QDB — Browse Quotes

#62481 (830)

<haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
<haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
<haz3l> really?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
<haz3l> Would that owrk?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
<haz3l> :D
<haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
<haz3l> OMG THE BEEEEEPAGE
<haz3l> MAKE IT STOPPP
<haz3l> LGBR HELP

#62507 (304)

<PSX> my ex told me she was late one time.. i kept telling her "yea, its going to be ok babe" but in my head i was saying "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCCCCCK FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!@#%"
<Skier> heh
<robs> psx: been there done that
<`Nemesis> they call "I'm pregnant, call me!" and then you fedex them a coathanger with a note that says "You know what to do.". They generally don't call back after that

#62519 (338)

<_bryan_> its a good thing MS isn't in the condom business

#62539 (282)

<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send me a picture?
<+Ziphy> :x
<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down there ;)
<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^

#62540 (305)

<totalreality> Dail-up has its Pros
<syphonic> Like..?
<totalreality> like when your girlfriend finds out that you slept with another girl so she trys to call your house to find out whats going on or give you shit
<R^J> couldent she just knock on the front door?
<totalreality> Shit! Brb
* totalreality is away: locking the doors

#62543 (510)

<ruca> my dads work pays for my cable modem so my mom always says "ERIN! dont look at porn cause dads work will get in trouble"
<ruca> im like wtf woman you cant even turn my computer on. dont school me you ho
<ruca> she REALLY believes my dads boss is gonna go up to him and be like "kevin, we found out your 20 year old daughter looked at ron jeremys nads last night. explain yourself!"

#62546 (61)

<crazythunder> does crucial seel virtual memory?

#62557 (271)

<LayMon> PH33r me
<themage> AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
<LayMon> woot
<LayMon> i am pheered
* LayMon (c6c2@65.119.99.99) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad

#62558 (249)

<AaronAFK> Anyone Active?
<SenorWeir> i am
<Spoon35> I think he meant sexually.

#62578 (58)

<Spud> Man, watching Fear Factor earlier. Two Hot Chicks + Horse Rectum Eating Contest = TurnOn++
<rzrshrp> *barf
<Spud> Synthetic horse rectum, of course, but still...

#62596 (384)

<joey-sleepin-workin> at work i got a email asking if the mail server was down
<joey-sleepin-workin> wtf am i sposed to reply to that? :P

#62600 (151)

<rottle> i am going to write a program that clears the window clipboard about 15 seconds after you set it. because pasting large chunks of incriminating text into irc sucks.... not only are you laughed at but also kick/banned

#62608 (208)

Rangsk: why does everyone spell it "grammar"
Rangsk: fuck

#62622 (870)

<KBC> "Welcome to America. You can easily find someone to shoot you to put you out of your misery by screaming NIGGER anywhere if you're white"
<Goonigoogoo > and if you're black?
<KBC> scream out "I'M BLACK!" and some police will shoot you

#62632 (957)

<prence> oh fuck oh fuck man
<prence> my mom got this new canon digital camera today and they are asleep so i took a picture of my cock and i can't figure out how to delete it
<prence> fuck what the hell do i do?!

#62645 (965)

<Killrbyte> !googlepop "anal sex";"oral sex"
<migas> - "anal sex" is more popular than "oral sex" (2220000>1360000
<Video`> NO WAY
<Video`> FUCK THAT SHIT
<Killrbyte> Video`: Exactly.

#62659 (187)

<Akinaga> I skipped my wedding to play Tribes
<Akinaga> comeon, it was a match for the #2 spot
<apollyon> at that point you really need to rethink why you're alive
<merc> or just dump the bitch =)

#62681 (168)

<dizzyg> Sinbad + hamster + KY jelly == happy
<RubberDuck> the thing about hamsters is that the ky sticks to the hair and to get them clean afterwards is a beech
<RubberDuck> or so i've been told

#62682 (148)

beachbub hi
beachbub does anyone know if u can turn any image into a html code?
BoB_JonEz no u cant
BoB_JonEz well you could i suppose
BoB_JonEz if you made a table of 1x1 cells and set each colour individually
beachbub lol i have no idea wot dat means but thanx anyway
beachbub thanx 4 da help bye

#62685 (487)

<puppydo> what speed do you burn svcd at?...is 48X ok?
<_super_> 12
<_super_> never 48
<_super_> no
<_super_> never go that fast fools
<_super_> think of the reader
<_super_> give it a break
<_super_> why stress the dvd player
<_super_> trying to read at 48x
<_super_> stupid
<_super_> just slow that shit down
<_super_> just because a burner is fast is no reason to go that fast
<_super_> it isnt that fast anyway only on the edges
<_super_> so cd has all kinds of speed on it
<_super_> fluctuates
<_super_> too mnuch
<ciscosyko> wait a minute..are u telling them if they write the cd fast the dvd has to read it at that speed?
<_super_> yes
* ciscosyko stares at super for a minute and wanders off

#62695 (255)

<HuKKi> and what do chicks and KFC have in common?
<HuKKi> You start with the breast - then go to the thigh then you're left with a greasy box to stick your bone in

#62705 (208)

<toe2toe> the part i like is where IRAQ's going "we got nothing"
<toe2toe> and US is going "PFFFT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT"
<toe2toe> and then
<toe2toe> North Koreas going "CHECK OUT OUR NUKES, BUDDY"
<toe2toe> and US is going "Hey... are you iraq? no? THEN STAY OUT OF IT"

#62707 (227)

* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.

#62749 (279)

<MishimaYukio> Ya know, there's a thing called a "blooper", which is where you get a blowjob while you're taking a shit.
<fluffy> ....
<Massive_Potato> ...what the hell
<MishimaYukio> Well, I mention it because, well, if God didn't want us to be burdened by erections on the pot, he wouldn't have invented bloopers.
<fluffy> thats the most disgusting thing ive heard in years
<DoctorRiff> i will never feel the same way about the "tv's funniest bloopers" show, you've ruined my life MishimaYukio

#62770 (296)