#8440 (155)
<Excession> I'm getting seven figures. "FUCK ALL"
#8441 (371)
<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never shower?
#8443 (327)
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
#8447 (198)
<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.
#8448 (275)
<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
#8449 (244)
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)
#8450 (312)
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
#8451 (180)
<Tippytoes> somewhere in the world, there has to be some chicks that ride motorbikes who are tomboys who also do x-stitch
<sisko> probably
<sisko> that's what women's correctional facilities are for
#8452 (20)
<Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds
<mk4> whats quarter chicken ?
<mk4> like a quater pounder ?
<Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave
#8453 (14)
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
#8454 (184)
<helminthes> throw caution to the wind and then piss right into it
#8455 (124)
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
#8457 (431)
<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
#8458 (346)
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah
#8461 (187)
<Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks?
<Kaff> nah sharks
<Mandi> same diff
<jamesn> cocks with teef
<Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end
#8462 (225)
<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her name would be kimberly wimberly
#8463 (187)
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.
#8464 (225)
<jamesm> what's a java strategy?
<undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems
<jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ?
#8465 (537)
<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers all round the world can work on it for me
#8466 (191)
<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute, look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}
#8468 (54)
* Tippytoes looks at kaff's box
<Tippytoes> err
<Tippytoes> that sounded bad
#8469 (209)
<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke
#8470 (345)
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.
#8471 (1249)
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit?
<sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
<mmm> i do that
<mmm> "oh god"
#8472 (465)
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"