<BigPigPeaches> But suddenly I consider: we have always thought of R2D2 as a light-hearted comic relief type of droid. With his tweets, chirps, raspberries, and whoops, how could he be anything other than cute?
<BigPigPeaches> But what if people were misunderstanding what he is actually saying? What if he could be accurately translated? And what if he were saying things that werent cute at all? To wit:
<BigPigPeaches> (The scene where Luke and R2D2 are leaving Hoth in Lukes x-wing)
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Hey, assclamp, where the hell are you hauling me?
<BigPigPeaches> Luke: Theres nothing wrong, Artoo, Im just setting a new course.
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Oh, goodie. Are we going to see your dad? Cause you know hes Darth Vader, right? I mean, you know that, otherwise youre even more of a dumbass than I thought.
<BigPigPeaches> Luke: Were not going to regroup with the others.
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Thats probably because they know what theyre doing, and you dont.
<BigPigPeaches> Luke: Were going to the Dagobah system.
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: The Bagadouche system? What an appropriate destination for a douchebag such as yourself. Are you sure you dont want me to fly? Cause Ill bet youre going to crash us into some godforsaken swampy bog, you mindless pube.
<BigPigPeaches> (Later on in Cloud City, during the escape scene)
<BigPigPeaches> 3PO: Artoo! Where have you been?
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Listen, you bronzed dildo, Ive been dicking around in a frigging swamp for the better part of two weeks while some wannabe wizard has been taking advice from an ancient lizard. I got slime in my droid genitals, a bad yeast infection, and Im not in the mood for your prissy shit, so put a metal cork in it, buttnozzle.
<BigPigPeaches> 3PO: Well at least youre still in one piece, look what happened to me!
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Yeah yeah yeah, you got blasted to shit, they should have left your ass in that scrap heap. You have contributed absolutely nothing useful to this point. By the way, how is it that youre even more of a whiny bitch than you were in the first three movies? I thought they wiped your frigging memory.
<BigPigPeaches> Do they have some sort of universal BitchBot app that they keep putting in your lame ass? Bitch.
<BigPigPeaches> (while trying to unlock the landing platform door)
<BigPigPeaches> 3PO: Artoo, you can tell the computer to override the security system!
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Oh, thanks for reminding me, you pretentious fuckstick. Do you know what else I can do? I can FRIGGING FLY! George Lucas said so! But that didnt stop me from falling into an effing swamp on that Bagadouche planet. By the way, did you know that Darth Vader is Lukes father? Cause I DO!
<BigPigPeaches> Oh, look, I got fried by a goddamn computer terminal. Thanks, dickweed.
<BigPigPeaches> 3PO: Dont blame me. I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.
<BigPigPeaches> Artoo: Youre supposed to know your droid ass from a hole in the ground, but you dont. Jesus, I should have left your sorry ass on that ship, you sphincter. Just wait till I get to use my little welding thingy on your droid scrote. I hate you and all these miserable bastards. Wheres my Oscar?