#106513 (204)
<CactusJac> Mike Sweetser walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila. The bartender asks, "Why so many buddy?" Sweetser replies, "I'm celebrating my first blow job". The bartender says, "Well hell, congratulations, I will give you one on the house for free." Sweetser says, "No thank you, if the first 6 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't make a difference."
#106517 (554)
<@MephistoSan> I'm having deja vu
<@MephistoSan> they must have added something new to the matrix
<@MephistoSan> :/
<+DHX|cleaningroom> omg they cut the hardline
<+DHX|cleaningroom> GET OUT NOW
<@MephistoSan> GET ME AN EXIT
<+DHX|cleaningroom> AFFIRMATIVE
MephistoSan has left IRC (Quit: Local kill by DHX|cleaningroom (exit))
#106531 (128)
<isosceles> remove your pants and do the roast beef dance
#106536 (177)
<mpampiz> º*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ª  hack the planet ª ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*º*
<sta-hi> ...
<sta-hi> no
<sta-hi> hack it yourself
#106552 (317)
<crispexi> I guess I have to settle for internet pirate. Yarrr, sail the seven ISPs.
#106560 (376)
(+Silver) man never have porn and pics of people from irc in the same folder
(+nixon) you accidently opened nhm's picture while doing the dirty
(+nixon) didnt you
(+Silver) it was yours
(@CH) I'd just keep going
(+Silver) CH: i didnt say i stopped
#106564 (82)
<MegaDeth[Away]> hmmm
<MegaDeth[Away]> I like WASTE
<MegaDeth[Away]> WASTE is my FRIEND
<MH2> More people need WASTE
<Luigi30> I excrete WASTE into the TOILET.
<MH2> no
<MH2> That's waste
<MH2> Not WASTE
#106566 (441)
<ehk> anyone know what "PXE-E61: Media test failure, check cable" mean
<sta-hi> ehk: it means that your PXE-E61 failed
<sta-hi> due to a meida test failure
<sta-hi> you should check your cable
#106571 (110)
<fronn> smurf gestation is probably like... 48 years...
#106572 (158)
<ddMom>i just don't think that telling any woman to forcibly insert an object up her anus.. is something that should go without consequences.
<ddDad> I say we buy him a moped.
#106573 (166)
#Jesus unable to join channel (invite only)
#106578 (433)
(+kevin) GOD DAMNIT. WHY DO I HAVE A HABIT OF TOUCHING MY PENIS WHILE I'M SITTING IN A COMPUTER CHAIR?!?!
#106579 (275)
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
#106580 (221)
<baccus> anybody want the harry potter book in one big html file?
<whytyf0rd> 900 pages via html isn't fun to read
<whytyf0rd> too bad the printer paper will cost more than the book
<whytyf0rd> the book is only 15 dollars
<baccus> the printer at work is always free
<whytyf0rd> ITS ONLY 15 DOLLARS
<KungFuGrp> so are most cds whityfOrd
<KungFuGrp> but we download those dont we
#106581 (316)
<Mog> NECROPHILIA IS SICK AND TWISTED
<Mog> I LIKE MY GIRLS AND BOYS NICE AND ALIVE.
<Mog> -boys
#106582 (247)
<GuyMontag> What do you call four thousand lawyers?
<BigEars> microsoft
#106588 (172)
<NickFury> what is your deffinition of "hacker"?
<sta-hi> NickFury: tiger woods drunk.
<sta-hi> wah wah wah wah wahhhh
#106593 (217)
<IWillBeRiteBack> however, I might point out that you've misapplied your sentiments
<IWillBeRiteBack> for they should obviously be applied to a certain pathetic individual named Stephan
<sKratch> the only thing that was misapplied was the condom that allowed you to be born
#106598 (208)
<Skippy> Why can't women come with a help menu?
<Pi> hah
<Pi> or a manpage
<Pi> or the source code
#106600 (412)
<Al> you left a burning bag of dogshit on the doorstep of my heart
#106602 (172)
<tr0n> OBLIQUE WROTE THE BOOK "101 HOME REMEDIES TO CURE WANKER'S CRAMP".
<tr0n> AND IS NOW WORKING ON "HOW TO RESTORE RECTAL ELASTICITY"
#106603 (280)
<GPF> A fart is just a turd honking for right-of-way.
#106605 (243)
<kare> The next Microsoft OS will have a new anti piracy feature: it will come in an arcade cabinet and you'll need to insert coins to boot it or start a program
#106628 (25)
<{1000101}> America Jr my ass
<{1000101}> Canada is like We Hate God Damn Iggerent Yank Land
<_seph> you assume th atall of america is either stupid ignant countryfolk, or rapper wannabes
<{1000101}> We have everything the US has, execpt we did it right
<_seph> i despise both people
<_seph> yes i always wanted to go to canada to live
<{1000101}> No, I assume that all of the US a) thinks that *they* are America and b) are iggerent.
#106633 (292)
<Mach17> Google: your number one source of not sounding retarded.