#16808 (502)
<[OKW]Buchwald> is it "cheating" on your girlfriend if you invite a couple of girls over to get naked, and you end up jerking off on to their tits, but you never touch them?
<[SS]Corky> NO!
<[SS]Corky> did this happen?
<[OKW]Buchwald> well, gimme a few minutes :)
#16812 (163)
Pat877:    nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877:    ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877:    i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877:    dick
#16813 (121)
<B-ob> if (sleep < 0) then talk = null
<Stonefish> oh smeg off
#16814 (45)
<Freakazoid> its like putting hotdog skins over dog turds
#16817 (47)
<Nago> ... can you transmit aids from your hand to your cock?
#16818 (86)
<Nago> hmm... my coke tastes a bit like flesh...
#16822 (624)
<Packet> my boss just walked by one of the contractors that get canned friday
<Packet> and goes "HEY! I thought I fired you!"
<hmodes> "oh wait, i did..  HAHAHAHAHA!"
<hmodes> i aspire to crush people's souls like that some day
#16833 (652)
<grier> you think you're so god damn floorless
<grier> so superior
<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?
<girer> oh fucken leave me alone
* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)
#16835 (641)
<JaYsOn``> why the fuck do i always attract gay dudes
<moonbeam> um, well you do go to gay bars
<JaYsOn``> yeah but im straight! surely theres other straight guys there
#16839 (194)
<Tocool> Im so bored
<Tocool> I can predict my day
<Tocool> I woke up at 12:30, will sit around on computer till about 4, head to work, come back at 10:30, sit on computer till 2, go to bed
<Shaddix> pretty good
<Tocool> This isnt the normal course of action, just recent turn of events have left me with very lil to do
<Shaddix> oh
<Shaddix> impotentcy?
#16842 (1029)
<limeking> Hey jen, ya wanna come over and we can wrap ourseves in plastic, shit ourselvves, and then eat our own shit while listening to MC hammer?
<Jennie254> Ewwwww gross!
<Jennie254> That's fucked up! Why would you even THINK I'd want to listen to MC Hammer?? .
#16848 (327)
< espo> this movie would be better if Mel Brooks made it
< h2odragon> schindler's list?
#16857 (199)
<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200 bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude
#16858 (621)
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo
#16866 (305)
<MartinBlank> I knew a guy who dressed up for Halloween as a giant penis with ferns growing around the base, and said he was dressed as a dickweed.
#16868 (72)
<Valkyrie> no, but Westlife is fake
<Valkyrie> Flying without wings?
<Valkyrie> PUHLEAZE
<Valkyrie> more like getting high on KFC
#16883 (166)
[#perl]
<fraggle> how many days does it take to compile perl 5.6.1 on a 486?
<diclophis> haha
#16885 (475)
< Tobester> I downloaded a file named JESSICA ALBA LESBIAN PORN SEEN DIVX at 12mb and it was a guy fisting himself
#16886 (149)
<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do
#16897 (126)
<@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses
#16900 (23)
[ctcp(the_sponge)] PING
ùíù CTCP PING reply from The_Sponge: +++ATH
#16904 (258)
<kdoom> Duke: you need a hobby
<DukeNukem> kdoom: like beastiality?
<kdoom> perfect
#16906 (251)
<@Afterglow> .  I also have a familiarity with local area networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking file shares.
#16908 (120)
<endura> fuck women, I got me a national geographic and a bottle of gergins hand lotion, I'm fucking set for the next 10 years
#16910 (421)
<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C