#141248 (674)
<Beren87> A swift kick in the pants
<Beren87> that's always my suggestion
<Beren87> for anything really
<Beren87> Need to move a mule? A swift kick in the pants. Need orange juice? A swift kick in the pants
<Beren87> It's very multi-purpose
<TheXPhial> I need a gift for a friend
#141296 (227)
<Ayesha> half the men in my family have mullets XD
<dunderhead> are half the people in your family in serious relationships with other people in the famly as well?
<dunderhead> thats usually the consequence of rocking the mullet
#141310 (-53)
<gribble> might apply for some jobs I don't have a jews chance in Auschwitz of getting
#141357 (1366)
<malkygoat> i've donated 1000hours of CPU time to SETI
<ozzmosis> malkygoat: you know in about 20 years time the alien ships will land here on Earth and demand to know why we've been DOSing their alien network 20 light years away with random packets
#141580 (641)
SilverJstr: I dreamt it snowed last night
SilverJstr: like, 20 inches
SilverJstr: I woke with a scream
ThanatoChaos: Canadian nightmares.
#141798 (549)
(Serial) where can i buy speakers online
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com
(Serial) australian
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com.au
#142115 (392)
<PERL_ZEALOT> ( E@3 )
<PERL_ZEALOT> / /U
<Brass> Whassat, Perl?
<PERL_ZEALOT> Goatse.
#142540 (245)
Hobbes_: Hmm.
Hobbes_: I'm too lazy to use the mouse, and go to the address window.
Hobbes_: http://movies.yahoo.com
Hobbes_: Wait.
Hobbes_: Shit.
Hobbes_: I have to click that. =(
#142649 (1085)
<JB> When I was a kid, you could just admire a naked woman. She didn't have to be defecating.
#142797 (702)
<Kindred> I got a question:  If you're driving in your car at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?
<Devilbunny> Kindred: It's all in your imagination.  Putting "R-Type" stickers on your tarus will not give it enough extra horse power to reach any signficant fraction of the speed of light, no matter the size of your spoiler.
#142934 (11290)
docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)
#142960 (1426)
<RikI> Havent had sex in sooooooo long
<RikI> It's gotten to the point where i masturbate thinking of other times i masturbated.
<Vorm> ...
#142976 (680)
<Zok> Oh, it needs to be in jpg or png
<Sephiroth> okay I changed the extension
<Sephiroth> but isn't any smaller
#143356 (513)
[9:43:pm] <beau> man, i have so much respect for anyone that designs adult web sites
[9:43:pm] <GodTheMod> its harder than it looks
[9:43:pm] <xie> Hahahahaha
[9:43:pm] <beau> i've been sorting through material for my site, and i can't help but get a hard on, and that means much less blood in my head.. i JUST CANT WORK LIKE THAT!
#143360 (800)
<Ken> If a girl is 5'2" and weighs 110, what would her ring size be
<Nny> Ken: depends on how big her finger is
#143530 (793)
<Hahn> I'm such a coding novice! My nipples get all hard when something compiles correctly.
#143577 (397)
<Zorah> You're like a merry go round.. everyones had a ride.
<Exodus> naw
<Exodus> just the ones who are taller than 5'
#143587 (150)
<pantsme> guys, give me ways the govt influences your life daily
<pantsme> i need 3 more
<Novasol> what do you have already?
<grendy> increased taxes due to multiple simultaneous wars, and slightly lower gas price3s thanks to stolen oil?
<grendy> or should i just shut up? my head hurts
<pantsme> i got the basics i just need a few others
<pantsme> make stuff up
<grendy> predator
<GoatLord> how about: They make laws that say I can't beat that stupid fucker with a tire iron.
<redsleep> reading my thoughts through major league baseball
<grendy> uh, the illuminati, the skull & crossbones, the magestic twelve?
<pantsme> nice
<pantsme> askin this on irc was dumb
<pantsme> :D
<GoatLord> you think?
#143725 (275)
<CptPlanet> ever get the urge to have someone videotape you masturbating in public so you can watch it later and laugh? or masturbate again.
<slick> i have a tripod
#143758 (563)
<heroofhyr> Japan, China and South Korea team up to plan an operating system to rival Microsoft Windows.
<heroofhyr> man i can't wait to try Rindows
#143858 (752)
<ShadowRage> if this net needs anything it's more linux
<jimmiejaz> fuck no.
<ShadowRage> if ths net needs anything it's more women*
<ShadowRage> god dammit
<ShadowRage> You know you've become a nerd when the word linux automatically replaces "women" in your mind.
#144140 (440)
<Killrbyte> God dammit...Jesus saves...why the fuck didn't I?
#144171 (1287)
* Jon|Working has joined #twistedmonkey
* Jon|Working changes topic to 'Nerje, you really need to stop e-mailing me porn with cam pics and other such things. It's a nice surprise, but not so nice when your laptop is hooked up to a projector with people looking at it.'
* Jon|Working has quit IRC (Quit: )
#144440 (1674)
<MrBob> I hate Uni. At least in film studies we get to talk about Fight Club.
<@X-Factor> Wouldnt you be breaking the first 2 rules?
#144532 (620)
(dj28): http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/ftp/graphics/AT13/refresh/AL1303W5+GIF/081203W5.gif
(ZemRrushe): safe for work?
(dj28): no. it's a government sponsored goatse orgy gallery