#104644 (267)
RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think "oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!" and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere...
#104694 (614)
PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit.
#104696 (89)
<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however :D Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so far) can get huge amounts done in seconds :D
#104704 (224)
<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out pokemon-names during sex?
#104706 (356)
(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be incest?
(mortiis) no
(mortiis) idiot
#104713 (152)
<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time
#104718 (301)
<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool
#104725 (216)
<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!
#104741 (68)
<vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against everything I believe in
<vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for that
<RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
<vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like Jerry Lewis?
<RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and didn't feel like typing that again
<RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
<RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous though
<RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
<vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis!  Just add Water!"
<RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
<RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear"
#104747 (309)
* Wang feasts on elbow macaroni and baby carrots
<slm> good for you, you have the diet of a 3 year old
<Wang> woo
<Wang> and i'm hung like one too
<Wang> ...
<slm> uhhhh... congrats?
#104750 (104)
<Jamon> he said, "my girlfriend fucks like a rabid hamster."
<Jamon> other guy said, "wow, that's great.....mine fucks like a walrus."
#104759 (324)
* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look like an idiot.
<Abstruse> "emote"?
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an ACTION...now it's an "emote"?  Dude, they've finally managed to pussify IRC...
#104762 (128)
<sixxer> bmbr.. ROOOOOOCKS
<bmbr> yeo
<bmbr> whysat
<sixxer> bmbr: cos of your new bot
<bmbr> hopefully he stays stable and quiet
<bmbr> and takes very little work on my part
<sixxer> I'd like to see him freak out and start throwing people in blenders
<bmbr> ill see if theres a .tcl for that
#104768 (6)
<NeilX> They have rename the Bible
<NeilX> its now called
<NeilX> The Sidez
<NeilX> I read chapter one.
<NeilX> the hold gospel according to Sega
<NeilX> and the mighty sidez came down
<NeilX> and he said
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua fighter
<NeilX> the lord sidez said
<NeilX> teh sucks there is no good combo moves
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER 2
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua figher
<wazy> neil is drunk
<NeilX> but the elite g0d sidez said, i need more vectorz
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> THE DICSIPLE XBOX WAS BORNAGE
<Sidez> ON THE SEVENTH DAY
<Sidez> I CREATED
<Sidez> TEH XBOX
<Sidez> AND IT WAS BIG
<NeilX> and it sucked
<Sidez> SILENCE INFIDEL
<NeilX> ON THE EIGTH DAY HE CREATED HIS OWN COCK
<NeilX> AND IT WAS SMALL
* NeilX laughs
#104770 (187)
<`sic> now that should be in guinness
<`sic> world record for longest rolling ball of cats
#104791 (335)
<@Phucker> Calling people by their real-names on IRC is a violation of RFC1459.
#104799 (277)
<xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
<Cloud9> Jesus, what?
<xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
<Cloud9> You sick fuck.
#104878 (226)
* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards.
#104893 (71)
<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
<ChemicalBurn> scarey!
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower
#104916 (22)
<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> yeah
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell
#104922 (430)
<GrimReap99> Anti is an example of an over-irc-ed child.
<GrimReap99> Antidead: "Hallo mother, what is for teh breakfahst? double eww tee eff? Pancakes? Stfu."
<ANTIAWAY> dad - "!kb Antidead"
<GrimReap99> Mother: "!topic Pancakes biotch"
#104928 (321)
<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos
#104929 (471)
DoUBle  ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in school tomorrow
rcknouttonight: why
DoUBle  ChiN 47: i have tic tacs
#104937 (402)
<SillyBoob> HELP
<SillyBoob> WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
<SillyBoob> WHERE DO YOU GO TO DOWNLOAD THE CDS?
<SillyBoob> MY CUZIN DOWNLOADED HTIS FOR ME
<Takaznik> type /quit get cd list and wait for about an hour
* Quits: SillyBoob (get cd list)
<Naked_Eye> How much you bet he will be back in an hour
#104946 (671)
MYNAME15NEO: Damnit...
DgtlHavoc: ?
MYNAME15NEO: The only place I can put my cheezits will block the light on my keyboard
DgtlHavoc: did you try the top of your head?
DgtlHavoc: on top the monitor?
DgtlHavoc: on the floor?
MYNAME15NEO: Thats where I've got the lamp
MYNAME15NEO: The monitors already got enough shit on it
MYNAME15NEO: And I don't have a floor
DgtlHavoc: ?
DgtlHavoc: living in a electomagnetically suspended desk?
MYNAME15NEO: Chair and desk is suspended from cables by a blackhawk helicopter
MYNAME15NEO: I won the helicopter using my Pepsi points