#8473 (227)
<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was.
<mandi> the end of your dad's cock?
#8474 (544)
[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM!
#8476 (284)
<tm> meetings, the alternative to work
<Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work
<Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work
#8477 (24)
<helminthes> was the party cool?
<helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes
<rafeil> heh, no hoes
<helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right
<rafeil> i just drank a little and talked
<helminthes> fucked her right in the face right
<rafeil> yeah
<helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch
#8478 (208)
<cactoid> you're all gay
<cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience
#8479 (192)
<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
#8480 (131)
<esthar> man this guy DEFINITELY ripped me off with beer the other night
<esthar> he made me pay the same amount for a six pack that i could get a 12 pack for
<helminthes> you better watch out.. next thing you know he'll wipe out your family and steal your identity
#8481 (206)
<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter.
<Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
<mmm> gross
<Kaff> how is that normal.
<Kaff> who does that
<Kaff> I WANT NAMES
<Kaff> (and numbers)
#8482 (34)
<dr_rotcod> and you.. you'll be doing something stupid
<dr_rotcod> like skateboarding
#8483 (402)
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock
<Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl
<tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
#8484 (279)
<Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole.
<jamesm> what is it?
<Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their last 5 bucks on mcdonalds
<jamesm> how do they make money?
<Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :)
<jamesm> in case you find another fiver
#8485 (102)
<Kaff> how festy are we talking ?
<tm> makes your armpits seem like surgical theatres
#8486 (220)
<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down
<hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight
<helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner
<hakan> but theres moss on it
#8487 (277)
<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
#8488 (335)
<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!"
<hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say
<dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart
<dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying
<hakan> did it break??
<dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"
#8489 (31)
<helminthes> hey i have a good pick up line
<helminthes> "if you vomit i'm not fucking holding your hair back"
<helminthes> "later"
#8490 (624)
<aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant
<helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?!
<aquacavi> yours or the dogs
<helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S
<helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK
#8491 (291)
<rafeil> i had a dream i had 3 penis's of varying legnth and direction
<rafeil> and 2 girls were sucking on them, but they were sucking on the numb ones. only one had feeling. it was like the head of the hydra myth
<helminthes> no.. not the numb ones.. oh god no.. {wakes up violently in cold sweat}
#8492 (239)
<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*)
<KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all.
<Bayls> KK - What's your speech?
<KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end"
<KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
#8493 (60)
<jamesm> is ntpd 4.0.99k23 ok?
<tm> yeah, giving remote root is now a documented feature
<sisko> laff
<jamesm> well, i know the answer now and i'm not telling you cunts
#8494 (163)
<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all.  so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day
#8495 (264)
[arkZZZ   ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do?
[Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec?
[arkZZZ   ] fkn? where?
#8496 (363)
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
#8497 (570)
<hakan> I hate it when the girl looks into the camera during a blow job. It totally destroys the fourth wall, which is so very important in a porno flick.
#8498 (-67)
<Chris H> I'm going to marry someone with no eyes and no teeth.
<CharlEnie> haha
<Zilv3r> LmAo LoL!
<Chris H> It isn't THAT funny... do u even know why she
<Zilv3r> yeah!! so she doesn't bite you...
<CharlEnie> Does that mean u dont know why she shouldn't have eyes?
<Zilv3r> no.. wait.. i know i know!!! so she cant see you?
<CharlEnie> LoL!