QDB — Browse Quotes

#252793 (551)

<DuTcHiN> U know how you get all lazy and wash your clothes at the last minute?
<EVILeye04> Um, yeah
<DuTcHiN> Well i was ready to go out to this party right, so there i was irc'ing in my shirt and boxers waiting for the load of washing to finish..... and i hear my ride beep from out the front, so i log off, grab my phoe, wallet and half-wet pants from the wash and throw them on and as i am bout to get out the door mum yells 'Wait' so i go 'no time mum' and hop in the car. By the time we get to the city and get out there is this weird smell.....
<EVILeye04> and????
<DuTcHiN> And then i turn on my mobile phone and see '1 message received' from 'mum' ---> Sorry i tried to get you to come back, the cat puked in the washing machine. So i had to spend the rest of the night in my stinky pants and all the chicks looked at me funny. :(

#252818 (1183)

<B-HAX> damnit my neighbor enabled security on his wifi router
<B-HAX> i am so annoyed
<B-HAX> i probably shouldnt have stuck the antenna right in my window pointing at his house
<B-HAX> i don't give people very much credit sometimes

#252993 (1223)

<1337man> i jast walked in on my brother stripping to a web cam.... >.<
<heyall> lol
<me101> just another case of "hey bro whats AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

#253018 (241)

<q8D> jesus christ I have the runs this morning
<q8D> woo
<q8D> it's like my ass is yelling at the toilet

#253029 (996)

<kasp> I got a shirt that had integral signs all over it,
and read: "Math is an integral part of life." I got another shirt
that has a small symbol of pi on the front, and 1000 digits of pi
(followed by "...") on the back
<glasnost> wow kasp
<brouwer> i've never met you, but i want to beat you up

#253043 (250)

<JonyBlaze> u have anyideas why a computer wouldnt boot the slack cd
<drw> good taste?

#253326 (465)

(+Clarke): i was hanging out with some friends last night, and this guy was saying how lesbian porn doesn't turn him on becuase his sister is gay
(@h0ns`b0ll0x): Not too big into lesbian porn myself.
(+Clarke): and he'd be like "oh cool, those chicks are going down on each other......and my sister's friend is sleeping over... OH GOD"

#253352 (139)

<diminishe> Anyone wanna help me debug some code?
<PreZ> diminishe, do you have a specific problem?
<diminishe> well, its more like pseudo code

#253362 (1007)

(@Aircraftkiller) I want a drum of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) They're only like $50 I think, full barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) I just want the barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) Then
(@Aircraftkiller) When someone comes over, and asks you "hey dude, is that a drum of oil? Real oil?" You can say "Yeah. Where's YOUR oil?"
(@Aircraftkiller) Because real men own oil.

#253683 (851)

<Sarah> I just saw 28 Days Later
<rude-inverse> that's one of those movies I always planned on seeing but never did.
<rude-inverse> what was the significance of "28 days"? the only thing I associate 28 days with is a menstrual cycle.
<Sarah> maybe that's why there was so much blood.

#253841 (340)

#253947 (942)

<FatalError1> how to delete a directory in Linux?
<FatalError1> delete entire contents with one command?
* rm-rf isnt sure

#254023 (524)

Ishbu566: haha i guess i was fucked up though
Ishbu566: cuz i had my headphones on
Ishbu566: and pink floyd blasting
Ishbu566: and my dad came out and was yelling at me to turn it down
Ishbu566: the headphones werent plugged in =(

#254116 (508)

<paranoid/> i just realized that my dads a hardcore redneck
<stonedgamer> how so
<paranoid/> he came out of the shower and i saw a tatoo on his ass that said "exit only"

#254207 (784)

<SorcererX> Dispatched on March 21, 2004 Delivery estimate: Mar 19, 2004 - Mar 22, 2004
<SorcererX> now... I've seen inaccurate estimates before... but this takes the cake
<SorcererX> "we assume that it'll arrive two days ago or in the next 12 hrs... and the package has to go 2000 km"

#254271 (267)

<dunce> We were doing shots of BBQ sauce at the anime con
<dunce> Granted, that BBQ sauce also had vodka in it
<dunce> And I hadn't eaten for 2 days
<Nd> Weren't you there to like... er, what did you do there?
<dunce> I was there to drink
<dunce> And have fun with half naked girls
<dunce> What... you think I give a shit about that anime stuff? :P
<dunce> Didn't actually see any anime while I was there
<dunce> I mean, I can watch it at home, didn't see what the big deal was

#254287 (1591)

<jadedlphoto> Maybe the free masons control porn now.
<gz> the carnal cabal?
<firegod> the illuminaughty?

#254358 (621)

<Pornosaur> My mom gave me one of those plants you can't kill
<Pornosaur> I think it commited sucicide

#254361 (1431)

<RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download same song from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if its rare
<maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they already have them burned on CD and they come with cases and booklets.
<RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?

#254442 (298)

HefnersCrew2005: If you rape a hooker, is it theft?

#254595 (1077)

<zombiemann77> i tied this girl up and she told me to do whatever i wanted to her so i took her stereo, dvd player, and all her money

#254773 (427)

<Beercaps> its not easy spelling bukkake
<RedX> specially with your mouth full ;-)

#255086 (458)

<methangas> this is EA's support lines automatic answering machine; we already got your money, now please go away

#255209 (1431)

<arsifoofoo> you know...
<arsifoofoo> people rub corn on themselves for skin therapy
<arsifoofoo> "hard pore cornography"

#255364 (371)

<+EvanTH> You'll have to be Smacky The Heroin bear.
<+Kulstad> w00t!!
<+EvanTH> You must sit in a corner and lose your hair
<+EvanTH> All the children will laugh and stare
<+Kulstad> you mean like Fuzzy Wuzzy
<+EvanTH> For you will be Smacky, the stiff-veined bear
<+EvanTH> yes.
<+EvanTH> Sometimes I wonder why the hell I even let myself type.