QDB — Browse Quotes

#64125 (143)

<qta> hi ircop can you help me?
* qta is away (AutoAway After 10Secs.)

#64138 (23)

<Espresso> you should wipe it down with some alcohol and shit just to be safe
<nas> you should give the same advice to your roommate when he gets back
<Espresso> naw, i was careful to stay on my side
<nas> of the bed?

#64166 (7)

<imbezol> one thing about dvorak though... you never make typos because you're watching the screen all the time and never the keyboard

#64168 (55)

<EvilN> i still dont get why water cooling doesnt fry the circuitry.

#64169 (246)

Mace|brb has quit (COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.)

#64184 (108)

<DigiBree> my uncle once took a huge length of dental floss and i asked him what he was doin with it...and he said he was going to floss between his bum cheeks......then he went into the bathroom :/
<Rake> lol thats just fucked :P

#64252 (226)

<_anarchy> heheh
<_anarchy> about time
<Night`> took me a while, because i am special
<_anarchy> indeed
<jokes> Night, special isn't the word =)
<Night`> but it is the euphemism

#64327 (910)

<IgnusDei> i hate my BROTHER
<IgnusDei> and MY SISTER
<Hyperian> i love your sister
<IgnusDei> no you wouldn't
<IgnusDei> oh sure the sex is great at first
<IgnusDei> but then she's such a bitch

#64328 (245)

<Jester{work}> butt sex is like spinach , if you're forced to eat it when you're a kid you wont like it as an adult.

#64347 (575)

<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril Lavigne CD?
<power> dammit
<power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating
<bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail the seven seas?

#64445 (757)

<timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class
<timmo> first day of highschool
<timmo> made us write a a one page essay
<timmo> on
<timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART"
<timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for the rest of my highschool career
<timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art
<timmo> and got 0 for it
<timmo> i shrugged it off though
<arse-poet> so why was porn art
<arse-poet> according to your essay
<timmo> i dont know
<timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing
<arse-poet> lol
<timmo> i cant really remember
<jestuh> lol

#64732 (799)

[StrikeBot] 65. Who sought to create The Great Society?
[StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__
[Chevelle] bhudda
[Video] Lando Calrisian
[MinuS] lando calrisian

#64745 (392)

<egg> I said I was back with Cake. I never said there was enough for everyoone
<Diet_Crack> IM ETHIOPIAN.. POOR, HUNGRY, NOW GIVE ME CAKE
<kooshy> didn't napster teach you anything about sharing?
<egg> Yes.
<egg> Don't.

#64779 (316)

<@TreeSquid> i wonder what percentage of people jerk off at work....
<@TreeSquid> i know i used to
<SLiVeR> I never did
<cokey> i used to
<cokey> when i worked at the daycare....

#64802 (736)

<Thom> How can a guy be offended by male nudity?
<Thom> Did you have trouble showering?
<Thom> OH FUCK OH FUCK ITS A PENIS

#64854 (180)

<Gobi> know what's better than pasta?
<Feat> pornography
<Gobi> more pasta!
<Gobi> ...and that
<Feat> porn pasta?
<Gobi> porno-getti
<Feat> ravi-hole-ey
<Feat> hmm
<Gobi> hmm indeed
<Gobi> heh heh heh
<Gobi> we could market to all the college dropouts in Canada and make billions off their unspent student loans!

#65024 (-149)

<SteamedHams> anyway i have a question about the US
<+firehawk> sure man
<SteamedHams> if you drop a watermelon off the empire state building, does it get eaten by negroes before it hits the ground?

#65112 (231)

<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster
<static> digital gangster?
<static> wtf does that mean?
<static> he haf a digital crew of thugs?
<static> a shit load of 1's and 0's?

#65120 (4724)

<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<lasombra> tumult ?
<tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<tumult> he says bullshit
<tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<tumult> sits back down
<tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<tumult> from my lip
<tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<zyko^> what did she do?
<tumult> punched me in the face

#65174 (107)

<an_ass733> How do you tell if your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit.

#65175 (284)

<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D with your geeky friends.

#65215 (390)

<DoctorRiff> i hear that every year the piro comes out of his hole in the ground and if he sees his shadow we will have 6 more weeks of delayed comics

#65222 (251)

<Minion> I think I might have genital herpes.
<Minion> Holy fucking shit
<Minion> Why does herpes.com have a dating service?
<Minion> "I got genital herpes! Better go spread it!"

#65225 (618)

#65230 (240)

<Nimduin> Holy fucking shit.
<Nimduin> http://www.mclaren4sale.com/main.html
<Match> Bet you could get that girl you're always talking about in that car.
<sede> Yeah, the bitch couldn't dodge me in that sweet ride, I'd wear her like a hood ornament