#11203 (321)
<GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to reverse it
<GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
<Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope
#11204 (135)
electo435: what time do you think this will all go down?
boozehound420: after sex
electro435: so like next week sometime
#11206 (242)
<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet
#11208 (443)
<Mr_Evets> I wonder what would happen if I were to eat some Brine Shrimp
<Mr_Evets> I wonder if they'd mix with the semen in my stomach and create a seaciety
<Sabrejack> yes. they would.
<Mr_Evets> Would they build statues of me and worship me?
<Mr_Evets> Then the other half build statues of something else, worship it
<Mr_Evets> and start suicide bombing each other??
<Sabrejack> quite likely.
<Mr_Evets> Excellent
<Mr_Evets> Because I already ate the brine shimp
#11211 (409)
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone
#11212 (520)
<arckbar> I was putting in a new sound card, and I accidently ejaculated all over the inside my computer. Now my computer won't turn on. Any advice on what I should do?
<arckbar> Basically I blanked, I was putting in the card, and when I came to, there was cum all inside the machine, and my computer wouldn't work
#11214 (45)
<Meat_PoPs> what a guy, jumps all over you then falls asleep
* Meat_PoPs shakes his head
<Mog> thats what most men would do
<Meat_PoPs> hehe
<Mog> pretend to fall asleep, plus women have a naturaly built in pillow for us
<Coan_Arcanius> hehe
<Meat_PoPs> mmm they are cushy
#11215 (286)
<@Drezdar> !google teen pregnancy crisis hotline
<@Drezdar> Heh, don't ask.
#11216 (285)
<Phonoflux> So I was watching TV last night
<Phonoflux> and my mom
<Phonoflux> she lent over and opened her legs
<cuebol> and I climbed out
#11217 (132)
<@Drezdar> nah I'm not racist - but I am fully against paying for some foreign fuckface to teach me when I can't figure out what the Habib is saying.
<@Path> !
#11219 (146)
<Twitch> next halloween i should hand out SVCDs
<Twitch> i wonder if the cops would show up
#11222 (287)
e l i t e m r p (11:56:26 PM): 80 dagrees 95% humidity
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:50 PM): yesterday it was 90 deg and 90humidity here
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:53 PM): so i can relate
e l i t e m r p (11:57:47 PM): yeah but im wearing a 300 pound suit of lard
#11223 (249)
<Jubei301> I want a director's cut version of the matrix where the red and blue pills are suppositories...
#11224 (271)
<k0reany0> hey it's been long time since I've talked to you.
<Xilokumsh0t> let's meet up and have a beer sometime
<k0reany0> sure.  btw how is your wife nancy doing?
<Xilokumsh0t> her name is suzy
<k0reany0> who cares!
#11225 (129)
* pygmy fires up excel
[@pygmy] or not
[@pygmy] I'd need it installed to do that :)
#11226 (103)
<CactusEarl> any of you want to kill my alegbra teacher, he hates me
<CactusEarl> he thinks im going to shoot him
<CactusEarl> "oh my lord earl why does your quiz paper say im gonna kill you mister rose"
#11229 (31)
<Bismarck> i recently decided that bsd is dead because it cannot hope to survive when it gives away it's IP with no protections whatsoever.
#11230 (227)
<David> topic lock off ?
<David> how
<David> ?
<DJ-Pyro> /msg chanserv help
<SSJ4xVegeta> how do i group my nicks 2gether
<DJ-Pyro> /msg nickserv help
<DJ-Pyro> you'll notice a pattern
#11232 (77)
<Karma> brb bathroom...
<DasAJ> we dont call the toilet a bathroom
<DasAJ> ever tried bathing in the toilet?
<SaladInc> there's a bath in the room though
<DasAJ> not here
<DasAJ> toilet is next door to the bathroom
<DasAJ> I dont want some dirty fucker stinking out the bathroom when i need to brush my teeth
#11236 (253)
<@Breathe> I'd like to thank the Academy...  My parents... Adelphia cable and the fuckwits who dug up our sidewalk...
<Vo0> thats a word i havent seen you use befoe breathe 8)
<@Breathe> "Fuckwits?"  Or "sidewalk?"
#11237 (734)
<Lord_Igsel> i remember an 11 year old kid on irc once, he had 'found out' about masturbation, and we were all laughing at him and things like "wooww what's it like how did you do itt' and then he said 'a friend showed me. i rubbed his dick, he rubbed mine.'
<Lord_Igsel> and then we got scared. :D
#11238 (304)
<Drew```> I really dont appriciate my sister saying "oh, close your eyes andrew, I already took off my pants outside"
#11241 (458)
<xdeep> does anyone have a computer currently handy
#11244 (419)
<Hippie316> plus i have one of the worlds smallest rooms
<Hippie316> ask dop hes seen my room
<Hippie316> plus he can attest to it being small
<Doppelganger> no I cant
<Doppelganger> oh, you mean the room
<Doppelganger> yeah
#11246 (691)
<Saber> help me
<Saber> I just ate a fortune cookie
<Saber> But I don't remember taking the fortune out