#14265 (547)
BeHeMoTh101 : i'm waiting for the right girl..... the kind that will have sex with me
#14277 (156)
<nihil-_> she's about as darling as waking up in the morning with another mans semen all over my face
#14287 (742)
<fireside> cum is teh nasty
<died_in_sleep> and you know this how?
<fireside> ive (accidently) and unfortuntly licked some
<died_in_sleep> you shouldt know those things, unless your dad rapes you :/
<fireside> i can cum bitch
<dragondyne> how is that possible?
<fireside> um
<fireside> it comes out... on finger... i put finger in mouth, it taste bad
<dragondyne> ...
<dragondyne> I thought you said "accidently"
<fireside> I WAS HORNY GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK :(
#14289 (179)
* eMeow-v2 fiddles with his r00t
<Apollo-> Can you fiddle with my r00t too? I like it when people play with my root
<eMeow-v2> Apollo-: you want "girlfriend". STFW.
<Apollo-> haha
<Apollo-> No, if I had a "girlfriend", "wife" would STFW for "unsolvable murder"
#14299 (358)
Dainichi> Sometimes, I really do think it'd be nifty-keen to have another me around.
Phantbert> no way
Phantbert> I'd hate to have another me
Phantbert> the last thing I need is another pretentious asshole to deal with.
#14300 (805)
Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage."
#14301 (303)
<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber "magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the privacy of your own home.
#14303 (308)
HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.
#14304 (468)
ElectromagneticPhantom> there's like this monster, stooping over a dead body, it looks up at the camera, and as it moves, the heavy skin shifts and folds over itself in places and IT LOOKS FRELLING *REAL*
Lyme> Okay, PHant, I read that sentence, and thought you were talking about dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> yeah
Lyme> I reread it like, 3 times, and I still think you're talking about dick.
Lyme> Are you talking about dick?
ElectromagneticPhantom> but this monster has no eyes, I think. and four legs
ElectromagneticPhantom> and claws and stuf
Lyme> Four-legged dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> and nasty teeth
ElectromagneticPhantom> and it eats people
CommandantCleavage> four-legged dick monster? You mean men?
Lyme> four-legged clawed cannibalistic dickmonster
ElectromagneticPhantom> it is NOT a dickmonster!
Lyme> It only eats other dick.
ElectromagneticPhantom> STOP IIIIIIIT
#14305 (460)
PhantomStark> <-- laughing too hard to express it in internet acronyms
#14308 (216)
* EndersShadow remembers erector sets, you had to buy several before you had enough parts to have a big erection
#14309 (377)
Dainichi> I'm going to start a band called Hand Solo.
Dainichi> Our first song will be a heavy metal cover of "I Touch Myself"
#14312 (332)
[Red-Fraggle] I just noticed sumthin'... Those Star Trek uniforms can't hide a stiffy.
#14316 (72)
BoobiePatutti> My mom is now telling me what Hobbits do with their feet at night.
BoobiePatutti> Feeting.
BoobiePatutti> Like fisting, only with their feet.
#14318 (162)
Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)
#14331 (225)
[Lyme] My granpa is seriously nuts. When my parents went to visit him for his 60th anniversary thingie, he wore 1 dangly woman's earing and a gilligan hat.
#14334 (618)
[Dainichi] I want a penis! Hell, you have a penis, you can masturbate anywhere!
[Dainichi] For a woman to do it RIGHT, she has to lay down. Man gets a boner in the kitchen, he can wack off in the kitchen.
[Dainichi] If I had a penis...I'd lock myself in my room for so long that my friends and family would probably end up calling missing persons on me.
#14336 (250)
[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies
#14339 (263)
Bug> Red, yer a nut.
Bug> A left nut.
justRed-dammit> oooo.. will you be the right nut so that i can rub against you in tight clothing?
#14340 (93)
justRed-dammit> i wish i had the ability to go back in time and make sure that what was to become of brittney spears ran down her daddy's leg!
#14343 (437)
<Paveourroads> in a multiplayer game, you can be all, "Look, I have cooler shit than you." in a singleplayer game, you're like, "OK, my stuff is cool." and you show people who come over to your house and they're like, "You're a loser." so you cry and die. >:(
#14347 (40)
<Numloxx> why is it that when i saw the book troubleshooting winXP, i immediately had a vision of somebody with a sniper rifle trying to shoot through the whole in the middle of a winXP cd...
<Nick> because you're an idiot
<sion> Or special
<sion> "special"
#14350 (144)
<malcolm> c pointers work just like laser pointers
#14351 (363)
<malcolm> I would appreciate it more if I didn't have to set JAVA_HOME and ANT_HOME and HILL_DEPTH and AVERAGE_LIFESPAN_OF_INSECT and NUMBER_OF_LEGS and DIRECTION_OF_PREVAILING_WIND and BIRTHDAY
#14352 (419)
<SophiesCat> my room is making ominous popping sounds.
<malcolm> ghost popcorn