QDB — Browse Quotes

#240141 (269)

<Sphexi_LOTU> Volvo has a new concept car out, designed by women for women.
<Sphexi_LOTU> It has verticle wing-type doors so women won't get their dresses torn when getting out, lots of luggage space for shopping bags, removable seat covers and carpeting so you can remodel the car at will, and extra large visor mirrors for applying makeup.
<Sphexi_LOTU> it's going to be extra reliable and maintenance free, so women won't have to worry about remembering to get the oil changed or the engine tuned up.
<CaesarMaximus> Volvo swedish quality =)
<Tempest_MD> Does it come with a driver?
<Tempest_MD> (women don't know how to drive)

#240219 (668)

x NIKKI MERSH x: would u still come over my house if my parents saw a picture of ur penis?
hOckey: yeah
hOckey: why!?
x NIKKI MERSH x: just curious

#240399 (639)

*Josh has joined #artstudio
<Josh> quick guys, how do you reattach the head to a dead body?

#240765 (688)

<cads> hey, do you guys know what kind adhesive electrtical tape uses; my borther put electrical tape on his monitor, and it left a residue when it came off
<cads> so I need to figure out a solven that will get rid of it
<cads> without destroying the screen finish of his (LCD) monitor
<comemirda> cads - what happened?
<cads> he was watching anime
<cads> and he didn't want to look at the subtitles
<cads> so the idjit put a strip of electrical tape on his monitor

#240849 (14195)

<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls

#240850 (1432)

#240871 (492)

xlegoLASelfx: lifes a bitch
x0xsmeagol1x0x: but if it were a slut, it would be too easy

#240899 (738)

Keladry43: i am very bad at crabble
Stumacha: obviously
Keladry43: uh. yeah. dammit.

#240917 (1154)

<Evilution> I was at 7-11 today and this girls comes up and talks to me and stuff (dont ask me to define stuff)
<Evilution> except for the boobies she was wrong in every possible way for me..
<Evilution> after a while when she says "I'll give you my number so we can meet up again"
<Evilution> then I said "No, that wont be necessary, I wouldnt call you anyway"
<ImperioN^> lol
<Evilution> that kinda ticked her off I guess, cause then she said something like
<Evilution> "what kinda moron are you? cant you tell when someone's flirting with you?!?"
<Evilution> I grinned and replied "what kinda moron are you who cant tell when you're being dissed?"
<Evilution> that's one of them moments you just cant help feeling proud of..

#240928 (668)

eriberri: i just finished removing all sorts of third-party hair from the keyboard :p
*** EtherKnot (~ek@24.66.4.100) has joined channel #macintosh
Snausages: mmm, buttfurr
EtherKnot: woah
EtherKnot: let me try that again
*** EtherKnot has left channel #macintosh

#241084 (824)

<NrgSpoon> what's the difference between an orange?
<Doragon> one of them doesn't
<smh> best joke evr

#241121 (460)

Alex: I'm so goth even my chocobos are black.

#241189 (-15)

<peer> man bash.org sucks they never accept my super witty comments
<FyreDaug> welcome to the club
<FyreDaug> all those roses are red poems get accepted, half of them suck
<peer> fuckin niggers
<FyreDaug> I vote we all try to take over bash.org
* jfo has left #DC
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* FLINGU has quit IRC (quit: )
* peer has quit IRC (ping timeout)
<FyreDaug> those fuckers got to us already
* sAMMYsUNG has left #DC
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* Disconnected
* Unable to resolve server

#241223 (417)

<c41yp50> "If elected, Kerry will appoint Captain Planet as secretary of defense, but the military will crumble when everyone realizes how stupid the power of heart is."

#241228 (762)

<turboeli> Someday I will achieve my project of putting together the ultimate funny stereotype, the Engrish Gangsta. However, I have yet to progress further than 'bring bring'.

#241250 (724)

<digitz> I really hate it when girls think it's sexy to stand up and pull there cunt flaps apart and make it look like they have the predator between there legs

#241363 (878)

<dabblerblue> i called tech support today
<dabblerblue> and shortly thereafter, they sent me an email detailing the use
of search engines
<dabblerblue> sarcastic bastards

#241368 (518)

<Continuity> EVERY TIME YOU LEECH A GAME, GOD KILLS AN RIIA EMPLOYEE
<east> that wouldn't work
<east> the RIAA would've been eradicated a long time ago
<Curry> they just throw a specimen back to the spawning vats
<Curry> *spoof* instant employees
<Outrider> LOL RIAA RUSH KEKEKEKEKEKEKE ^_________________^

#241391 (456)

<Grey> I downloaded an ISO image of a game which turned out to be porn...
<Grey> people don't respect anything anymore
<Borlath_Mon> I downloaded Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, and sadly, it turned out to be Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.

#241623 (1200)

<MegaDeth> family pack of condoms
<MegaDeth> hehehe
<MegaDeth> that's amusing on so many levels

#241729 (553)

<dpkg> greycat:
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerMushroomMUSHROOMBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerSnaaaaaaaaakkeeeASnaaaaake
<greycat> ah, the lynx-compatible version.

#242116 (265)

<Tie> CD-RWs are like.. virigins who never lose their virginity no matter how much you fuck 'em

#242303 (729)

<+MrKite> I remember one of my teachers, she was a female teacher, and it was hawaiian week and she had too lais around her neck. Eric said to her "I see you got laid over the weekend" which instantly made me think he was going to have problems, she casually responded "Yeah, twice"

#242402 (2441)

DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did

#242534 (609)

* Warlocke sings, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, is a box of Kotex month-lee-ee when she blee-eeds."
<Katrina> OMFG