord High Rikonian:: if a company says you can have it your way...
Lord High Rikonian:: then they should let you have it your way
Zerebus:: .....they obviously weren't referring to Lord High Rikonian.
Lord High Rikonian:: well obviously
Lord High Rikonian:: why must I be persecuted so by corporate America?
Zerebus:: because you're one sick bastard
<seisan> A survey of office workers in London found that almost three quarters would reveal their network-access password in exchange for a bar of chocolate.
<Echo|Fox> The same survey also revealed that 84% of male respondants would give up their bank PIN code for a blow job.
<CloneGamer> i just went to put this tape on and its at the bottom of the pile right..
<CloneGamer> so in true table cloth style i yanked it out swiftly
<CloneGamer> also in true table cloth style, it went miserably wrong and like 15 tapes landed on my head
<CloneGamer> and like then my mum come in, wondering wtf the commotion was
<CloneGamer> and like, i was also like a little 'uncovered' cus i was 'polishing'
<CloneGamer> and i see the door move and see her face and covered myself up but my balls were still showing
<CloneGamer> she just looks at me, looks down, looks at the tape, rolls her eyes and walks off
<CloneGamer> i tell you, i aint leaving my room for days :'(
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them
<Cannibal> no one wants to play monopoly with me
<Cannibal> i need to stop getting mad at people and stabbing them when i play that game
<Cannibal> gives me a bad rep
<Hellise> lolll
<MrRoboto1024>she didnt seem happy :(
<MrRoboto1024>i just dont understand women.
<|D-X|> pepsi?
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube
<lily> ok well when you're ready call me on the telephone
<@rakaur> well you know i had planned on smoke signals but telephone is ok.
<@Unarmed> similarly, if you inject radioactive compounds into eggs, when they hatch the chicks will rip you apart with their massive talons
<Alex> lololorz
<Kevin> lol]
<Alex> haga
<Alex> 0wneef
<Kathleen> omg y3s.
<[X]> Is this some sort of idiot mating ritual? Should I get the Discovery Channel in here with cameras?
<skylift> damn
<skylift> I didn't catch it and it fell down the hot air exchange
seph429: "OKAY I GET IT, THE OS SUCKS AND UR ALL FUCKS I HOPE YOU DIE"
<reaper> yes
<reaper> he used to be a jazz musician, and became a pornstar
<mfbian_> how will you compare slackware and freebsd
<Cheethoe> apples and oranges
<mfbian_> fair enough
<`justin`> slackware = for people that have been molested freebsd = people that want to molest their mothers
<`justin`> openbsd = for people that probably wont ever get molested
<`justin`> netbsd = molesting of all minorities, and cock asians
<mfbian_> how about gentoo
<`justin`> I dont know ask khai
--> biggy (something@1Cust26.tnt1.columbus.in.da.uu.net) has joined #slackware
<`justin`> oh wait I do know
<mfbian_> you don't know anything
--> supergoad (~supergoad@pcp08611785pcs.waldrf01.md.comcast.net) has joined #slackware
<`justin`> mfbian_: gentoo = people that want to molest their mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers, dogs, but can't get it up
<[chibi]> how come they can't tell when he magically doubles in size
<[chibi]> "there's something a bit different about him..more...confidence?"
<[chibi]> NO YOU FUCKWITS, HE JUST HIT PUBERTY IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE
* BldackFlag changes topic to 'Once you go black you never go back. Once you go white, that ain't right!'
* BldackFlag has left #twistedmonkey
<Nerje> I wonder if he realises he spelt his name wrong
<%Disarm10> Uh, depends.
<%Disarm10> On what you're in the mood for.
<%Disarm10> 9 times outta 10, a hand job is perfectly fine.
<+DEK> ahh i guess
<+DEK> masturbation works too
<+DEK> it works for me, since my hands are girly and soft
<+DEK> <33
<%Disarm10> >_> I meant getting one, not giving yourself one, but yea =P
<%Disarm10> lol
<+DEK> its fun watching myself in the mirror cuz it looks like a girl is giving me a handjob
<+DEK> but in reality, it is me
<%Disarm10> ...
<+DEK> masturbating
<+DEK> infront of a fucking mirror
* +DEK cries
* You were kicked by Disarm10 (ZOMG)
<Sabdo> Biggest bunch of nerds I've ever met.
<Sabdo> and this one girl walks in, really hot,
<Sabdo> and I swear to fucking god,
<Sabdo> three kids pulled out inhalers
AvariceManifesto: That's the general idea.