#100479 (223)
[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street, right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two of us"
#100481 (714)
<ChOwShAdY> like i fucked a 14 year old when i was 17
<ChOwShAdY> she was immature as a motherufcker
<@impuritor> dude, that is quite possibly the dumbest thing i've ever heard anyone say in my entire life
<@impuritor> that's like saying
<@impuritor> "My car runs like shit when i'm out of gas"
#100483 (11)
<Yellah> Celebrate the decrimalisation of Pot
<[Piratez]> lets make this national
* [Piratez] replaces the maple leaf on the Canadian flag with a weed leaf.
#100486 (438)
<nailer> I think I'm tired - I just spent three seconds wondering why `Data Track' by `Data Track' wouldn't play from this CD
#100487 (246)
<Lyndrek> I don't like Pulp Fiction
<Nalani> Why would you dislike Pulp?
<DarkLich> Maybe it confused him.
<DarkLich> Maybe he was like, "What?! John Travolta died two scenes ago!"
#100489 (647)
<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed
#100494 (307)
<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH
#100498 (286)
<TriNitY> how are u only 1/2 hour ahed?
<TriNitY> ur clock iz fux0r3d
<Mr_Man> i set my clocks ahead for no good reason other than i feel like i step into the future when i enter my room
#100523 (56)
<Vangalisk> Gawd, if that american idle twat got any heavier rotation her makeup is going to fly off her face in large cakes
#100524 (220)
<boyd> anyway, theres a survey on the back and one question is "What was the easiest way to make new friends at your Teritary Institution?"
<boyd> if my name wasn't going to be attached to it, i'd put something like "i'm doing computer science, I  HAVE NO FRIENDS
#100527 (565)
<Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my hands
<Snipe> wait, no i dont
<Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
<Snipe> brb
#100541 (396)
* woodss has Favourites
* fungi has Bookmarks
* morner has a secretary :P
morner: well, more of an assistant really
morner: ...
morner: ok, it's a pda
#100559 (103)
<Necroth|HAPPY> <|707th|Selerox> not even god understands women <-- not even womans understand womans ;)
<|MoK|Fluid> Thank god, else we wouldn't have catfights.
#100570 (1252)
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
#100595 (50)
<RANMA316> Japanese snacks rock
<PooIsYummy> No they don't, japanese snacks suck.
<PooIsYummy> They aren't treats, if you gave them to small children in north america they'd start to cry
#100719 (360)
neiras: "Next week on FOX, watch lions eat Christians!"
ennoia: Fuck
ennoia: I need cable
#100732 (168)
* Maho pats the trash can... "was it good for you?"
#100737 (1724)
Trauma Kittten: OMG
MY CAT JUST JIZZED ON ME
Trauma Kittten: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
lordviram: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
lordviram: wtf didi you do to it?
lordviram: i didnt know you were into all that
lordviram: lol
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: well he's a longhair cat
Trauma Kittten: and sometimes his pants get matted
Trauma Kittten: so i was holding him on my lap
Trauma Kittten: and he was purring with his eyes closed and i'm like trying to untangle them
Trauma Kittten: then i realized one of the bunches wasn't a tangle, it was his nuts
Trauma Kittten: they both kinda feel the same
Trauma Kittten: then my hand gets a glob of clear stuff on it
lordviram: wow
Trauma Kittten: i'm gonna kill myself
lordviram: that's just
lordviram: hahahahaha
Trauma Kittten: i just jerked my cat off
lordviram: i'd say something but nothing can really add to the effect of admitting you just jerked off your cat
Trauma Kittten: heh....
Trauma Kittten: i'm surprised that one didn't make it to your profile heh
lordviram: that's cuz i'm gonna post that to bash.org
lordviram: LOL
Trauma Kittten: !
lordviram: ....wow
Trauma Kittten: OH NO
Trauma Kittten: the cat is back
Trauma Kittten: heh
lordviram: maybe it wants to return the favor
lordviram: heh
Trauma Kittten: well there was one site i saw where it recommended putting whipped cream on your clit and letting em lick it off
Trauma Kittten: but i wouldn' go that far, i don't think
lordviram: you dont think?
lordviram: o.0
lordviram: well. you did just jack off your cat.
Trauma Kittten: BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
Trauma Kittten: i was just trying to make him have nice pants
lordviram: you are one freaky chick
#100740 (561)
<Wippersnapper> Guess what fools, I am going skydiving
<schnorks> Why does that make us fools?
<Wippersnapper> Because I am jumping out of a plane... oh wait
#100757 (140)
<King-of-darknesses> my kernel is panic'ing , i need to reassure him some
#100758 (308)
e l i t e m r p: no work on monday, woo waaaaa
r ever end in e: WHY not
e l i t e m r p: holiday
e l i t e m r p: the day we remember all the people who died to give me a day off from work
#100767 (266)
<Tiffany> mapso did you know that my brother is having a baby?
<Mapso> Is it yours?
#100770 (1106)
<Masao[RY]> DS: I really enjoy translating :-)
<Ninja-San> translate this: <^>(-_-)<^>
<DS> well
<DS> let's tranlate it from japanese to english
<DS>  <^>('_')<^>
#100781 (102)
<Alter_Legiones> don't ya just hate it, when you try to find a rom. then you click on a link that you think takes you to a rom site, but is loaded with porn ads, and when the thing opens, the first thing you hear is "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR LONG COCK!* while your mom is in the room >_<
#100792 (400)
<Destruya> HEY WOW I'M SO GOOD AT BF1942 BECAUSE I HANG OUTSIDE SPAWN POINTS
<Destruya> ESPECIALLY THE PERMANENT ONES
<fatehaze> lol
<Destruya> AND I FUCKING KILL EVERYONE BEFORE THEY CAN SHOOT ME BACK
<Destruya> AND PEOPLE LIKE THIS "DESTROYA" GUY YELL AT ME PROBABLY BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING AWESOMELY 1337
<Destruya> AND HE'S JEALOUS OF MY MAD SKIZZILS, YO
<Destruya> OMGOMGOMG
<Destruya> I SHOULD WRITE A TIPBOOK ON BF1942
<Destruya> "BF1942: HOW TO BE FUCKING COOL LIKE ME IN JUST ONE VERY SIMPLE STEP"
<Destruya> </sarcasm>
<Destruya> I just got out of a really goddamned frustrating BF1942 game full of career cocksmoking permanent base campers.  Could you tell?