#18316 (381)
<count^> real life is just something the government invented to steal my money
#18317 (891)
<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence
#18334 (574)
<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist?
<MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the former does the whole talking bit
<scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve into Psychiatrist?
<Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
<Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different university for him to evolve
#18335 (375)
<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all these years, bitch!"?
#18337 (139)
geekgirl [~M.E.Landr@68.113.207.136] has joined #megatokyo
<TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met before again!"
<geekgirl> Whoops
<Mephisto> O.o
<TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man, and rethink their whole life
<TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing
<geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to.
#18339 (537)
* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
<Greylark> why me?
<Magellan_> because you started it
<Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary girlfriend
<Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!
#18341 (251)
<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :(((
<adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen
#18392 (286)
<XtremeBain> you know you're a hich when
<Fembot> ya can't spell "hick"
#18397 (129)
<Scythewz> my bed makes a nice punching bag
<Zimbu> and at night, Scythewz's bed makes a nice diaper
#18406 (424)
<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away) and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy
#18431 (882)
<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly drops off after age 25"
#18437 (654)
<rastie> i teached my kid sister a good lesson
<Murdock> I'm guessing it wasn't an english lesson..
#18446 (259)
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
#18449 (252)
<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program
#18450 (226)
<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal
#18451 (329)
<+shattersp1ne> hey i found out a way to abbreviate army
<+shattersp1ne> rme
<+shattersp1ne> i will make millions off of it
#18452 (193)
<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely relative.
<Fembot> mass is constant
#18454 (482)
<Fryth> ah, math jokes
<Fryth> don't drink and derive
#18455 (280)
<keithandmike-com> Just stop.. okay. Damnit, I hate you so much. You probably sit and write these down and just wait for me to join. Bastard. Eat corn poop.
<Fembot> Mike joined the Navy and wanted to become a SEAL... there was something appealing about their creed to "never leave their buddy's behind"
#18457 (965)
<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing skils.
<Kaltorak> oh my god.
#18459 (39)
<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha]
#18460 (151)
<Fryth> What is ".net"? Some kind of asp development standard?
<Calrathan> Fryth, distributed computing solution by MS.
<Calrathan> in otherwords... MS can disolve computers around the world with this stuff
<Calrathan> [distributed computing SOLUTION... har har har]
#18463 (982)
<Bender`> When i was little i took a bath with my dad and when he stood up from the tub his penis slapped me across the face
#18468 (96)
<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes
#18469 (192)
<Fembot> Apple is co-branding a cpu line w/ Monty Python. it'll be called the "iFartinyourgeneraldirection"