#269849 (23)
<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P
<+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers
#270224 (3152)
<omgwtf> did you guys hear about that actress who got stabbed
<omgwtf> reese
<omgwtf> reese something
<Boon> witherspoon?
<omgwtf> no with a knife
<omgwtf> HAHA!
#270571 (807)
<dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point
<jv-home> of course not. :P
<nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc
#270778 (296)
<MrMonster> just a sec, want to see if I can find this video of a guy shooting himself
<tack> that para dice kid?
<tack> the one who shot himself after his gf got on the elevator and left?
<MrMonster> it can't beat the crazy video at ogrish.com where the guy gets his throat cut
<tack> which one?
<tack> the one where he gets his throat slit from behind?
<tack> the one where he's already dead and they had to refilm it??
<MrMonster> he's quite alive
<MrMonster> and the blood is gurgling as he tries to breathe
<slh> ah yes
<slh> the internet
<slh> where else can you have a calm discussion about snuff films at 4 in the morning?
#270825 (683)
<Borgis> Sad, but true. The lively, fun loving, highly animated and eccentric borgis you know and love is nowhere near as exciting in the flesh.
<Borgis> Except for the eccentric part.
<Borgis> Andthe fun-loving part.
<Tedious_Toad> That's okay, if I was half as lively as I am on the net in real life I'd be arrested and tried for murder, beastiality, sodomy, indecent assault, masturbation in public AND indecent exposure
#270827 (232)
<Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find yourself listening to ACDC
<Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts playing and shit
<Vast|away> fucking annoying
<Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do eh?
#270829 (336)
(making NPCs for D&D)
<Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining 535 gp on!
<Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267 sheep!
<Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling bling.
<Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail.
<Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork.
<Sutekh> gold plated Bikini
<Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection?
<Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with hydraulics!
<Stefanf> lmao!
<Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade, bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the saddle?
#270830 (1059)
badboy> hi any chicks from berwick
SaintBloodyMary> I'm from berwick. Let's meet up at your place and have wild kinky
SaintBloodyMary> Should I bring my own handcuffs and lube or are you all set?
badboy> awesome u wanna come over now
SaintBloodyMary> Sure... because I often fuck strangers from online, it's my hobby.
badboy> bring it u want
badboy> awesome u sound real kewl :()
Supreme_101> SaintBloodyMary willing to travel ?
SaintBloodyMary> Supreme_101: It depends, I'm willing to travel 100km's per inch that your penis is over the average length.
Supreme_101> hmmm... looks like im coming to you then :P
#271239 (472)
<Shinsa-Chan> somebody talks english?
<KidMorbo> I only speak a few words in english
<Shinsa-Chan> well, don` t worry..tell me anything
<KidMorbo> "I want to fuck you NOW", for example
<KidMorbo> Pero no es algo que se pueda decir para iniciar una conversación ¿no?
#271263 (403)
< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2
< gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india
#271340 (955)
<Logan> oh shit, i just got coffee stains and meatball sauce on this guys grandma's death certificate
#271540 (874)
<Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I, Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith.
<Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P
#271566 (973)
<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
#271837 (387)
<Daleks|> guys i'm seeking for mid 90's hip hop song
<Daleks|> that going like this "na, na na na na, na na na na na..."
<asterax> ...
#272726 (2574)
[brianh] smaller boobs are cool
(Akira1) hmm
[brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have
[brianh] 18
[brianh] I fucking meant 18
(Akira1) hahaha
#273386 (1453)
<The_Spaniard:> The White House had an egg hunt today after which they had to admit that there were never any eggs to begin with.
#273488 (784)
<timmyB> yeah well i intend to live forever
<timmyB> so far so good
#273495 (837)
<pizza_biz> greggdogg: parole's over. he had to go back in.
<greggdogg> I figured.
<aLfer> what did he do?
<Dark_Fox> your mom :D
<aLfer> well, i hardly think that would land him in jail.
<Dark_Fox> prostitution is illegal
<aLfer> touche`
#273779 (701)
<jestuh>  But fans will have to wait a while for the maverick director to complete his bloodstained trilogy as he won't start filming Kill Bill: Vol 3 until 2019.
<jestuh> wtf
<edit_out> Is he going to breed actors for it?
#273902 (232)
<JimAM> I wonder how long before illegal operations really are illegal operations with DRM.
#274037 (10)
* Sabdo listens to Meat Loaf - Atkins? I FUCKING ATE HIM
#274153 (406)
<KRS922> Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
#274388 (2107)
<otto|sleep> 3.  What is the longest river in Scotland?
<otto|sleep> Here's your 1st hint: t__
<rP^paveway> teh river
<otto|sleep> Here's your 2nd hint: ta_
<rP^paveway> tet
<rP^paveway> tat
<rP^paveway> taq
<rP^paveway> taw
<rP^paveway> tae
<rP^paveway> tas
<rP^paveway> tad
<rP^paveway> tag
<rP^paveway> tac
<rP^paveway> tah
<rP^paveway> taf
<rP^paveway> taj
<rP^paveway> tak
<rP^paveway> tab
<rP^paveway> tan
<rP^paveway> tam
<rP^paveway> cmon...
<otto|sleep> Time's up! The answer was: tay
<rP^paveway> mother of god
#274517 (1047)
[@DAWG^] song lyrics containing the word "heart" - replace the word with "arse"
[@Chisler] hmmm, interesting idea
[@DAWG^] for example:
[@DAWG^] Celine Dion - my arse will go on
[@DAWG^] Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the arse
[@DAWG^] Kylie Minogue - Hand on your arse
[@DAWG^] Deee-Lite - Groove is in the arse
[@DAWG^] Rod Stewart - You are in my arse
[@DAWG^] Britney Spears - Deep in my arse
[@Chisler] Eurythmics - there must be an angel playing with my arse
[@DAWG^] w00t ^^
#274554 (1197)
<@ITV|VimAtWk> oops
<@ITV|VimAtWk> just heard a kid fell off our local multi-storey car park today
<+chrisss> how high?
<@ITV|VimAtWk> high enough for some natural selection