QDB — Browse Quotes

#9246 (33)

<BiG_GuY> did u know mother fucker what im gonna to do
*** BiG_GuY Quit (Quit: Leaving)

#9252 (257)

<Burnquist__> : /msg NickServ@services.dal.net IDENTIFY jillhanna
<Burnquist__> fuck
*** Burnquist__ (FBI@TeraPro33-41.cable-lynx.net) Quit (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by ne14a69)))

#9253 (316)

centenarygirl: maybe someday, but not right now
RKM 82: "maybe someday" do you mean that, or is that just thrown in there to comfort me
centenarygirl: no.........I really mean it
<PizzaMind> maybe means "when I'm 30, my pussy is floopy, no one else wants me and I've finally grown out of liking assholes"

#9256 (233)

<Outhouse> my wife is cool but when she starts that shit like, hold me, talk to me...it's like why?

#9258 (60)

<Murder-Is-Funny> I get this huge kick of trying to talk people I judge as worthless into suicide

#9262 (227)

Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!

#9264 (10)

[02:21] * ekum is away, sleep [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
[02:21] * ekum is away, work [log:OFF] [page:OFF]

#9269 (605)

<Brando457> wait NJ is east coast right
<PizzaMind> ...
<PizzaMind> dont you live in NJ?
<BRando457> yea

#9270 (246)

<Brando457> is 1 KB bigger then a 700 MB disk ?

#9272 (1529)

<Murder-Is-Funny> I know this girl who is supposedly kinda anti-social - so she says - and she's mentioned she doesnt go many places or have many friends.. - but when I call her, she's never home - whats that mean?
<Byte^> she has caller-id

#9277 (80)

<EVOLinc> hes like ok this comodor 64 is state of the art

#9286 (1851)

<jre> What should I read next, the Canterbury Tales, Don Quixote, or a book on Greek Mythology?
<GenericSuperhero> READE YW OLDE KANTVRBVRY TALES
<GenericSuperhero> THEYE ARE SHURE TO BEE VARY INTERASTINGE
<GenericSuperhero> HOPEFULLYE, YOU WILL READE IT IN THINE OLDE ENGLISHE
<EvilKosh> HELLO I AM JRE AND I HAVE TO READ HIGH FALOOTIN' BOOKS
<jre> GENARIKE, THOU ART AN FAGOTE OF THE LOW'ST ORDRE
<GenericSuperhero> THANKE YOU JAREE-EE
<jre> DAMN'D BE THOU SEED, AND MAY'ST IT NE'ER PRODUSE A PERSYONE OF ATTRAKTIVE CALIBAR
<GenericSuperhero> AYE, TISS MUSTVE HAPPENED TO YONDERS MOTHERE WHENCE THOU WAS CAPTURED WITHIN HER WOMBE!
<jre> THOU SPEAKST LIKE A RAGEING MANHAT
<GenericSuperhero> AH! THEN EYE SPEAKTH LIKE THINES FATHRE!

#9290 (511)

<pork> gudrow: what about when you're driving and eating a sloppy meat pie and you sneeze really hard into the pie and squeeze it and the meat comes out and scalds your legs and you're doing 120 and can't do anything about it trying to wipe snot from your steering wheel and scalding hot pie
<pork> cause i did that once and it sucked

#9291 (1030)

<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin. I refuse to eat anything smarter than me. Which is why I abstain from broccoli.
<AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me.
<AmbushBug> ...
<AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you.
<jre> Ambush: It's too predictible. We want originality in our comedy.
<jre> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

#9293 (504)

<egg> i had beer for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> egg: I had YOU for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS "EGG." AND I HAD AN EGG I AM A COMEDY GENIUS
<egg> Raz: If that were so, i'd be playing havoc with your colon
<Raz> egg: You did :[

#9297 (14)

<[SZ]-Guest> hi
<[SZ]-Guest> wher i canfound a programe to hacking emails
<[SZ]-Guest> i need hacking program

#9299 (443)

<angryskul> So I think we should allocate a new struct and...
<angryskul> Did someone just jump off the roof?

#9304 (1639)

<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE

#9322 (12957)

#9326 (747)

<Scythe> caps lock is not your friend.
<Scythe> In fact, it is your mortal enemy and it made very disparaging remarks about your mother.

#9329 (288)

<@PakiSpice> missy elliot bothers me
<fromtheashes> that video where she wore a garbage bag scared the bejesus outta me
<fromtheashes> im a supa fly, supa dupa fly
<@PakiSpice> yea
<@PakiSpice> i think it left me somewhat scarred
<fromtheashes> why don't you supa dupa fly your fat ass out of a 4th story window
<fromtheashes> and stop giving me nightmares

#9330 (312)

<heath> then wouldn't being vegetarian mess up the food chain doing the ecological system harm?
<heath> just a thought...
<hoemonkey> yeah.....cause then you let the cows think that they're better.. and then the cows will start eating us. good point, heath.

#9331 (715)

<@reflexive> does your book tell me how to get rid of a sore throat?
<mattlesko> let me look
<mattlesko> pg. 130
<mattlesko> "stop sucking cock"

#9335 (972)

<go_die> brena how do you feel about jewish people
<Brena> what kind of question is that?
<go_die> im just making conversation
<go_die> why are you getting all defensive, hitler

#9336 (1303)

<Undertow-TOoL> You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is