#14575 (726)
<prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW!  PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO!  SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT MUSIC: NIN]"
#14581 (690)
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#14582 (674)
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl
#14583 (151)
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming
#14589 (264)
<+CmOrHaIr> i can put a computer together and be prepareing the hdd in 20 min
<+CmOrHaIr> or 15 even
<+Jackworks> CmOrHaIr: if u do it in 15 i bet i can make it in 14
* ^Caliban makes sure to avoid any computers put together by Cmor or Jack
#14591 (124)
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)
#14592 (442)
<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary, but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I was good.
#14596 (50)
<+pfk-serv> your married...thats interesting....your constantly downloading porn...i figure you were just like the rest of us...perverts
#14600 (210)
<Wilik> i'd download the .txt version of the bible
<Wilik> but it might corrupt my computer
#14602 (229)
<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp
#14608 (379)
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out of the game I ROCK
#14609 (41)
<[ryan]> there have been many times that i popped a boner on accident and i was like
<[ryan]> in a cold sweat
<[ryan]> trying to get that mother down
#14618 (290)
<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22
#14619 (232)
(@Kensey): what's a cack
(@TheNoid): kensey: PENIS
(@Kensey): cool i have a cack
#14621 (47)
(@Grantfly): i'm actually rubbing my balls right now
(@Grantfly): i wonder if my parents' keyboard is gonna smell like my balls
(@Grantfly): they might not like that
#14622 (521)
<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume:  Domestic Goddess      <-  Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house
#14623 (341)
(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...
#14624 (307)
(WoHo): im as pure as a virgin :D
(Lachlann): take out the 2nd, 3rd and 4th word from woho's sentence and it's true
#14625 (55)
(@Cloud7): CACK OR HOTDOG
(@Cloud7): THAT IS THE QUESTION
(@RaiNiNG): hotdog tastes better
(@Cloud7): i doubt it
#14627 (253)
*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)
#14629 (79)
(@Drizzt): being fat = broken
(@Drizzt): it got me off army for obesity :D
#14631 (365)
<ne|l> hmm, think i was supposed to get married today
<pilt> i know, she just told me from under the desk.
#14632 (313)
<Adie> I could see pinching pain but fire pain?
<Adie> owwwie
<Cel|Work> its quick
<HeiWork> you just need to moisten the breast a little so the vaporizing liquid absorbs the heat instead of the breast
<HeiWork> really, there's hard scientific reasons for why i need to lick your titties
#14638 (958)
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?
#14647 (282)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
the recycling bin.